Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
Gerard's Travels
I can't keep this blog going or updated if the entries continue to be as long as yesterday's; there's just not the time of day to waffle on that much. So from today, I'll try to promise less ******** and more getting to the point when I'm writing so you actually have the chance to read what we're doing. Wish me luck, but also forgive me if I don't; after all, it's for your entertainment. After that bad start, let's get going then... I woke up today at about 6:00am. It really annoyed me because I had a good hour more to sleep before I really had to get up, and after yesterday's big day I was certain I was tired. But then I fell back asleep, dozed through my alarm at 7am (I turned it off when it did go off), and finally woke up at 7:25am. Maybe I really was tired. When I did rouse, I gently woke Stace up, knowing we had 5 minutes before we'd said we would meet Jenna, Leigh and the kids for breakfast. Giving Stace a limited window to get ready really circumvents her dial-up modem like instincts, and in a flash she was awake and in the shower. Wow. I decided not to shower before breakfast, because I'm not the quickest showerer in the world and we wouldn't ever have made it at what could be defined a reasonably late time. As the limo we were going on today wasn't coming to pick us up until 9am, I figured I'd have plenty of time after breaky to shower anyway. It was a good decision, as we rocked up to the buffet only 10 minutes late (contrary to Stace's usual slowness to wake up, she's a quick as hell showerer). We were even earlier than Jenna and Leigh, but they probably have a good excuse considering they have 4 kids to get ready for the day. The breakfast buffet was exactly what I expected. Weird sausage, weirder eggs, terrible bacon, and completely sugar filled cereals, pastries and condiments. Pardon the pun (which is completely intended), but sweet! After all, we are in America! I began with a bit of sausage, potato and waffle, of which I masked its sheer awfulness with heaps of maple syrup. I like maple syrup a lot, so when that was done, even knowing they were ****, I went and got another two waffles and drowned those in maple syrup too. I'm definitely going to get fat on this trip. Stace helped herself to a couple of juices with her breakfast, which were just like concentrated cordial, and we were both too scared to try the coffee, not because we'd heard that coffee is terrible here, but because the only options for milk were skim or 1% milk, whatever the **** that is! By 10 minutes in Jenna, Leigh and the kids had joined us at breaky as well, with the kids full of energy for a big day. Anyway, I'm sure of all the things we're doing a painstaking explanation of breakfast isn't what you came here for, and I did promise to cut the ******** (that didn't last long), so I'll move on. We finished up breakfast pretty quickly so I could get back to the room to shower and get ready. I had to have a shave too because Jenna had whinged last night when I was gnawing her neck that it was a bit rough. While I had only shaved yesterday, it was a 41 hour day so it was basically a couple of days, and I also didn't wanna give Jenna any reason not to want me to gnaw her neck. Stace and I were ready to go just before 9am, so we headed towards the hotel entrance where a massive limo was waiting for us. Jenna and her whole family were already there getting a few photos, which we joined in on and instantly made the photos even more beautiful. It was here that Stace and I both realised we'd made a fatal mistake. Stace has a dress that looks awfully similar to a t-shirt I own, and on a couple of occasions we've ended up wearing them at the same time and looking like we've dressed to match. Today was one of those occasions. Now we're pretty cute, but even that is a little bit too throw-up-in-your-mouth cute. Realising our mistake, and also appreciating that we were probably going to spend some of our day at least making fun of American corny fashion sense, I decided I needed to change my top. I quickly ran back to the room, changed it, and we were on the road just after 9, crisis averted. The limo was pimpin' (one day in, I'm talking American)! It was so massive, it accommodated 8 of us. It had lights in the ceiling, a TV on the wall, and a full bar down one side of the car, complete with champagne and soft drinks. It was the perfect way to go out and see LA. We started by cruising along a whole host of freeways, heading past downtown LA and into Hollywood. It's really true what they say about LA being just a network of freeways, they just go off everywhere. As we neared Hollywood, the driver let us know that out the window we'd get a pretty good glimpse of the Hollywood sign. As we were sitting along the side of the limo, the window was right in front of us like a cinema screen, and finally Stace was able to see the Hollywood sign appearing right in the middle of a window. Either that or she just said she could again, not wanting to embarrass herself in front of her friends that she couldn't see it. I think the latter. We turned off the freeway and onto the famous Hollywood Boulevard, only I'm not sure why it is so famous. The whole place just looks like an ageing cultural landmark just living off the glory of the past. A bit like ACDC still thinking they're any good. They're not (bogans come at me, I'll take you). There's nothing much to the so called Walk of Fame; it's just some filthy stars on a filthy footpath. We did drive past the Capitol Records building though, which is pretty iconic, so that was pretty good. The limo dropped us off just in a side street off the main part of Hollywood Boulevard, and gave us 45 minutes or so to have a look around. We split up from Jenna, Leigh and the kids, and headed off in our own direction for a look around. We walked a few blocks up, past the Chinese Theatre where heaps of celebrities have put hand and footprints, as well as a signed message to the theatres owners, in the footpath out the front of the building. We also passed the Dolby Theatre, which is home to the Oscars. It's actually part of a big shopping centre and looked nothing like what you'd see on TV watching the Oscars, not that I make a habit of watching them! It was in this shopping centre that you could get a really good view of the Hollywood sign behind it, so Stace and I followed the stairs up to the viewing platform and got some photos. It was actually pretty awesome to see something that is seen so frequently in movies and TV shows in real life. The rest of the street though was filled up with really tacky movie character impersonators, who wanted money if you took a photo with them, heaps of people trying to flog off their music CDs, who wanted money if they managed to shove it in your hand, and homeless people and beggars, who just wanted money. It was fun to go there, but it was really underwhelming. By the time our 45 minutes was up, we were well and truly ready to go. In fact we were probably there 15 minutes too long! Almost to the minute, the limo driver rocked up to take us to our next destination. We all loaded in and took off down the road. Just 200 metres down that road we drove past an In-n-Out Burger chain. Had I known we were so close to it I definitely would've been straight there; they have a massive reputation and I really wanna try one while I'm here. This blog's not TripAdvisor, but if it was I'd actually advise anyone planning a trip here to skip Hollywood Boulevard and go to In-n-Out and stuff your face full of burgers for the 45 minute stop. While I still haven't had a burger there, you surely won't be disappointed, or at the very least less disappointed! The next part of the tour was a drive through Beverly Hills to see the famous people's homes. Or at least the gates and perimeter fences of the famous people's homes. They restrict the sizes of vehicles that can go in some of the streets here so tour companies can't drive past most of the famous people's homes (or gates or fences), but we got to see a few homes, including Jennifer Lopez's and Arnold Schwarzenegger's (really glad auto-spell picked up that I was trying to spell Schwarzenegger there). We also opened the champagne on the way which further extended our own celebrity credentials. We stopped off for a quick photo at the Beverly Hills sign, before heading for our next longer stop on Rodeo Drive in downtown Beverly Hills. As you'd expect, this area was pretty glitzy, with high-end department stores lining the clean and polished streets. No homeless here, though if I bought anything in any of the shops I'd likely have become homeless to finance my purchase. Jenna's mum Annette was particularly excited about this stop as she got to see some fountain that's featured on The Bold & The Beautiful, of which she's an avid fan. Her and my dad would get on well. Right next to the fountain was a Tiffany & Co store, and both Stace and Jenna went in there looking. Eek, there goes the house. While they were inside, the rest of us hung around the fountain. I took refuge in the shade on some steps nearby, because the sun was incredibly hot in LA, and my poor skin would be red before long if I didn't. As a side note, Stace really likes the colour red so maybe I should've stayed in the sun; it could've created a fairytale later on... Thankfully Stace didn't want anything in Tiffany's, which meant we'd still have money to continue this trip, and still have a nice home to go back to (unless Josh is doing a s***house job house sitting). After about half an hour, we all loaded back into the limo to continue our LA cruise, this time heading to Santa Monica Beach. It took about 45 minutes to get down there, be once we did arrive I decided that as there would be no escaping the sun, I really should put some sunscreen on. Interesting story hey? It sort've does get interesting because while we were urging it on, we saw squirrels, yay! The whole area was pretty packed, but it was easy to see why; it was a hot and sunny day, and the beach was pretty beautiful. The foreshore just falls away down a cliff, and opens up to a massive beachfront, stretching all the way to the spectacular mountains in the distance. It's pretty hilly all the way around LA actually, and the mountains really do hug the coastline north of the city. After getting all lathered up in sunscreen, we all headed towards the famous Santa Monica Pier, and Stace and I headed off to find some lunch. The pier itself was absolutely packed, but we slowly walked along it and eventually found a spot for a burger (burger number 2, yes!). After lunch we went into the amusement park on the pier; we just had to ride the roller coaster on the Santa Monica Pier. We were about to play a 'hit the mule' amusement game when we bumped into Jenna's crew again, who were heading to the roller coaster. I left the mules knowing I had a date with destiny with them later. The old-fashioned roller coaster was good fun, and a bit like the one at Luna Park. It was particularly scary for Annette, who didn't really want to do it, but made herself go on it because a character from The Bold & The Beautiful went on it. She's obsessed! Afterwards, Stace and I returned to bash some miles, and like in any American movie, I played the classic boyfriend and won her a stuffed animal, beating two other children to do it (that part isn't as cliché). I won too, because I get to stuff the little lion in my backpack for the rest of the trip, yay! Pretty quickly, our couple of hours at the beach was coming to an end, so we headed back to the limo, and then back towards Anaheim. Along the way, I saw that the trees lining a lot of the freeway were actually Australian eucalyptus trees. Leigh said that apparently the Americans shipped a whole heap of them over decades ago to use in plantations, but they got the wrong ones so they planted them along the freeways! The limo returned us to our hotel at about 4:30pm, ending what was a pretty good tour in seeing some of the sights of LA, even if some of those sights weren't all they're cracked up to be. Still reeling from a bit of jet-lag, Stace and I went back for a little rest in our room, and to watch 'The Lion King', knowing we still had some excitement to come for the day. Earlier in the day before we left for the tour, we booked a couple of seats for the NBA finals, which were starting tonight at the Staples Center (I know it's spelt 'centre' at home but not here, and I'm naming a place, so when I do that I'll be using the place's spelling) between the LA Clippers and some other team I can't remember right now (clearly I'm into basketball). It was pretty awesome it worked out they were playing tonight, because it meant we'd be able to experience a major American sport. Our biggest challenge now though was how we were going to get there. It is a fair distance to downtown LA, with no public transport, and a taxi was gonna cost us over $100 each way. Enter Leigh, who had hired a car, and was half keen to go to the game. We were hoping he'd decide to go because then it meant that was an option, and lucky for us, he did. I got him a ticket and Stace and I headed upstairs to their room to meet him. The discussion turned towards getting an Uber, which was a viable option, and we were about to book it. Then disaster struck. If there is any story that gives you a real appreciation of how **** American food is, this is it. Jenna and Leigh's toilet was blocked. Their two oldest sons, Jarvis and Zaya, whose collective age probably wouldn't reach 12, had both been to the toilet in succession and laid such big logs back-to-back that they'd actually clogged the toilet. Within a couple of testing flushes, water was lapping at the top of the bowl. It was actually hilarious. What was more hilarious was Jenna's reaction. Knowing that any call to maintenance would make them think it was her (I mean come on, would you really believe two kids could do that?), and not wanting that embarrassment, she was adamant that she was taking Leigh's ticket to the basketball if it wasn't fixed before we had to go. Luckily for Leigh maintenance came quickly, and fixed it even quicker, meaning he was as free as the now unblocked toilet was to go to the game. But I didn't let Jenna get away with it that easily; when maintenance did come, I made sure to drop a muttering that I couldn't believe she could do that, which wasn't very discreet! By that time the fare multiplier on Uber was coming into play (when there's high demand they multiply the fare to encourage more drivers on the road), turning a $40 trip into almost $100, which we didn't want to do. So we decided to drive. By the time we were in the car, fares had returned to normal so we booked the Uber instead. Confusing hey? And probably a bit pointless in the context of it all. Anyway, to cut a very long story short, we made it to the game with just enough time to collect our tickets, attempt to buy a beer, and get to our seats. I say attempt to buy beer because when we got to the front of the line, the bloke wanted to see all of our I.D's, but we only had Australian drivers licences and he wouldn't accept them. Odd. Particularly given Stace is almost 30! Leigh on his own lined up at a different place and managed to get a couple. My hero. By the time we got to our seats they were doing the American National Anthem, which was a hugely patriotic experience. Everybody was given a free t-shirt which painted the whole stadium red, and a bracelet that lit up in time with the national anthem, sending the crowd into raptures. Once the game got going, everybody was pumped and the atmosphere was amazing inside the stadium. We were sitting way up the back, in the bleachers they would say, but that didn't deter from the experience. It wasn't just a basketball game, but a full on lights and music show, almost as if it's made purely for the entertainment. In the end, the Clippers won pretty easy, making the crowd very happy. We managed to sneak a couple more beers in during the game, but because the lines were so big, we weren't able to get any food, which I was really upset about because I really wanted to see if they had nacho hats. Oh well, next time! After the game, we knew it was going to be pretty busy, and the dreaded Uber multiplier was applying again. To fix this problem, we decided to find a close bar, one that needed to have wifi, so we could have a beer and maybe even some food as we were pretty starving, and wait it out till fares returned to normal. It was actually going to cost us less to drink beer and eat than it would have if we didn't! Stace suggested Hooters, which was just across the road. God bless her. We sat down and ordered a couple of appetisers, including nachos (not of the hat wearing variety), and washed it all down over a couple of beers. Finally it was time to go, the Uber fares having returned to normal and Hooters about to close, so we booked a car, got in a few minutes later, and began our journey back to Anaheim, where we (well Stace and I at least, I can't speak for Leigh) collapsed into bed and fell asleep. Our first full day done, and it was full on!
- comments