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Special Edition: Redisodes
While on the train leaving Russia, we have been reflecting about some of the unique experiences that we have had in this country. This special edition is an attempt to capture some of the more chaotic and/or humorous Russian adventures that we have had.
1. Transportation
a) Metro - We have found the metro stations to be a bit more complicated than what is necessary. Unlike every other train system that we have experienced, when you attempt to change lines, you actually have to go to an entirely different station. This can be particularly confusing when looking at where a train goes as you need to know both the station that you will arrive at and the station that you need to transfer to rather than just changing a platform.
David and Amber were the first to experience this in Moscow when while doing their reconnaissance, they planned to get out at Arbatskaya but ended up at an entirely different location, at least a kilometre away from their intended destination.
b) Taxis - In Russia, official taxi ranks do not exist. All Russians seem to use an app in order to book a legitimate taxi that will come to you in a similar way to an uber. Out the front of major attractions, 'pirate taxis' triple park themselves, preying on unsuspecting tourismos. Their fares are at least double what the legitimate taxis charge.
Out of necessity we have had to use pirate taxis twice, but have learned to negotiate before entering the vehicle to reduce the price somewhat.
2. Dining
English is not commonly spoken by people in the hospitality industry. While English menus have been presented to us everywhere, ordering food and beverages has sometimes been problematic.
The best example of this was when Gemma and Gareth decided to take refuge in a cafe after their freezing canal boat excursion. They entered a cafe that said 'breakfast and coffee' on the outside but when the menu was put in front of them, the front cover said 'Irish pub'. When the waiter approached, Gareth pointed to the menu and requested chocolate banana cake and a Belgian hot chocolate. What was delivered was a bright green pistachio cream cake and a Pepsi. When questioned with google translate and more pointing to the page with five variations of hot chocolate, the waiter said, "Nyet!" David was amazed that they still left a tip!
3. Facilities
The female toilets in museums and restaurants have left a bit to be desired. Not only is it customary to not flush toilet paper leaving an unsavoury stench of urine, but we have found our entries and exits have been a bit tricky.
a) Amber set off by herself to the bathroom at the Museum of the Great Patriotic War in Moscow to find that the toilet cubicles were on a raised platform accessed by two large steps. Intrigued, but unconcerned she ascended the stairs and entered one of the cubicles. When trying to leave however she discovered that the handle on the inside was broken and therefore she was trapped. Alarmed at the possibility of being stuck inside a disgusting cubical indefinitely, she began to jiggle the handle more aggressively. Not wanting to shoulder barge the door and fall down the steps she decided that she would stick her foot out to make it clear to passersby that there was a problem. Luckily Gemma entered the toilet and identified Amber's shoe and her voice saying "hello" and noticed that she wasn't coming out and that the handle was being rattled. She asked if Amber was ok, to which Amber responded a resounding "No, I'm not OK!" Gemma was able however to open the door from the outside and not wanting to risk closing the door again, Amber stood guard and laughed in relief while Gemma went.
b) While Gemma may have had ordering success at the Irish Pub, when she asked about the WC, the waiter gestured a circuitous route which included multiple turns and which was both up and down some stairs. He then said something in Russian and made a symbol with his fingers that we since learnt meant the hash-key, but Gemma at the time had no idea. She set off to investigate and after eventually reaching the toilet she saw both a male and female cubicle that you accessed via a keypad. She immediately understood what the man had been trying to communicate, however due to her not being able to speak Russian, she had no idea what the code was. Determined to enter however, she waited until a lady emerged from the male toilet and was able to stop the door from closing before she slipped in. To her alarm however, when the door shut, she noticed the same keypad on the inside of the cubicle and immediately knew that not only would Gareth never find the toilet area, he would also never presume to look in the male cubicle. She sat down to ponder her options, and while on the toilet, she noticed in true James Bond style that the hash-key was well worn and hoped that this was the exit button. It was utter relief when after a brief pause, the door popped open and she was able to return to Gareth shaken, not stirred.
c) After Amber and David's Segway tour we stopped at a cafe and Amber, David and Gemma ordered both large cappuccinos and large bottles of peach juice. Before leaving the cafe, we all visited the WC and then walked to the metro station. While on the long escalator to the platform, Amber reflected to David that she needed to use the toilet again. He also felt the urge and we were surprised given that only ten minutes had transpired from our previous visit. On board the train, Amber mentioned this to Gemma, who also felt the urgent need to go again. She asked Gareth if he needed to as well, and he indignantly replied, "I just went!" We concluded that the peach juice was a detox tonic and had a moderate diuretic effect. Arriving at the Peter and Paul Fortress we immediately found a WC only to realise that we needed 30 Ruble in order to access it. None of us had small change and therefore Amber and David decided to break a 1000 Ruble note by purchasing a bottle of water while Gemma, who was desperate, approached the cashier with a 500 and was pleased to receive change. After their Moscow experience, Amber and Gemma had decided to take turns when going to the toilet so as to avoid both being stuck in a dodgy cubicle. Due to their urgency however, they realised to their dismay that they were both going at the same time and hoped that the handles were operational.
4. Russian signage
We think that in the last twelve months, signposting in Russia has greatly improved for tourists due to the FIFA World Cup. Most signs have English translations underneath the Russian symbols which has really helped us navigate metro stations and find where we are on maps. On multiple occasions however we have noticed that the Russians help to a point and then abandon you at a critical moment.
The best example of this was when we exited they VDNKh metro station in Moscow and walked in the clearly signposted direction of the Cosmonautics Museum and monument which was massive. Approaching the monument, it was unclear where the entry to the museum was. Ascending the structure we took a punt and set off in one direction only to find no indication of where to enter. Amber approached a stern looking security guard who gestured in the opposite direction and pointed down. Interestingly when we exited from the museum, we walked around to the opposite side of the monument to find multiple signs with arrows pointing to the entry.
5. Entertainment
In Saint Petersburg we have attended two performances at the Mariinsky, one at the new concert hall and the other at the old theatre. Both times we have experienced chaos when trying to locate our reserved seats.
a) Arriving 5 minutes late for a piano recital, we expected to be asked to wait in the wing until an appropriate time to take our seats. Instead, we were brought straight in and the usher gestured in the general direction of our seats, two of which were occupied. Without asking the couple to move, the usher abandoned us to stand in confusion on the side of the balcony. Within minutes, more people were allowed in to our section and almost all vacant seats were immediately taken. Confident that the couple was in our allocated seats, Amber approached them at the end of the first piece and showed them her ticket. They responded by saying that they had been told it was 'free seating'. Upset, but realising that her seat was about to be taken by another random, Amber sat while Gemma leaned against the wall and David perched on the steps next to his seat. Throughout the first half, at least 30 more people entered the balcony and crowded around the door. Gemma felt as though she was on a metro, while during the intensely dramatic Chopin piece, Amber was angrily contemplating how to demand a refund. At the intermission, the French couple who were in our seats explained in perfect English that due to traffic issues, many people were late and were allowed to stand in the balcony until the interval. Unfortunately however, those people did not stand, and instead felt entitled to sit in any of the vacant seats, including ours. The people around us in the second half seemed entirely different to those who were seated in the first. Clearly, everyone located their actual seats meaning that people who were actually allocated to the balcony were able to sit down.
b) Determined to avoid a repeat of this chaos at the ballet, Amber and David arrived with plenty of time to locate their seats. There was a distinct lack of any signage above the doors to access our balcony and there were no ushers to help find our seats. Amber approached a woman selling programs and asked for help. The woman said something that Amber interpreted as meaning to go two doors down, and gestured to the right. Entering through this door, they discovered that there were no numbers to indicate the rows and therefore had no idea where to sit. Amber returned to the program lady who this time came in to the balcony and pointed to the third row and our seats, which were once again, occupied. Confident that we were correct, we argued with the family of three who shuffled down the bench, allowing us to take our seats. Suspicious that they were knowingly in the wrong row, when they were approached from the other side by a different woman and proceeded to argue with her, David demanded to see their ticket which indicated that they were meant to be in row 5. Begrudgingly, they got up and had to ask people who were seated in their seats to move as well. Similar to the previous night, there was a mass shuffle of seats at the first interval when people actually took their allocated seats.
The lack of organisation at such premier venues has been genuinely shocking.
Overall, these experiences have proved both frustrating and amusing but have not detracted at all from our time in Russia. We plan to return and will be armed with these experiences for our future interactions.
- comments
Althea Halliday Brilliant! Some fascinating observations and some wonderfully humorous (after the event) yarns. My chest tightened a little while reading the toilet episodes (as you would no doubt understand), and I couldn't help thinking that it was lucky that Gemma recognised a set of shoes, and very fortunate that James Bond came in handy. These are the sorts of stories that can be told and retold, and we will laugh every time. Are you playing Scrabble on the train? If you are, look out for words that start with 'w'!
Bev Oh dear! How will I go when I am on my own?