After recovering from my night shifts which was done by sleeping almost for 24 hours straight, I was back on the day shifts. However, I've decided this week to cut out the majority of medicine in my blog but in summary my week has included several motor vehicle, pedestrian vs car, stabbings and shootings. I've been asked to close wounds that would easily be a Plastic surgeons job back home. I've also made the mad dash to theatre with a patient after he couldn't maintain his blood pressure. Enough of that medicine bulls***. That is not what Electives are for.
I achieved watching 4 games of rugby in 36 hours. The first was Friday night at Ellis Park which is situated dangerously close to the infamous Hillbrow. Needless to say my sphincter was going twenty to the dozen for the walk from the taxi to the stadium. South Africans seem to have a habit of confusing the situation when trying to establish a transaction. At the ticket office I clearly asked for 2 persons for West Upper Stand. He replied 'west upper or lower east'
I again stated clearly 'I would like two tickets for west upper stand'
'West upper and lower east are same price'
Utter confusion I didn't know whether he was asking a question or making a pointless statement.
After watching the match we attempted to blend in with the locals in the stadium bar. This attempt to blend in was severely hampered by an Englishmans' compulsion to burst into song once a few pints have been consumed at a sports venue. Jerusalem, swing low sweet chariot and the rest of the classics were all sung in never-heard-before harmony.
I then spent the rest of the weekend in Pretoria travelling on Johannesburg's only public transport system the Gautrain. I have a lot of time for this brilliant piece of infrastructure. 30mins later I safely arrived in Pretoria and was eating a McDonald's to soak up some of the previous days drinks. My attempt to walk to the Stadium ended up being quite convoluted. A man tried to steal my non-existent watch off my wrist. Fooled him. We then inadvertently walked into Pretoria's equivalent of Hillbrow but I felt hard and came to no harm.
We arrived at a bar to watch the lions play Australia which was very nice with scantily clad girls serving brandy. I stuck to the cider as it was still midday.
We moved to the Stadium which had a very Afrikaans atmosphere. We all bought Springbok shirts so we fitted in with the locals which, in the end, worked to our disadvantage as we looked so convincingly Afrikaans they would speak to us in Afrikaans. The problem being you are unable to tell whether or not they are talking in a hard to understand accent or Afrikaans. So you are unable to ask them to speak English just incase they are and you look like an unworldly idiot.
We spent the evening in the hostel in Pretoria which had it's own bar and drunk barmaid which came up trumps as we had a skinful of drink to the point whereby we had to became the bartender because of her state. We were told to pick up the bar tab in the morning. Fear instantly fills the air until we are told to pay 45 rand (£3) each, which we were all more than happy to do.
One quick train journey back and I was back in the weird and quirky world of Johannesburg. Off on Safari Lads Trip next week. Hopefully the hospital will manage without me.