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We touched down to leaden grey skies and tarmac at Hanoi. Despite being dry season it was cool and wet. After waiting for ages to pick up our bags and go through immigration we went to meet our pre-arranged taxi to get to our guesthouse. There are numerous warnings in the Lonely Planet about getting airport taxis with dodgy meters or simply taking you to the wrong hotel to try and get a commission, so we weren't taking any chances. Except our driver wasn't there waiting for us. After several phone calls to the guesthouse it transpired another guest had the surname 'Roberts' and had taken the first driver, odd.
Hanoi seemed frantic after the leisurely pace of Vientiane. There are scooters everywhere (2.5 million in the city apparently) and the driving is crazy. There are seemingly no rules of the road. Junctions are an anxiety-inducing free for all, each driver modifying their speed to try and squeeze through gaps in the oncoming traffic, driving the wrong way down main roads or taking to the pavement to execute turns. Amongst the madness school girls on bicycles innocently peddle home, amazingly unharmed.
We reached our guesthouse in Hanoi's Old Quarter, a close packed district of shophouses and traditions that have changed little despite the tourism. Silver street, bamboo street, flower street names signified the shops to be found on each road. The guesthouse was in a renovated four storey building and the room was very comfortable, with a balcony overlooking the bustle.
We had a walk round to find dinner. Our first challenge was to safely cross a road. This is no mean feat in Vietnam, and a page in the guidebook was dedicated to it. Essentially there are no traffic lights or pedestrian crossings. The mopeds and cars are continuous except at the dead of night, so relying on European norms to cross a road would leave you stranded for hours waiting for a gap in the traffic that never comes. To help any future travellers, here are our rules for crossing roads in Vietnam:
1. There are no rules.
2. In case you think someone is going to obey the road signs, or not drive on the pavement or down the wrong side of the road, refer to rule number 1.
3. Wait at the side of the road, watching intently for the slightest gap in the traffic, this is your 'in'. Walk confidently, but very slowly in front of the oncoming traffic to cross the road.
4. Never stop walking and never run or make any sudden movements.
5. Try and make eye contact with the driver, this ensures you will spot those moped drivers that aren't looking at the road and are texting, stroking their dog on their lap or telling off the children on their lap whilst driving etc.
As you do this the mopeds will magically part around you like flowing water round a rock. They may even slow down momentarily, but they never stop unless certain they will crash into you. We saw three crashes (two moped vs moped and moped vs our tour bus) whilst in Vietnam but fortunately none serious. We had to jump clear of speeding mopeds quite a lot though.
For dinner we found a good noodle place and then had a beer at a street bar (60p a pint, not bad!). A few beers before bed turned out a good plan. Our balcony had a corrugated plastic sheet as a roof which made a terrible din at about 2am when it started to rain very hard, which only stopped just as we got up about 8 o'clock.
The plan today was to visit the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum. Ho Chi Minh was the leader of the Vietnamese revolution for independence against the French immediately after WWII. He then continued to lead the Vietminh against the US and Southern Vietnamese allies until his death in 1969, and is still a figurehead of the communist government in Vietnam. His embalmed body is interred at his mausoleum in Hanoi, but in a morbid twist (following the Russian example of Lenin) he is displayed in a glass coffin. Affectionately referred to as 'Uncle Ho', his body is on display 9 months of the year, but for the other 3 goes on holiday to Russia for a tidy up. He had just come back in time for our visit.
Vietnam is slightly communist, and roads aside they do love their rules. To get to the mausoleum therefore you cannot just walk across the large expanse of grass directly in front but spend 30 minutes walking around the outside of the compound, through several security posts, checking in any bags, then any cameras, then joining a queue and being told to take your hands out of your pockets before you finally get to go in. Inside you join the line of people and proceed slowly through in respectful silence (as requested by the many signs and armed guards) until you come to the room where Uncle Ho is having his long lie in. Each corner of his glass coffin has a guard dressed in a pure white uniform. Uncle Ho looks more like he may have come from Madam Tussauds, but you don't have any time to stop and look properly as you are hustled through and back out into the drizzle. You can also visit the humble looking house where he supposedly lived before visiting the Ho Chi Minh museum telling you a little bit about the Vietnam communist party and a lot about how much they dislike America. All this fun was housed in fairly grand buildings, but with a colour of what Dulux might label 'Communist-bloc grey'.
After this slightly surreal experience we thought it best to go see a more traditional sight and went to the Temple of Literature, one of the Orient's oldest universities. It is quite grand, with a large temple surrounded by 5 courtyards and some lotus flower ponds. The rain stayed off long enough for us to have a good poke around before lunch.
The afternoon, when not crossing roads, was not particularly exciting. We booked tickets (with difficulty due to an incredibly lazy and rude ticket booth attendant) to see the Water Puppet show, then spent some time looking at tours around Hanoi and to Halong Bay. We plumped for a visit to The Perfume Pagoda, Vietnam's most Holy pagoda, as a day trip and a two day trip to Halong Bay. The weather was set to stay drizzly so we didn't want to spend too much time and money visiting the coast.
That evening we plucked up the courage to try another Vietnamese institution, the street cafe. These cafes are open air eateries with simple but rapidly cooked food served to diners sat at plastic tables and stools. They are everywhere in Hanoi and serve cheap but tasty Vietnamese favourites, the most famous of which is Pho, or noodle soup. We found two promising cafes to try, and in an odd moment of solidarity with dogs, which Brenda despises, Brenda insisted we went to the cafe that didn't serve dog. Apart from getting beef (?) instead of the requested chicken the soup warmed us up nicely enough to have a beer too.
Rain again the next morning, but a little bit lighter than the day before. The Perfume Pagoda is the Holy of Holies, the Vatican of Vietnam. It is 90km from Hanoi and can only be reached by boat along the Perfume river. Groups are met at the pier and split into boats of 5 to 6 people, rowed by local women to the Pagoda. Instead of rowing sitting facing the rear of the boat, as we are accustomed to, the women sat facing the front, using the oars to pull the boat forwards rather than push. Asked why only women rowed, thinking it may be some holy tradition, our guide soon put us right. The women are less shy than the men and will ask for a bigger tip!
Other than the many temples and pagodas that are found in the area, the main draw is the scenery. It is like going to Halong Bay but inland, with dramatic karst stone mountains either side of the river. Even in the drizzle it was very impressive. The Perfume Pagoda is actually in a large limestone cave at the top of a small mountain. It would have been an hour walk but we cheated and took a cable car. In case you're wondering, Pagodas are where only Buddha is worshipped, whereas temples can be used to pray to Buddha or e.g. dead relatives, monks, whoever really. It was interesting, but not exactly amazing, though probably worth the boat ride there and back in the rain.
We got back to Hanoi just in time to get to the water puppet show. This is a tradition from the padi fields, where puppeteers move puppets around in a pool/flooded padi field in front of a screen. The puppets can be quite intricately carved and are used to portray everyday life scenes accompanied by traditional music. It was quite fun to watch though some did look a bit manic with their fixed grins and all.
The next day we set off to Halong Bay, one of the most visited natural wonders in the world and featured in the Bond film 'Tomorrow Never Dies'. Made up of a gigantic bay with karst rock formations and jungle-clad islands it is famous for stunning scenery. We were obviously keen to visit but a bit anxious as to the quality of the boats used on the overnight trips. We opted for a mid-range boat and hoped we had paid enough. When we were picked up by the tour company though we were quietly whispered to that we had to be upgraded as the mid-range boat was not full enough to sail, this was at no extra cost to us but we were asked not to tell the other passengers! So in the end we had a luxury ensuite cabin with a monsoon shower and a sea view, not bad at all.
The first day of the trip we sailed into Halong Bay from the utterly forgettable Halong City. First stop was a large limestone cave to see rock formations. Then we kayaked around a small fishing village before visiting an island with a lookout on the top. The timetable included swimming but we weren't up for it in the rain and the water didn't appear too clean either. The views were brilliant though. The evening we spent chatting to some Swedish backpackers we had met who were also upgraded. They said not many Swedes watch Wallander, and were surprised it was so famous in the UK, but not as surprised as us that they love watching Midsomer Murders! I'm quite happy with that swap. The second day was spent sailing further through the Bay and relaxing, playing cards and watching the scenery slip by the windows before returning to Hanoi. Whilst driving around the Old Quarter a moped drove straight into the front of the bus, though at such a low speed the only thing the driver hurt was his pride.
We were determined to head south the next day and escape the miserable weather. You can either take a long and uncomfortable overnight bus journey or take the night train. We went to the station to book our tickets, taking a number to wait our turn at the ticket booth. Very organised we thought. Wrong! Our number was 1282, the one on the screen was 1180, and there was not a hundred people waiting for the ticket booth. There was a tight scrum in front of the one we wanted though, with the Vietnamese 'queuing system' in full force. This is very fair, in that anyone can get to the front if they push hard enough. Bemused, we watched to see how the locals tackled it for a few minutes. Fortunately it died down a bit and I stood as close to the counter as I could whilst a man in front was being served. Not close enough, a woman snuck round the left side of me and tried leaning on the counter in front of me. Luckily her friend momentarily distracted her and I managed to lean acrobatically in front of her as she turned away. By balancing like this and almost putting my arm around the man in front I could sort of hold my position. I managed to get to the front and sort out our tickets, fending off another man trying to butt in half way through ordering. Our tickets were booked!
We had most of the next day still in Hanoi, as our train didn't leave until 7pm. We spent the time exploring around the Old Quarter some more, taking in the atmosphere. Hoan Kiem lake is next to the Quarter, and a temple on an island in the middle houses a stuffed giant tortoise. It also housed some annoying tour groups so we didn't stay too long. We also visited a market (where we saw another moped crash) which was chaotic but one of the best we had seen in Asia. Everything was transported on mopeds, including huge sacks of rice, spices, vegetables as well as big baskets of chickens and even pigs. Nuts.
Eventually evening came and it was time to leave. Getting on the train was pretty straightforward and we were in a reasonable enough 4 berth sleeper cabin with 2 Czechs. We looked out the window as we clattered out the packed streets of Hanoi toward the south.
Next up we visit Hue and Hoi An further down the East coast.
David and Brenda
xxx
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