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Location: Ubud
Cast: Everyone.....eventually.
Previously in Indonesian Adventures: Just arrived in Ubud in the rain during the late evening. Everyone is slightly aggressive towards one another and tired. Walking down a narrow, winding path. Which has a water feature running alongside it. But in the darkness, we're unable to tell its dimensions.
Faced with a large figure sporting only a nappy, made from what looks like a bed sheet, we're stunned at what is going to be our home for the night. Big Dude, the owner of the inn and has very little on, in the way of clothes. I'm disturbed if not a little amused by the scenario. Don't get me wrong, I am completely knackered at this point and ready to kill someone in hope of regaining some patience! Fed up and exhausted we agree to stay here for the night. On closer inspection later on that evening, after returning from a misguided tour of the wet darken Ubud on a mission to get food for Shannon and Claire, we realise perhaps this wasn't such a good idea. But low and behold Wayan was still lingering in the shadows. Still to this day I fail to see the logic of annoying people so that they despise you a little bit. What do I know? I'm not a business woman!
On arrival to the inn, managing to avoid falling into the stream, we are shocked. This place is awful. The bed sheets had a slightly waxy grime to them....the bathroom...well, I don't know much about insects but I am pretty sure there were some kind of egg things multiplying in the corner of the bath tub. Needless to say, I didn't have a shower. Nor did I undress that night. Nor did I sleep underneath the sheets. Why? Well, Shannon lifted up her first layer of sheets and was greeted with small droppings. Imagination being a great skill of ours (not that you need to have imagination to think what we thought at this point in time) we assumed that it was probably the excrement of some kind of rodent....it was a rather difficult night's sleep. Laughing nervously kept us awake for far too long...thanks Big Dude.
Big Dude may not know how to keep his rooms faeces free, but he can cook a pancake. Yes, that's right. We dared to have the breakfast he made in the morning. Luckily, didn't get to see the kitchen! Despite his [Big Dude's] nappy fashion he was really nice and helpful. But 1 night was more than enough.
Today's adventures consisted of White water rafting and elephant riding/trekking. The white water rafting turned out to be more like a gentle paddle on a gentle river with a few hiccup bashes from time to time. Our instructor, Newman, was funny as hell. He had an insane laugh (a common trait with Balinese men it seems) and was a welcome delight after an intense previous night with a native. During the ride, we bumped into a bunch of Taiwanians (?) whose boat was sinking, literally. Nice people and we saw it as an opportunity to seek information about teaching English in their country. Make every meeting count! The walk back up the hill proceeding the rafting was the complete opposite to Newman. A very unwelcomed occasion that was ended superbly when an instructor decided to make monkey noises. So, naturally I quizzed whether or not he could climb a very large tree to grab a coconut.....10 seconds later he's up there with a coconut in his mouth!? Brilliant. He squealed all the way down. No shoes and 5 metres of tree bark to slide down is going to hurt a little bit isn't it?! After a short drive down to the bottom of the hill, through luscious greenery in every direction, we arrive at the elephant place.
Starting now, to feel a little concerned about it now. They're pretty big and the seats that we have to sit on? Well, they just don't look very sturdy if I am totally honest! All the same, I get up there with my Bali outfit on (the T-Shirt, green CRAZY short/ hot pants), and tell myself "its ok. I'm brave and what's the worst that could happen?" I'll answer that one. I could fall off at a really crucial moment and the crazy heavy elephant tramples me to death. Alternatively, when our greedy elephant, whose name I believe to be Dandy, is reaching over the side of a very high mountain to grab a snack and I can feel myself slipping in my chair thing...I feel a little nervous. It was good though. I found it fascinating how Dandy felt. Both his skin and how he moved. Very slow and up and down. Every step was felt. His skin was rough and tough as they say. And, the hairs that covered his back were wiry and uncanny. Our elephant handler told us all sorts about their work and prevention/rescuing etc. He also made Jennifer and I, whilst smoking a fag, a ring made from a single elephant tails hair. Amazing. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced it. I am hoping that that is the case and that I haven't lost it....it'll turn up...Sweaty fingers and elephant hair just doesn't mix. After the tour around their centre or whatever they call it, we each individually rode the elephants. Not on the seat but on the base of his neck. Terrified is a word I think would best describe how I was feeling at that moment in time. I'm glad I did it. I most probably wouldn't do it again....well, maybe. Something about the essence of risk, danger and freedom makes it appealing.
Last part of that particular adventure was a feast. An Indonesian feast is a feast you'll remember for a long time. I know I will. And, I am pretty sure that the others will too. The menu is always just spectacular....good times.
A small detour to traditional material printing venue lets us see how they design, print and make Balinese fabric. It was interesting, I would have liked to have been a little less tired to fully appreciate it though. Known as the 'Batik Process'.
Drive back to Ubud with Wayan; our driver and pest. Here, we depart him happily. Meet up with the others again who had just arrived from Kuta we allow Kevin to "deal" with the situation. i.e Wayan. He started the deal he can finish it. Tonight, thank goodness, we have a nice inn/hotel. There is no dark running stream that sends shivers down your spine when you pass it. There are no droppings in the bed. No eggs in the shower. It has a pool and it is in a location that doesn't make you wonder why you are there?! It's good.
Later that evening we go for drinks and the incident happens.....too many cocktails and stuff goes down...mainly Jennifer! Things seemed to close relatively early in Ubud for some reason. It is one of the bigger cities but still.....I think it is targeted for the older generation. Lots of shops and is generally really pleasant. So, Jennifer and I end up in a cocktail bar at some point but decide that we should head back to the inn to have an inn party. Of course this means purchasing some alcoholic beverages in order for the party to happen! Step one complete. Jen is happily thinking out loud, despite the drizzling rain, and I'm smiling because I am on holiday, then BAM! She's down! SMASH! CLANK! OOH! Jen just slipped on the curb and broke the bottles. A moment later we realise the reason her wrist is hurting is in fact due to the slits on her wrist! Oh goodness! Pounding over is Shannon and Kevin. Equally intoxicated, and on a mission like Jen and myself (the booze run.) Bar tenders all over Bali have several jobs. One is to serve drinks and most commonly their other job is as a guide or taxi. So, here 2 scooter taxi men rush out of a bar and take Jen and I to a clinic. Dripping with blood on her arm, all I can see on the scooter in front of me is a swaying Jen. Obviously, the drunken drama queen that I am, I am bawling. Saying to my taxi man, "Do you think she'll die? She shouldn't be swaying like that? She's going to fall off!"Crikey! Clinic time was fun time though regardless of why we were there. But only looking back on it now. Shannon and Kevin arrived immediately after we had. Shannon wanted to play nurse and Kevin was a sympathetic friend. It was the Bintang on the table, in the doctor's room where he was stitching Jen's arm that makes me laugh the most. And, the image of Shannon going into the doctor's cabinet to find plasters unstopped or questioned by anyone. Something tells me this isn't the first time this kind of nonsense has happened in this clinic!
In Ubud, there is a monkey forest which I checked out the following day. Had a few falling outs with the locals [the monkeys.] The little b******s grabbed my bananas out of my hands and then another one grabbed my water bottle! Wasn't happy about that! The forest was beautiful though. In Bali they have many trees that have streams of old, twisted branches hanging down for metres and metres. Reminds me of the wise old willow tree from Disney's Pocahontas...but it's not the same type...therefore, a terrible comparison.
We went to see another traditional Balinese fire dance. It was really impressive but I don't think anything could top the performance in Uluwatu. The fire came a little too close for my liking at various points during the performance. I feared that I too would have to go to the clinic. Only, I would be a burns victim! No thanks.
The next day, Shannon, Kevin and I went on a bike ride. A company took us to the top (ish) of a hill. The view was of Mt. Batur, a dormant volcano. Well, semi, it last erupted in 1996 (?) I think and so that would mean it is still active I guess. Anyway, we had breakfast overlooking the volcano and the small crater that it had created many years ago. A stunning view of Lake Batur beside it really did make the pancakes and fruit taste that much sweeter. However, the 3 of us were slightly confused as we had expected to actually cycled down from the top f the volcano, not see it from a distant. But it was still nice to see.
The tour took us to a plantation where our guide, another Wayan, drowned us with information that stayed no longer than about 5 minutes in my head. Constant nodding and "umm yeah" kept him amused. A particular favourite quote by him was his comparison of a Balinese man and chilis: "chilis; small and hot, like Balinese men." Consecutively followed by his cackle! A few other stops on the way allowed us to step into the rice paddies with some women that quite clearly thought we were obnoxious tourists. We were tourists but not obnoxious. Although, it has to be said, the Bali Twins (as Kevin nicknamed us-Shannon and I) wearing "the" t shirts probably did give the impression of strange people! Shortly after, we visited a school. We didn't go inside, instead we pottered outside peeking into the windows. We didn't stay long.
We also visited a family compound. This isn't as bad as it sounds. I saw no murders or ill treatment of individuals. A family compound is the name that they give an area where people live. In the compounds there are about 4 different families. They live in squalor but were friendly enough. Honestly, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I felt as though we had invaded their private space. We had invaded. We learnt all sorts of information about compounds and how it all generally works. In the back of the compounds they have workshops where they build goods to sell. Such as baskets, ceilings and walls. Yes, ceilings and walls. All decorative. Bali is an artist's haven.
Biking was tough, my face heated up and I was more beetroot than ever! So glad when it ended and we could go for yet another delicious feast! Best feast in Indonesia that I had throughout the entire trip...so good. The scenery was awesome too.
Later that evening, we saw a shadow puppet show at a local hotel. Not meaning to blow my own trumpet or anything, but my shadow puppet was a hell of a lot better than his. An air of snobbery came over me that evening which isn't very nice of me, but it's just the way it went! A one man show is never a good idea. Especially, if you just find yourself bashing the cut outs against the screen in a manic depressive manner....strange.
In an air of disappointed and normal holiday mode Shannon and I decided to embrace the Bali experience to another level. The level being that of Alexandria White Wine. It's cheap, tastes like vinegar and is a little bit warm as they failed to refridgerate it. That's ok. Why? I hear you holler....because when you have the magic of a Bali cup nothing else matters. Nothing. On purchasing the Alexandria Wine, we suddenly realised "hey, there's no cups in this damn hotel. This simple will not do." Worry we did not though, for inside the local shop we scouted some fresh manufactured plastic art that was soon to be ours. Simple in a couple of moments- the Bali Cups. A decision had to be made which was much harder than you would have thought. 5 designs, which one to choose? Who knows?! I chose the fat surfer on a wave and Shannon chose the green cup with what I believe to be a fat guy near a temple. The fat guy was popular apparently!?
Arriving back at our balcony I can safely say that I felt amused, happy, and content and excited. Mainly associated with the new cups. I just knew that anything drank from it would taste divine no matter what it was. Knowing that I bought it in Bali (because I am pretty damn sure it wasn't made in Bali) and that it had a fat dude on it...brilliant! Happily sipping on the ole ye wine of oh yonder year (2007) and warm like piss, we knew this was the good stuff. A bottle down and the jokes about the Bali shirts came to life; big time. "Erin, I really think it would be a good idea if you washed your shirt? I mean you've been wearing it a lot." Thanks Shannon. Tonight was a lot of 'head back' moments. Fits of laughter was what the night consisted of and I apologise to anyone whom we may have disturbed. The truth I will never see those people and therefore I don't really care so much. Apology taken back! No matter how much I laughed through the washing of the Bali t shirt, I was crying inside the entire time. I mean give me a break...all that dirt? For nothing? You're having a laugh.....on my expense! It was hilarious. Absolute joy beamed from Shannon's face as she knew she was safe for one more day. Thinking, goodness I am lucky I don't have to be seen with Ms Grimy again.....Good times....watching the grime of Ubud drip away from the clothes and leave the residue on the floor.....where it belongs...........
One more sleep and we are out of Ubud....onto Amed!
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