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April fool's Day! No joking around, today I began my three week Asian adventure. A long overdue holiday if you ask me. I started the day with the traditional (it's not really tradition) bowl of Froot Loops and one of the last chocolate fondants I made a couple of days prior. The morning was off a sweet start and I could feel the sugar trembles beginning. I pack my final things and off to the airport I go thanks to Sam Stra for Getz-ing (she drives a Hyundai Getz) me to the airport on time, even after taking a wrong turn.
I decided to spoil myself a little on this trip by booking the Air Asia X premium seats, or as I like to call them "Poor man's business class". For someone who struggles to get any sleep on a plane they're totally worth it. Anyway, checking in I make a B-line for the premium express check-in counter only to be stuck behind three men with oversized luggage and only one check-in counter. I wait twenty minutes whilst watching the economy passengers pass me by before giving up in frustration and joining them. I'm once again a man of the people. The lady who checks me in is lovely. She scampers off to get me a ticket for express security clearance, I efficiently fill out my departure card for customs and we say goodbye. Now the express line for security clearance was hardly express. I managed to get to a passport scanner quickly but then I quickly re-joined the masses for body scanning, probing and general groping. It was after ten so I was open to the idea of a fondle all in the name of national security.
I make my way to my departure gate only to find the flight delayed for what turns out to be over an hour. I happened to be dropping some eaves and learnt that it was due to engineering concerns. Better they're discovered on the ground than in the air. For most of this hour-long delay there are passengers lined up to board the plane. I appreciate their enthusiasm but seriously, they have no chill. They're all seated at the back of the plane and I've got the golden ticket to get on board first. The call for golden tickets is made, the people with no chill watch as I saunter by (I don't saunter btw). I got lucky with my seat selection as no one was seated next to me. My bits and pieces go on to seat 1J and I make myself at home for the next eight or so hours. I get my aerosexual on as we taxi by planes. Some B77W's, a B778, watch a Qantas B744 take off. Bliss. The flight was uneventful so I'll fast forward eight hours.
Arrival in Kuala Lumpur was smooth and the taxi to the terminal was long. We dock at the new KLIA2 terminal and I go exploring. There's a food court and free Wi-Fi which I put good use. I got excited when I saw Kaya toast and soft boiled egg on offer which I've not had since Singapore in 2014. It's the simple things really. I kill two hours in the terminal, the aerosexualness at KLIA2 is rather dull, clear security for my next flight to Colombo and off I go again.
As we're coming in to land at Colombo the cute guy across the aisle asks me for a pen to complete his arrival and immigration card. I happily oblige, manage to break my tired resting b**** face momentarily and hand him my pen. It's kismet. Naturally don't talk to him and we go our separate ways. Flirting 101. And people wonder why I'm single.
Clear all the usual checks like immigration quickly and I spend ten minutes watch the baggage carousel not bring my bag. I'm glad it was marked as "Priority" but I'm in no rush. I wearily seek out a taxi to get me to my hotel knowing only the name of the establishment. Thankfully the taxi booking counter knows of it the lady takes care of the arrangements. The taxi driver however does not know the establishment nor where it is exactly. I manage to find the address but he doesn't know the address. We get there in the end only to discover the hotel I've booked has closed down for apparent renovations with no notice other than lights out and a sign on the door. This hotel is also the meeting point for my tour starting the next day and the tour company hasn't advised of the closure either. My panic remains internal and the taxi driver helps me find another hotel for the night. Good man. I gave him a tip. I inspect the hotel room and it's reasonable. There was a cockroach the size a kitten in the bathroom which gave me anxiety but I was tired and desperate at this point. I name the cockroach "Steve" and we do a deal. He gets the bathroom for the next six hours while I sleep and he can have the humid bathroom. It's a gentleman's agreement and we keep to the arrangement
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Karly I hope Steve kept to the agreement and you still have both your ear lobes. Happy travels Dean!