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Well, I've not quite left yet then. I have around 2 more days in Kunming before I go back to Simao to start saying my goodbyes. It is so very strange to think that within a month I will no longer be in this wonderful country. I can feel a natural ending coming, and the temptation of decent western food is great, but I have a distinct unwillingness to say goodbye. I remember when Romy was leaving Simao, and she ran around desperately taking photos and shopping and seeing people... I took the piss out of her then, but I find myself doing the same thing. Clothes are being bought like they don't exist back home. I'm eating as much as I possibly can. The camara is always to hand, though it keeps running out of batteries. Even the thought of making my last bus trip to Simao (something I never particularly enjoyed) makes me well up. And the worst thing is, leaving is all I can think about. I can't wait to tell everyone my stories from my time in China, tell you all about how wonderful and simultaneously awful this country is, tell you about the things I've seen, the people I've met, the Chinglish... But ultimately I know that I can't carry on my China life back in England.
Kunming has been such a different experience to Simao. With a bigger city you see more things, and more things surprise you.. but as you get surprised more regularly you slowly get deadened to it. It will be good to be home just so that I can reclaim my Western sensibilities, so that I can see a man be kicked to the ground and be shocked, and do something about it. My student in Simao was talking to me the other day, and said that after a month and a half of studying at university I must be a "Chinese" now. It couldn't be further from the truth. I have lived very much like a Westerner here, like a uni student would. I hang out with my friends, we watch DVDs, put the world to rights.. the main difference is that I am in contact with people from such different backgrounds, different countries. Only when you are living in a country with such a small western population could some of your best friends be teachers, around 10-20 years older than you, with entirely different upbringings and experiences. I think it is one of my favourite things, not just meeting the Chinese people here, but meeting the foreigners that chose to live here.
Right now I'm in one of the scummier 网吧 near my second home in Kunming, Niko and Ed's house. It's going to be sad to leave it behind, but I'm definately excited to go home to Simao. Whether it's called Puer now or not, Simao will always be my second home, it's where all my friends are, and all my happiest memories of the last 7 months. I'm going back to my actual apartment now, about a 30 minute journey across town, to start to pack and try to finish the scarf that I'm knitting.
I will see you all soon. Love as always, Em xxx
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