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Two divorces and one fat chick nailed; not a bad night out.
We've been riding across the deserts for 6 days, and its been seriously f***ing hot... we're talking 48 degrees. Seriously, you can't imagine how much energy it takes to do a whole day in the sun in full bining gear on dead straight roads.
As an indication of how straight the roads are: I have cruise control on my bike, which means that I don't have to have my hands on the handle bars the whole time... so I didn't, I just sat there with my handfs on the tank... for TEN MILES. I only stopped because I got bored.
We spent a good night in Las Vegas Baby! We managed to bag a room at the MGM, pulling up out the front with our 3 heavily laden Harleys, bringing a touch of class to the place. (photos at http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/104094667716148238316/AcrossTheUSByHarley?authkey=Gv1sRgCNCOwOP3qpGlugE&feat=directlink )
Pretty quicky found the Coyotte Ugly Bar and it was cranking. It was also a bit wird though as you had everything form early 20's to grandma as its inside New York New York. Free shots for the chicks, blokes forced into games with the chicks... all a bit forced. Handsome Dave was chatting up a couple of Swedish laydees, but they way to you young for his age-class... they were probably late 30's.
The next morning involved a massiver hangover, followed by a typical Vegas buffet breakfast (6 rows of food) and then setting off into the searing heat.
We also went through what can only be described as The Wild West, epitomised by Oatman NM. It really is like going back in time. They really do have railings to tie your horse up to. There really are wild mules wandering around the streets. It was freaky.
So you can imagine our joy when we found a very happening Uni town of Flagstaff. We stayed, we drank, we partied, we caused havoc.
"You've got nice eyes".... not a bad opening line from a bird with the most massive t*** I have ever seen on a skinny body. Was all looking good. L:ittle were we to know.
The above bird, Jessica, was part of a group of 4: her, her boyfriend Doctor Dan, their next door neighbour Trucker Bob, and his daughter, Chubby Ashley. After the opening line Jessica comes around to our side of the bar and starts with the "you're so tall" routine, wanting to see the size of my hands compared to hers. Her boyfriend is somewhere in the vicinity. I say to her that if I do hold my hand up to hers it will get her in trouble, but she wants to anyway.
Meanwhile, Handsome Dave has his phone out and is swapping numbers with Chubby Ashley already. Trcker Bob is also watching his daughter fall iton the web of Handsome Dave.
It turns out it was Jessica's bday in 2 days time, so that called for shots, and then more shots, and then more shots. It got messy. As I'm standing at the bar with Jessica somehow it emerges in conversation that she's been in jail twice in the last 2 months. And she already has 4 kids... at 27. OK, we're clearly dealing with a wild woman.
"So, jail... talk me through that". Well, the first one was DUI so thats OK, but the second one, and I quote "I got a bit crazy at home after an all day drinking session and had an argument with Doctor Dan and started throwing stuff around" It turns out, Ashely told us, she threw a chair through a stained glass window. How did she end up in jail you ask.... Doctor Dan called the cops on her and had her arrested.
Happy times ahead for thoose two!
Doctor Dan dragged the crowd next door to a different bar as I don't think he liked the look of us blow-ins, but within 10 seconds Handsome Dave had a text from ChAshley wanting us to some around, and then Jessica appeared back at the bar we were at imploring us to come over. (I fouund out at this stage, with a direct question, that those babies were in fact a great set of airbags). She'd already got my email and phone number which Doctor Dan was none too pleased about.
We go next door and Scene two unfolds.
It turns out that Trucker Bob has lost a 9 yr old daughter to Leukemia 3 years ago, and Jessica had lost her disabled brother in July, and they both just fed sadness ioff each other until it turned into a full on bawling match in the middle of this jumping bar. They're hugging each other, bawling their eyes our, moaning, Doctor Dan is patting them... and we three are just sitting there looking around the room trying to figure out how to make an exit without seeming uncaring. So we didn't, we stayed and were very sympathetic while all the while giving each other looks of "what the f*** have we got into here"
ChAshely wanted to stay out, but Trucker Bob wanted her to go home, so Chashley had her mum call her dad and tell him to leave her out... which he very reluctantly did (ChAshley still lives at home... at 25). Divorce number 2 was about to happen when T-Bob got home.
Jessica was in such a state that Doctor Dan took her home, no doubt to have a very serious conversation the next day. Maybe it was he throwing the chairs that night? Do they take it in tiurns? Would she call the cops and have him arrested? So many unanswered questions....
Anyway, with Jess, DDan and T-Bob gone, that just left us three and ChAshley. This was only going one direction, so TedTed and I made our exit and left Handsome Dave to weave his magic.
Chashley got what she wanted.... in possibly the seediest motel in Flagstaff.
Picture this: two pissed horny people wandering from Motel to seedy motel at 2am looking for a room, but they're all booked out as its a long weekend. Eventually Dave finds a room at the Motel next to ours and gives ChAshley some of the Dave Digital.
Flagstaff, tick.
- comments
mattc priceless guys - its Adrian Mole meets - Old Skool ...I love living vicariously through you dudes ...keep the anecdotes coming
robbo Great reading lads - keep it up!
Grant Luvin it dude!! Keep it coming, I can see a book coming out of this!!