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In Florence- I am learning so much. This morning I woke up to Choony calling my name to wake me for breakfast. I threw on some clothes and headed down to see what this free meal was all about. It reminded me of something from a movie or university because I can't remember the last time I stayed in a dorm and received a free meal. Once we walked to the front, the man asked what number breakfast we wanted to order and Choony was set on number eight, scrambled eggs and bacon. The picture looked like a broke down version of Denny's so I went against her suggestion and ordered a croissant and yogurt. We ate our breakfast and drank our caffés in the dinner hall, discussing our plans for the day.
After breakfast we rushed up stairs and showered in time to reach the 10am city tour of Florence. As we walked Chonny asked me what I do for a living. I told her I was an Area Sales Manager for medical testing company. She had no idea what that meant in Korea. I told her I mentor sales reps and she still seemed puzzled. I realized that "rep" is a shortened word, so broke it down a step further only to discover she had no clue what my industry was and it didn't matter. You never really realize what matters until a moment like this. I go about my everyday. living and breathing work. Chonny in Korea doesn't even know what it means to be a sales rep. This was an eye opener to me. We have been getting to know each other for two days and work has never once come up in discussion. At home, it is all the time and is a huge part of my life. Here, it means nothing and even if it did- Choony wouldn't even know the magnitude of it because it's not a way of life for her. Lesson to me, don't take my job- any job too seriously. Don't let it define you because at the end of the day, does it really? To Choony, I was the outgoing American that got her to open up and have fun- not the Area Sales Manager from San Diego.
After stop two of the tour, I didn't think I could handle the over drawn out description of the burial grounds any longer. I was hung-over and tired. I turned to Choony, who seemed actively involved and broke the news. I asked her if she would be distraught if her little American friend drifted back to the hotel and relaxio. This was a term our Australian friends made up the night before. I just wasn't in the mood to hear anymore this early morning cemeteries and burial grounds. I wanted to explore the city and reflect. Choony, being the amazing person she was, handed me the peach she packed for both of us and asked if I wanted any more water. She is the type of person where once she meets you, she will give you the shirt off her back. I adore her for her qualities and even after I was being a spoiled American, she still offered her extra fruit in fear I would be hungry. I smiled and hugged her goodbye.
I wandered through the city and got lost. I had a map and instantly folded it up in my purse. Today was a day where I could finally be one with the city and have no worries. My pack was now locked in the room and I had not a worry in the world. I had not hotel to race to, or no train to concern myself with. I literally just had to lose myself in the streets of Florence and hopefully stumble across a good gelato. This was another moment I was truly looking forward to. People have asked me numerous times- why are you traveling alone? I knew the answer, but not truly until this moment. As I was walking through the streets, I was at a whole new level of peace. I wasn't thinking about work, about stress about anything at all- I was thinking about how fantastic it is to be in this beautiful world of Italy. I was thinking about how wonderful it is not to think, not to worry, not to contemplate a decision. It was a whole new way of thinking I was hoping to adopt and I had not even imagined what it would feel like until now. I realized, I was allowing my work to define me- and now, nothing defined me but walking down a brick street, smiling- eating my kiwi gelato. I know that sounds silly but if you experience it, you will know. Sometimes we take life entirely way too seriously and today I realized that when removed from all of it- it's pretty fantastic to just- walk and eat Italian ice cream.
I shopped around the streets and wound up back at the hostel later in the afternoon to meet up with Chonny. We caught up on our day and she opened up about her boyfriend. He is in the army and they don't get to see each other often. It's been over a year since she has seen him but she is very much in love. She asked me about my boyfriend and I told her I did not have one. She seemed confused and I explained that I was in love once but have yet to find what I was looking for. She seemed confused about this. I think in her culture, they meet and settle down fairly quickly. I explained to her that I have felt and experienced love but have spent the last year single, searching for what I truly want. She was intrigued and confused at the same time. I think she thought it is something that is easily found. I gave her the shortened version that basically, in my life- I have been blessed, I have lived, I have been in love and that I will love again.
Once we got to the room we had new guests that had checked into our rooms. They were also Korean and were very shy. I introduced myself and they told me their names. They were long and complicated and I'm sure by the look on my face that is why they told me their English versions- Kate and Shee. They said they spoke little English. I invited them to wine in the terrace with Chonny and I. They nodded their heads and we told them we would be venturing out to get food and meet them in the terrace in an hour.
As we were walking down the stairs Chonny turned to me and told me that in her country, Koreans are very shy with Americans. I was confused. She broke it down that basically, they learn English as their second language. She said that Koreans have a great deal of pride and that they don't like to speak unless it is perfect so would not want to feel like a fool if they did not sound proper enough. Choony told me this because when I asked the Korean girls if they spoke English, they blew it off. However, Chonny knew that they were very fluent and could speak my language but were entirely way too intimidated to speak in fear that I would judge them. This was crazy for me to comprehend. I wanted them to feel comfortable so when I saw them again- I would try to make them feel comfortable. Choony and I wandered the streets for a pasta shop to go. I told her while I was shopping that I would pretend I was a different nationality so that people wouldn't label me as an American. If you're walking through a crowd and you say, "Excuse me" they think- dumb American. If you're walking through the street and you say "Excusa Mui" they think- rude. But French. I would almost rather prefer rude French because they hold us at a higher regard then Americans. Chonny was laughing because she said her country makes fun of Japanese in the same exact manner. During the day, just for fun, I pretended I was anything but American. In shops sometimes I responded in Spanish and would say "Hola...cuanto, muy bien..gracias." Other times, in Italian, "Buongiorno...mi scusi... Ciao." Other times English "Hi. how are you?" It was all just a game to me of who I wanted to be in that moment. Spanish, Italian or English. I enjoyed it. Choony found this hilarious and adopted it as well. We went to pick up dinner and I ordered in Spanish. The server asked if I was Spanish and I responded "Si." Choony blew my cover and responded "My friend is from Spanish." We both laughed and I responded in French and then he asked me a French sentence that I could not recognize so said "No." No did not cut it so he said " You are American." Caught red handed.
We took our pasta back to the hostel and picked up a bottle of red wine to enjoy in the terrace. We toasted to our new friendship and Choony told me that she was glad she met me to get her out of the room. I was equally glad I met her and was having the best possible time in Florence due to her company. As I poured her a glass of wine she shared with me another secret of Korean culture. She held both hands around the glass as I poured her a glass. She told me that it is giving the person pouring the wine respect if you hold the glass with both hands anytime they refill your glass. I had never heard of this but thanked her for the advice. Shortly after, Kate and Shee came down to join us. We all sat around and ate pizza and I told them the new phrase Choony had taught me in Korean, it's pronounced "An nyung ha se yo" Which means "Hello, Nice to meet you" in Korean. As soon as Kate and Shee came down to the terrace I greeted them with this to warm them up to me. I wanted them to open up to speaking English. They laughed and applauded me for speaking Korean. I asked them several basic questions in English and they began answering. It was the coolest thing ever because earlier in the room when I asked them a question they would go through Choony to translate to me and now all of a sudden they were replying in perfect English. It was all just an intimidation factor and I had broke down that barrier. They had not met many Americans and had bad perception is all. We drank wine and Choony shared with them our stories of me pretending to be French and Spanish in the streets of Florence. They laughed their heads off and began to feel more open to participating in the conversation. Shee was still hesitant and asking Choony for translation at times, but I think she was just beginning to get more comfortable. This was an entirely different concept for me and intrigued me that it takes time to gauge a person to determine if you will speak their language. I poured the girls another glass of wine and noticed all three of them held the glass with both hands. I never would have noticed this without Choony. When they returned to the favor and poured my glass, I wrapped both my hands around the glass and Shee paused. She said in Korean something to Choony and they both smiled. I asked what was going on and Choony repeated in English back to Shee what Shee had said in Korean. "I Envy you." Confused, I asked again. Shee repeated " I Envy you."
Choony elaborated. Kate and Shee asked how I knew to grasp my wine glass when being poured wine. In Korea, it's a big respect thing. Choony told them that she showed me earlier and that I remembered so applied it with them. Shee turned to me and now spoke in perfect English, which she had yet to do at our dinner. She told me she was impressed with my desire to learn and envied me for wanting to know more about their culture. She told me that I had a admirable trait in life. This was another moment that hit me- here I was at a dinner with three women from Korea who had adopted me into their culture and their vacation. They were telling me that they were learning a gift from me when really, I was learning much much more from them. More then they could possibly imagine. I began to cry because it was much more emotion than I anticipated but brushed it off so that no one would see. It truly was a compliment and a life lesson Shee had given to me.
We talked more through dinner and about our travels. The girls wanted to know where I would be traveling tomorrow and I had no clue. I was leaving it up to the morning to decide if I would go to Sicily or Rome. I had an open ended agenda. When Choony went to get another bottle of wine, the guys next to our table began talking to us in Spanish so I replied acting Spanish. They quickly caught on that I was American but joined our conversation. They had been traveling from Mexico City. After that, the girls that were on our walking tour in the morning from Croatia came by our table, some Canadians and then a few guys from the U.K the night before joined. Our table became so big in terrace that we moved the table aside and formed one big circle of chairs under the canopy. We had nothing but bottles and bottles of wine to drink and everyone was entirely friendly. I proposed that we go around the circle and announce our name, where we are from and how long we're traveling. This went on for a while because there was over twenty people but it was quite fun and we all learned a lot about each other. From there the night got kind of fuzzy. We drank and talked about our countries and had another fine night in Florence.
Again, I feel very fortunate to say that I have had such an unbelievable experience here in Italy. Tomorrow I will decide a new city to travel to but I truly have enjoyed all that Florence has had to offer.
- comments
Dana Julie, I'm so happy u are having such a wonderful time and that you are able to keep us up to date with your blog! Stay safe!
Angela Julie- I feel like I know these wonderful Korean women just from your writing. Everything sounds so amazing and I am glad to hear that you are taking a step back and really engulfing yourself whole heartily into this trip! I am so happy to hear all this!!
Fal Julie - what a wonderful lesson! It made me smile :)
Michelle Julie - I am thoroughly enjoying your blogs! It's like being there with you. I really like hearing about your Korean friends. You made a very good point about not letting our jobs define who we are. So important to keep that in perspective! Happy Birthday from August 3rd in the US. LOL! Keep writing!
Hammy Two hands on the cup. Much Respect.... Much Love. I felt like I was kicking it in the circle with you. Well done.