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So I realise that my last blog was rather depressing and may have caused a few people to worry, but I want to assure you all that I am okay. What I went through was normal and happens to most missionaries (if it doesn't normally something isn't quite right). Yes it was hard, but through it I drew closer to God, questioned him a lot about why I am here, but sought his comfort in it all. I still miss England, I'm going to, I think this is normal to, but I'm determined to continue on living in Colombia until my flight home. I don't know why God told me to come, but He did, so I'm just going to have to stick it out, however tough it is.
So I did the second talk at the other violence conversation (motives for violence and a bit on forgiveness and reconciliation) and sadly there were only two other people there that we didn't know, but you never know what they might take from away. I spoke much better, slower and with more intonation, as I had been given some advice from Oscar. When he gave me this advice the Monday before, I was a bit put out and said that if this was in English I wouldn't need notes, only my PowerPoint, but that because it was in Spanish I had so many things to think about all at the same time. Then the word 'humility' came into my head and I quickly realised that I'm not in England and this talk wasn't in English so I couldn't do it how I used to. In fact I can't do many things how I used to and I need to ask for more help, which believe it or not, is okay to do. But, this is something I've never been very good at. The fact that Oscar gave me the advice, made me think that he knew I had the ability to improve and also that he felt able to give me the advice. I took the advice and I used it, and I enjoyed the talk much more and I think it came across better to.
Lately I've been asking God a bit about why my life is so quiet here in comparison to my life in England. At first I thought it was because He wanted me to rest and have some time out from my nonstop life that I was leading. I still feel that a bit, but also I feel God is telling me that He wants me to just be with Him, rather than do do do. This is something that it says in the Bible, but something I suppose I've never really taken much notice off, but here I don't have much of a choice. I think this time that I have is precious and I get to spend it how I want, but I believe that God wants me to spend it with him, so I am now in a process of thinking how I can do this effectively and how I can use my time more wisely.
I recently went to a college in a part of Bogota called Usme, which is in the south and up in the mountains. I have been to this part before but didn't realise it! I went when I visited the children's foundation where they teach the children instruments (see blog post a few back). I went to the college because a friend of mine is a Music teacher there and he is friends with one of the English teachers, so I was asked to do a favour. I prepared a presentation on England and why I was in Colombia and then spoke to the students, aged 16-18 about England. I told them about the seasons (as these don't exist in Bogota), British food (with photos!), sports and then dancing (morris and the maypole). They seemed to really enjoy it. I spoke in English, but with Spanish to, as their level of English was quite low. Afterwards they had the chance to ask me questions and were encouraged to ask them, as it was part of an evaluation the teacher was doing. Some of the questions were a bit strange and I think there were some translation issues, for example one girl asked me how often I walked nude in the street and how often I ate dog meat! I had to quietly explain that I didn't walk nude in the street and I've never eaten dog meant. Some questions made me think before I answered and one question in particular made me continue to think a few days later. This question was what animal do you identify yourself with? I said a cat because I like to eat and sleep, but the more I thought about it the more things I began to realise I share with a cat. I like to be independent and come and go as I please, like most cats, especially those in England who have access to a cat flap. I like affection but it is normally on my terms and I don't like too much affection especially when I'm not in the mood to have a cuddle and I normally break off the affection first. I like to explore my surroundings but I also like the comfort of having a home and a place to come back to. I quite like my own space, but I also enjoy the company of others, even if it's just watching a film and not talking, being in the presence of others brings me comfort. I like to play (not with string), and have fun, mess around, and be active. The one thing I don't do is purr!
Anyway back to the college. After the lesson I ate lunch with my friend and the teacher and then the teacher showed me the rest of the college. It's big and has stunning views with fresh air away from the pollution of Bogota. Two things struck me the most about seeing this college. Number 1, the teachers didn't dress particularly smart and one teacher to be honest looked a mess. Second, the teacher I was with greeted some of the children with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, she was allowed to comfort a crying student and she seemed to receive a lot of respect from the students. I thought that if this was England, sadly that teacher would be done for mal practice and malicious behaviour. It made me think what a sad place we live in, where friendliness can be misinterpreted as grooming and behaviour with intent. I was very much the centre of attention with the students, but most of whom were too scared to say anything in English. One boy asked if I was a Gringa (an American) and I quickly informed him that no I wasn't, I was from England and we are very different! I also saw two boys with lighter hair and beautiful blue eyes. This is rare in Bogota, but there is a region of Colombia where the people have lighter hair and blue eyes. Anyway I was rather struck and caught off guard seeing these piercing blue eyes, as I'm so used to seeing brown eyes now that other coloured eyes confuse me a bit! The day was good, but was long and I got home and just crashed out.
In the Bible study group at the National University we are studying John and last week we looked at John 5:18-29. What struck me the most is that Jesus says "Very truly I tell you, the son can do nothing by himself; he can only do what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the son also does" (verse 19). This verse made me think about who my examples are in my life; my parents, siblings, friends, etc. As a child it's your parents, normally, as you grow up maybe it's your friends, but when you become a Christian, when you have a relationship with God, it is Him who becomes our example (or should be our example). I admit that I don't always seek Him and I ask my friends advice first, I ask my parents, I think about what I did in the past. This passage is saying that God should be our example, and we should do what God does. It was good to have a think about this because in England it was easier for me to seek advice from friends and family and not turn to God. In Colombia however, asking advice isn't an easy thing due to the language barrier and I haven't had many situations where I've needed to. This has meant that I've turned to God and said, God what should I do? God has always given me the answer and then it's been up to me to make the decision whether or not to act on that advice or ignore it.
So what have I been up to, well on Sunday Jennifer's (Latin Link missionary)parents and her came to my church and afterwards they treated us, as well as Abi and Megan to lunch. We went to an area called Usaquen, which has an artisan market at the weekend and ate incredibly well. It was a lovely afternoon and we wandered through the market then later on treated ourselves to cake. Monday was a bank holiday so I watched my Colombian brothers play football and had a chat with my Colombian sister in law. I then went for a swim in the complex where they were playing. This is a club but for people who work at a normal level so it's not stupidly expensive. The club is huge with football pitches, tennis courts, a gym, 3 swimming pools (one is an Olympic one), dance studios, cafes, conference centres, and the list continues! The pool was lovely, and was split into lanes. It was quite quiet as well so I could swim at ease. I cycled to the complex and back again so about an hour in total, and later after lunch had a cheeky little lie down, as I was sleeeeeeeepy! I then relaxed for the evening. So in an attempt to not write too much I'm going to end with…I've booked flights to Medellin (14/06/14 until 25/06/2014), a part of Colombia further north and west, which has a warmer climate (cue smiley face) and I've dyed my hair black (cue green eyes slightly stronger).I'm going to Medellin for a holiday but also to meet the UCU team there and see Mark and Fiona the other missionaries with Latin Link. I'm pretty sure I could write more but I won't, I'll save that for the next one!
Love to read your messages and know how you all are so please keep in touch,
Lots of love
xxxx
- comments
vicki champion Bless you my darling xx
Hannah Love reading this... Laughed out loud on a number of occasions haha miss you ever such a lot xxxxxxx
Gill Swain You're an inspiration! S and I send love of course!! Gill xxxxxx
Frederick I hope you take this the best way possible: The title reminds me of my little nephew falling after running all around the house, getting up quickly, and saying -preempting my sister's worrying attendance to his possible pain,- "I'm okay! I'm okay!" We must be a bit like that to God's...little kids running around and falling so much...yet getting up again. I felt some sort of "pride" when he said that...perhaps God feels that for us, too.