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Vang Vieng & the Mighty Mekong
'Early to bed, early to rise' as they say. We packed our bags in usual speedy and semi-conscious fashion, and trudged into the centre of town to the bus station next to the market. The 8:30am bus was already full so we decided to get breakfast and hop on the 09.30 departure, bound for Vang Vieng. Revisiting the same restaurant we ate at upon arrival, we opted for another hearty portion of En soup minus the Beer Lao. Adam disappeared just before the bus was due to depart in search of fresh fruit and snacks for the long, winding journey ahead. He was stopped in the middle of the market area by an elderly Australian man in search of directions. As it happens John, (the Aussie) had just come from Vang Vieng and provided Adam with a lot of useful information, in particular about an Organic farm-stay which trained locals in organic farming practices and harboured labour from willing foreigners in exchange for cheap lodgings at the established Mulberry farm. John had been there teaching English as well as tending to the farm goats and chickens, and had thoroughly enjoyed it. He strongly recommended that if we didn't decide to stay, to at least go and try the Hibiscus iced tea.
Mid-afternoon we were let out of the bus at the old airstrip, which may have possibly been used during the Indochina war, but is now converted to a bit of a bus park and community events venue. We zig zagged our way towards the main part of town and were greeted by a friendly man from New Zealand passing on a scooter. He invited us to his guesthouse, Pan's Place; to use the bathroom we had been desperate to visit for the last couple of hours, and to enjoy a beer in his shady front porch. Staying for two beers and a couple of re-hydrating fruit shakes, Lana had remembered the location of some bungalow style cottages hidden away from the Felangs (foreigners) which she had stayed in previously, and wandered off to see if they were still available. Within around 10 minutes she arrived smiling after not only finding the bungalows, but having also negotiated a mighty fine price for a nights stay in comparison to the rest available in town. The accommodation was first class, probably the best after Singapore, set in a cute tropical garden, with a private landing, sun bed, a clean, tiled ensuite, a huge (very comfortable) bed, cable television all at the very low price of 50,000 KIP, ($7 AUS) per night!
It was rumoured that the mini Laos-style Vegas or Gold Coast, was packed with a multitude of lively bars and restaurants which screened, episode by episode, the entire series' of the TV show 'Friends' just as Lana remembered, but the 'Family Guy' and 'Simpsons' were also the latest additions to the restaurants with their 24/7 play list. Being outright 'Family Guy' kind of people, we bunkered down happily on the chill out, heavily cushioned couch set up directly in front of the Plasma TV. Although the En soup, (being very cheap, tasty and nutritious) high carbohydrates and high protein riddled food was the order of the day! We awkwardly ordered a few cold beers from the obviously overworked, underpaid, semi anti-foreigner Laotian proprietor. Adam devoured a hamburger with the lot and large fries in minutes as the health conscious Lana gambled on a chicken salad. Peter Griffin and Co at this point was in fine form and the beers were definitely flowing free. If only we knew then what we know now, perhaps we may have put on Uncle Maurice's hand brake and had an early night. (Sorry Maurice!).
By dark we found ourselves across the road and inside the most popular backpacker party bar in Vang Vieng, having signed up for a game of Killer Pool. At this point our ambition and ability was as far out of balance as our sobriety. The level of our inebriation seemed directly proportional to our premature elimination from the match. Lana however had showed reasonable form, Adam being substantially off colour and showed early signs of buckling under the alcoholic pressure; having not sunk even one ball on his three chances. Quickly realising that our interests would be better served by sleeping and not binging further on cheap and nasty liquor, and having offended an American guy with comparison's of a 'poor man's Fred Durst', referring to his red baseball cap worn backwards and baggy white shirt, we promptly departed the bar and headed home via a chocolate and banana pancake stand and baguette stop at a versatile Indian restaurant.
Shortly after arriving back at the bungalow, Lana, for reasons unknown, had decided to exit our room after taking off her shorts, and proceeded to lock herself outside. Adam had gotten into bed, instantly comatose and despite Lana's intense efforts at banging and shouting through the door he did not stir. Oh how the tables had turned since Adam's window ledge scaling in Koh Samui! Weighing up her options, Lana decided to try and alert Adam to her demise from the open window. Scaling the exterior wall of the bamboo, and wooden retreat (poised on stilts 5 feet above the ground), she climbed up without any aid to boost her height in reaching the window, only to face the iron security grill over the opening. Her calls still went unanswered, but she had another idea! Gathering some large decorative garden rocks (frequently dropped in the process) she put her fist through the fly screen, and hurled them at the unmoving lump of Adam in the bed as hard as she could. Sheer relentless anger, fuelled by copious amounts of Dutch courage, and convinced this should work she made several clambers back down to collect more boulders. After 3 or 4 handfuls, all well on target, (15 was the total we found in the morning) Lana's efforts still proved to be futile. In her inebriated state she attempted to sleep it off on the sun bed under a drying bathroom towel, but was viciously attacked by the swarming mosquitoes. This added to her distress and initial frustration and left her with only one option...entry by force!
10:30am the following morning, Adam woke severely hung over, restless and uncomfortable due to undefined pressure being applied to numerous parts of his body. He rolled over to find three smooth, fist sized pebbles on and under the blanket and what appeared to be 7 or 8 smaller stones on the floor beside the bed next to the door which was curiously, slightly askew. Adam tried to remember if we had both been so reckless as to leave the door open during the night, with an invitation for anyone to take all our worldly possessions, or wondered if Lana was feeling a lot better than he and had just slipped outside to catch some sun and fresh air? Rolling over finding Lana looking half dead, he turned back once again toward the door, eyes now better focused, noticing the true destruction that had been caused. To put it plainly, splintered pieces of hardwood timber were scattered around the floor, the lock was broken away from the frame (which was, once, one whole piece of hard wood to make things worse) the steel plate and screws missing, strewn somewhere around the floor. "What the …?"
Clearly the missing pieces of the puzzle soon came together as Lana explained how she had to ram her way through the door "just like they do in the movies". (Who claims TV doesn't contribute to violence?). After some crafty work on Adam's behalf with the ever realisable and trusty Leather man, almost all of the evidence of destruction was erased, or at least acceptably well masked. We were very lucky on this occasion, and hope that lessons will be duly learnt! As a result from now on until death do us part, Lana is aptly known as..."Action Banshee"!
The rest of the day was an absolute write off, and spent mostly in bed, recuperating. A guilt-riddled Lana, made a run for baguettes and fruit shakes, and we prepared ourselves for the next day's 5km Tuk Tuk journey up the river, to float downstream in old Tractor inner tubes; stopping at frequent refreshment points to replenish our depleting 650ml Beer Lao cans, and to politely accept the hospitality of the free Whisky shots and hash joints...
Lining our bellies with a massive, healthy breakfast was the wisest thing that we did on 'Tubing' day, and walking the length of town to the tube station, probably the most active. Upon reflection, albeit hazy, tubing, drinking and smoking Ganja is far from over-exertive, especially on a slow flowing river during one of the driest months of the season. However, it was exactly what we needed and made us feel as if we were tourists on a brief holiday that regular people take on their annual leave. Not saying that we are not regular people, but you know what we mean. Setting off with 5 fellow enthusiasts we figured we would arrive back in Vang Vieng at around 4pm with still enough daylight to guide us home if we happened to over-indulge.
The blaring Ministry of Sound dance music on one side of the river, with Brian Adams squawking out rock ballads from the other bank we could see how this could turn very messy very quickly for the slightly younger party-hungry crowds. The congregation of small riverside bars with Lao men standing on the bank throwing rope at each of us, dragging us in for more whisky and beer, are evidently keen for your business as soon as you hit the water in your inflatable ring. We managed to avoid the majority of these and the dangerously shallow rope swings (having seen the state of people in town following their own tubing adventures on previous days, including several on crutches or limping strangely) and continued down to a quieter spot for our next refill. We shared most of the journey with a really nice couple from New Zealand, (Mike & Angela) who were travelling the South East Asia circuit and an Israeli guy, (Amit) who had left his job following his completion of National Service and were doing the same. Stopping off at regular intervals for refills of Beer Lao, and the mandatory and unlabeled, guess-the-percentage Lao Lao Whisky shots, we floated peacefully and care free down the beautiful river flanked by the natural beauty of 300 metre vertical limestone cliff faces behind us. It was perfect! By this point we were really feeling the pinch and wisely decided to slow down as a repeat performance by "Action Banshee" would have been clearly unacceptable : )
On schedule we arrived on the shallow banks of Vang Vieng with only a short walk to town to return the tubes. Unfortunately this short walk is intercepted by the famous Sunset Bar, which serves the coldest beer, at the lowest prices and offers a free hash joint on arrival. It was run by a couple of crazy Canadians who kept us more than entertained until the munchies kicked in. We both decided to head back to town, drop off the tubes, reclaim our security deposit and spend it on a stack of food, but not until we had a tube fight in the grass instigated by whom else..."Action Banshee".
Across a small bamboo bridge we arrived in a quieter part of town and ordered big chicken baguettes from a small, down-to-earth restaurant, finding it difficult to eat between fits of uncontrollable laughter over God knows what, although, of course he/she does! After some suspicious gazes from the other diners, we left together with the insatiable void seemingly growing bellies, and headed once again to the Family Guy shop for dinner, then another baguette stall on the stagger home.
In the morning we woke fresh and sprightly, much to our surprise, and realised that we had slept for almost 12 hours after flaking out like real lamoes at 8pm. We are surely getting old?! With enthusiasm and an abundant amount of energy we confidently hired bicycles for the day and rode out of town for 6km to the Organic Mulberry Farm as recommended. The farm had a really relaxed approach and was operated by a few Laotians. We were led to believe that the concept was initially developed by a foreigner, and then handed over to Lao locals who had been trained and obviously showed interest in developing sustainable farming as an alternative to traditional, or modern methods, which had been in use for generations. It would be fair to say at having only limited knowledge of the Lao way of life and culture that this transition would have probably been relatively smooth as they prove to be very industrious and easily adaptable to even dramatic changes, as opposed to some countries we have become familiar with.
We were invited to self guide our way around the farm and were impressed at the diversity of plants, the array of everyday and exotic fruits and animal species, including a silk worm shed, over a modest area of land. The main fruit plantation was rather overrun with weed material and creeping vine which needed some urgent attention, and also restricted our viewing due to concern for snakes, potentially cobras, hiding in the long grasses. Adam thought he would honour John's well intentioned advice, and ordered a Hibiscus tea at the cosy riverside restaurant, as Lana was eager to try the potent and pungently dry Mulberry wine, and a Star fruit wine, which was very sweet and on the verge of becoming a bad port! The tea was delicious; the wine unfortunately required a lot of fine tuning.
Working in this environment for a minimal charge seemed like the perfect opportunity for us. To learn important skills and information about Organic farming, wine production, harvesting, keeping livestock etc and the ability to effectively amalgamate all of these together efficiently on an ongoing basis would have been an invaluable experience. A possible Permaculture enterprise has been discussed in our future plans after or even during 'The Zig Zag Way'; however on this occasion we are restricted by time and didn't stay to get involved. The only way being forward, we were due to leave for Luang Prabang first thing in the morning, but definitely next time, consider this our reconnaissance trip!
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