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So it's 15 days until I leave. Now I'm majorly starting to freak out.
I feel angry with myself for not feeling excited because I've worked so hard for this and wanted it for so long. If anyone had told me a year ago I'd be doing this I honestly wouldn't have believed them. Now it's finally here all I feel is a sick, nervous worried feeling. I wish this feeling would go away and hopefully in time it will. I've always been a "worry head" (as my mum and dad like to call me!) and I can't seem to stop my mind from wondering what will happen when I leave- if I'll like it, how I'll find work, how people at home will be etc….
I wish I could be one of these people who just has the whole "take each day as it comes" attitude. Maybe after my trip I'll be one of those people.
I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster- one minute I feel excited, then sad, then nervous. I wish I could just be happy and excited. I don't want to look back on this in years to come and kick myself for not being excited but I guess you can't help how you feel.
I've also learnt that I need to do what's best for me. I've wanted this for so long and need to make sure I enjoy every second. If I don't like it, I'll come home. If I do then I have the option to stay there as long as I like (well until my visa runs out). I've learnt a lot over this past year- that you never know how things work out. If things are meant to be they will be.
I do feel worried about things changing so much at home while I'm away and coming back to things that won't be the same. I know I need to stop worrying about things like that though because I'll just be worrying the whole time and ruining it for myself by not enjoying it.
Hopefully my next blog will be a little more positive! :-/
- comments
Mike Davis Well my darlin you are there now! So have fun, and make lots of memories....after all that's why you've gone! Stay safe and stick together with your friends at all times. We love you so much. Mum Dad and Tom xxx
Patricia Cherry Now you have finally got there enjoy every minute and lots of photos please and don't do anything to worry your parents. xx