Bangkok

The first thing that hits you when you land in Bangkok is the heat and straight after that, the smell.Bangkok has a very strong aroma - there's a mixture of spices, fish, road side kebabs, pollution and raw sewage - and you never know what you're going to get a nostril full of next.

On the flight over, we decided that over the next few months we wanted to experience new cultures, do things we would otherwise never have the chance to do again, make the most of each day by getting up early, get fit/lose the bellies and try not to waste too much money on beer. How true this will be; only time will tell...

Khao San Road

Khao San Road is a vibrant hub of backpacker activity in Bangkok and glows bright with neon signs for B&BS, guesthouses and bars.Unfortunately everywhere on the street are touts, hawkers, hookers, ladyboys, and cheap stalls selling fake designer goods. After dodging many "you want ping pong show? Veeeery sexy"; "what's the crack?"; "you want tuk tuk ride? Me take you anywhere you wanna go" we found a basic guesthouse which served as base camp for the first couple of days.After dropping the bags off we decided to head straight out and see what it was all about.

Our first port of call was Gulliver's:a theme bar which had the haunting familiarities of a Chicago rock cafe.We immediately failed our first ideal to experience new cultures, but after an 11 hour flight the Singha's were incredibly appealing and also going down far too easily, and before we knew it we were sat in another bar and then another.

We then bumped into a guy Matt had met a few times before in Thailand, Rodger, although Rodger had no recollection of ever meeting Matt before. This might have something to do with the fact Rodger has spent the best part of his life searching SE Asia for the next best magic mushroom. Rodger was a pretty interesting guy, he was: Canadian, in his mid-fifties, as white as a ghost and so spaced out he didn't really know what time of day it was or where he was. Rodger entertained us with tales of his colourful past, how the Dutch authorities were trying to decide whether to throw him in jail for growing magic mushrooms and why everyone should hate America. However, before we knew it, it was 3am and we were sat in Burger King surrounded by ladyboys.I'd just like to point out that they weren't with us, they just failed to dupe some poor, unsuspecting westerner into thinking they were more lady than boy. However, the stubble gave that clue away!Again, we couldn't believe we'd flown halfway around the world, only to have a Burger King!

Siam Paragon

Housekeeping woke us up at 2.30pm the next day. Yet again we failed to get off on the right foot. However, we quickly got our act together and headed out to see Bangkok. We asked a taxi driver to take us to a skytrain station, but this got lost in translation as he just dropped us off in the middle of nowhere and insisted we get out. We eventually found the station and moved onto Siam. Siam is more cosmopolitan and up-market than the other places we'd seen with shops like Hugo Boss, Jimmy Choo, D&G and other designer brands. On the ground floor of the mall was a massive aquarium which was pretty cool as we went on a glass bottom boat ride, saw some weird fish and collected our rather sought after drinking cups and bag. You can also swim with the sharks there: the ultimate test for the ultimate man it said. However, we already know we're ultimate men and don't need to swim with sharks to prove this point, so we left that one out.

A royal scam

The next day we woke up early and decided to go to the Grand Palace. As we arrived, some random guy ushered us down the street saying it was closed until later in the afternoon. Another random guy came out of nowhere and 'befriended' us. He told us that he would arrange a tuk tuk to take us to a number of temples in the vicinity and return in time for opening. Before we knew it, our tuk tuk driver was racing down the street. I think he was the boy racer of tuk tuk drivers as he would shout abuse at other tuk tuks, get upset if any over took him, weave perilously in and out of oncoming traffic and would only use the brake in an absolute emergency.We seriously feared for our lives throughout the entire journey!

First stop was the Golden Mount - a beautiful Buddhist temple with great views across Bangkok. The architecture inside was amazing and there was a very serene ambience to it. After this, he insisted we go to a gem shop and would not take no for an answer. He then took us to a silk shop. This went on for about two hours, alternating between silk and gem shops. We never got to see these other temples we were promised, we were just scammed into thinking he was a nice guy but he was clearly trying to get a cut of whatever we bought from the shops. This is a local scam, so if you ever go to Bangkok, watch out for this one. However, he did stop at one TAT where we booked our first night's accommodation in Koh Samui. Nok, the woman who booked our accommodation for us thought Drew was half Thai as he has "very small eyes". Yes thank you for pointing that one out Nok!

Grand Palace

Once we eventually made it back to the Grand Palace, we found out that there was a huge ceremony going on to mourn the King's sister on the anniversary of her death. Everyone was dressed in black and there was a certain 'buzz' about the place. The Palace itself is amazing - one of the most beautiful buildings we've ever seen - it makes Buckingham Palace look pretty standard compared to it. There is meticulous detail in every wall, picture ceiling, statue, etc. There is this one wall that goes on for ages with an amazing painting the entire length. However, at closer inspection there does seem to be a bit of monkey loving going on. There is also a beautiful temple inside, where Matt was able to sneakily take a photo of - photos aren't permitted inside. Unfortunately only Thai's were allowed in a closed off area to see the Kings sister/ceremony. Despite looking half-Thai, Drew was unable to snake it past the security guards. It was disappointing not to see the ceremony but we were still in awe of such a spectacular building, so we didn't mind that much.

We have now left Bangkok and are currently in Koh Samui, and I cannot tell you how good it is to leave the hustle and bustle of Bangkok behind and relax on the beach. Let the tanning commence!

(As we write this, there is a tropical thunderstorm occurring above our heads. This may scupper our plans to become brown and tanned in the most efficient and speedy way possible).