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After 8 hours sleep in 3 days, and 3 flights later, Amelia and I were glad to be in Chiang Mai, Thailand. We were actually organised too. Accommodation was booked and for a mere 50 baht each (£1), we were taken directly to the guesthouse from the airport.
We were dropped at 'Gap's House', which didn't look too great, in fact we were worried by how rundown the place looked. But, we were soon relieved when we stepped in the room. It had air-con, it was clean, spacious, airy and had its own little balcony too. All for under a tenner!
Even though you can eat pretty much anything you like in Chiang Mai, from bangers and mash to chicken fajitas, there was no question in our minds what we'd be eating for lunch. We found a local authentic eatery just around the corner, and ate some delicious, much missed Thai noodle soup.
During the afternoon we made some enquiries into local activities. Trekking was the main interest, something that'd been recommended. After speaking to a few trekking companies, we found out all of them included elephant rides, which on closer inspection wasn't as good as it sounds. We would likely be put together with a mahout, on one elephant! And sat on big heavy howdah too! As we found out at the Elephant Conservation Centre in Laos, one person on the neck is ok, but any excess weight on its back can have irreversible affects on the elephant. With this in mind, we asked the travel agents if it was possible to do the trekking without the elephant rides, which it was. However, contrary to our thoughts, this would be far more expensive. It turned out it would be almost double the price! The cost of the trek was already expensive, so we had to be sensible and reluctantly opt out.
A few months ago I read an article called 'Thailand’s Mae Hong Son loop by motorbike' on Lonely Planet's website. It's a 'real deal' motorbike trip that covers a vast area of Northern Thailand. According to the article, it takes at least a week to do it properly. Amelia's experience on the Hai Van Pass in Vietnam only fed her enthusiasm for the tour too! With her excellent riding skills during that trip, I was sure she would be keen to have her own motorbike again. However, the article mentioned the use of manual motorbikes with a bit of power. With Amelia's experience on motorbikes being limited, she sensibly decided on being pillion and navigator.
After a slight detour through the old moated and now only partially walled 'old city', we found a recommended motorbike rental shop called 'Tony's Big Bikes'. As the name suggests they don't really deal with little scooters, they offer a rental service for decent sized motorbikes made for the sort of journey we had in mind. Two bikes caught my eye, both roughly the same rental cost, but both very different. One was an off-roader with all the extras including big knobbly tyres for proper off roading, the other was a standard road motorbike with plain road tyres. With these two options in mind, we went away to have a think.
Chiang Mai is known for having some fantastic night markets. So for dinner, we thought it'd be nice to eat at one of the stalls. Feeling a bit travel worn, we both fancied sitting down and having a nice Thai curry, unfortunately we were out of luck. None of the stalls had any table and chairs, and most just sold Pad Thai that looked like it'd been sat for a while.
Whilst looking around we munched down some bbq'd corn on the cob and looked at the numerous flower stalls. Whilst we were in Chiang Mai the Inthakin City Pillar festival was taking place. The festival gives people (mainly citizens) the opportunity to venerate the guardian spirits of the city. Offerings of flowers are made to the city pillar, as well as other Buddhist icons around Wat Chedi Luang (where the city pillar is located). A large celebration of dancing, musical performances and carnival games usually takes place. Unfortunately we didn't get to see any big celebrations, just the offerings of hundreds, if not thousands, of flowers (day and night).
Feeling very indecisive about what to eat for a substantial dinner, we eventually settled in a nice restaurant, just a short walk from the market. Amelia went local and ate Khao Soi (a spicy noodle curry served in Northern Thailand). I, being not as adventurous, had a favourite of mine, Pad Ka Prao Moo (spicy pork stir fry with Thai basil).
On our way back to the guesthouse, we stopped by a massage parlour for a relaxing thirty minute foot massage. The little Thai lady gave a funny look, and muttered something to her colleagues, when she saw the state of my scabby feet and ankles (most of which were the consequence of scratching at lots of mosquito bites!). Going by the look of her face, I thought she was going to refuse my custom! Amelia, along with the other masseuses found it highly amusing.
After some mango sticky rice for a street side dessert, we strolled back to our room on our soothed feet and went to bed. As much as we loved the Philippines, we've definitely missed Thailand!
A good eight hours or so sleep later, we awoke and lazily got ready for a day of exploring the temples of Chiang Mai. With this in mind a good hearty breakfast was needed. We both chose a very generous portion of pork rice soup (for just over 50p) at the eatery we found the day before.
During the morning, we visited three temples (Wat Phra Sing, Wat Chedi Luang and Wat Chiang Man) within the old city walls.
March through to June is considered hot season in Thailand, during which temperatures regularly reach over 40°C. So after a sweaty exploration of the temples, Amelia and I thought it was time for a break.
It was lunchtime, so we decided to go back to a place we'd seen barbecuing chicken skewers earlier on. The heat was zapping our appetites, so we agreed to just share some of their delicious chicken satay along with some sticky rice. It was just what we needed, but as we were leaving the eatery, a man selling coconut icecream caught my eye. I struggle to turn down anything coconut orientated, but who would turn it down for just 20 baht. The icecrram was very sweet, and more like slush, but it had the sugar kick we needed!
We spent some time cooling off in our nice air-conditioned room, before heading back out to explore another night market. This one was located outside the old city, but within walking distance from our guesthouse. The Saturday night market was located on Wualai Road.
The market was just under a kilometre long. One of the first stalls we stopped by was selling durian fruit. Durian is well known throughout South East Asia as the 'king of fruit' (perhaps due to number of people who absolutely adore it). It's quite a large spiny fruit, with a strong unpleasant smell (it's actually banned in a lot of hotels and guesthouses!). As the fruit was in season, and in abundance around Chiang Mai, we thought it was only right to taste what all the fuss was about. Once inside the armoured fruit, it reveals around 10 seeds the size of dates, each covered with a thick, custardy, off-white 'meat' – the only edible part of the fruit. Amelia had the first taste, her face told a thousand words - she didn't look too pleased. Then my turn, I thought the flesh looked and had a similar texture to a creamy brie. The taste was mildly sweet, and almondy, with a slight fermented taste. I actually quite enjoyed it, but I think Amelia was on the fence. Maybe we will have to try it again.
As we approached halfway, there was a mad rush with the market traders covering their stalls with polythene. The short interruption was a passing storm. We 'conveniently' sought shelter at a stall selling Thai sausages. Obviously we had to sample a few - they were tasty, but very herby and exceptionally garlicky.
Amelia managed to source a much needed replacement for her handbag of at least ten years - the strap had torn, which I'm sure could've been fixed, but when a new one is only a couple of quid, one (Amelia) could quite rightly argue - is there much point? Plus Amelia never needs much of an excuse to go shopping! To go with her newly acquired handbag, Amelia also found a quirky handmade elephant necklace. My only purchases were food and drink. I had a prawn Pad Thai followed by an apparent 'superfood'. It was a fruit called 'Gac', in juice form. Being bright orange and very exotic looking, I naively thought it'd be tasty and very sweet. It actually didn't have much of a taste and wasn't sweet at all. It's not something I'd necessarily have again, but as with all these 'super fruits' it's supposed to have many health benefits.
After our root around the market, Amelia and I flagged down a tuk tuk to take us five minutes down the road. We were taken to a place that looked pretty much like an abandoned warehouse. The warehouse was a makeshift stadium for 'Muay Thai'. Muay Thai is the national sport and cultural martial art of Thailand, it looks similar to kickboxing but shares few rules.
Amelia wasn't exactly keen on going, but the thought of missing an experience kept her by my side. The first fight of the night featured two young boys, that were no older than 12 years old! Understandably they didn't let them fight too long or aggressively. From then on, the age and aggression of the fighters increased - the average age was early to mid-twenties. The fourth fight was between two very aggressive looking ladies. And the fifth was named as a 'special' fight. Five men entered the ring - all blindfolded, which made for a very very bizarre fight! At times even the referee was getting bashed around! In total we were there two hours, and saw seven fights with three knockouts. We both enjoyed the Muay Thai experience, probably me more so, but Amelia appreciated the sport far more than she expected.
Just before we hit the sack that night, I noticed my foot had swollen and was starting to cause some quite severe discomfort under load. It looked as if a mosquito bite had become infected..
The next morning, I was pleased to awake and find my foot still attached to my leg. I'd taken an antibiotic just before bed which had clearly helped fight the infection. The swelling had reduced a little, but the main thing was it was a lot less painful to walk on, which meant we could get on with our day.
We went to the friendly local eatery for breakfast. The family who owned it now recognised us and knew what we'd be ordering.
After walking around, and testing out the two different bikes we had narrowed our choice down to, Amelia and I had decided the off-road style motorbike would be more appropriate for our longer journey. With its larger comfier seat and bigger luggage rack, it was definitely a more suitable choice than the sportier road motorbike.
We returned to Tony's Big Bikes and agreed to hire the CRF250, for at least ten days at a very reasonable cost. It was only slightly dearer than a Thai owned shop around the corner, but Tony's place had better gear and helmets (I chose the exact same helmet I have back home). In the end, it was an easy choice to make - it's better to be safe than sorry!
We meandered our way back through the old city looking in the many shops dotted along the way, before arriving at our local eatery for lunch. We ate their delicious spicy Pad Ka Prao with rice topped with a fried egg.
For the afternoon, Amelia suggested we use a recommendation she'd received from a friend of hers. This 'recommendation' was a massage from a convict at the local women's prison! Feeling a little apprehensive, I was dragged along to the prison.
When we arrived, to Amelia's disappointment and my relief, they didn't have any availability. However, they informed us of a massage centre down the road. The centre took newly released prisoners and gave them a much needed job, in the hope, with their newly acquired skills, to keep them from turning to crime in the future.
We both had a one hour Thai massage from two friendly petite Thai ladies. The massage turned out to be one of the best we've had!
Feeling very loose and eased after the manipulative Thai massage, we took a relaxed stroll back to our room, grabbing a healthy fruit shake (no added sugar for once) for a mere 30 baht on the way.
We'd heard the best night market in Chiang Mai was on the central street, running from west to east through the old city (every Sunday). The market was crammed with stalls, which stretched over a kilometre. The side streets veering off were also packed with market traders too! It was extremely busy for low season, we waddled our way through the crowds, seeing lots of different stalls along the way, from one off intricate handicrafts to a masses of temple trousers. During our 'walk' past the numerous stands, we stopped for a break to have some finger licking good enokitake mushrooms wrapped in bacon - they were barbecued on a skewer, with a delicious green chilli and garlic dipping sauce.
After filling our stomachs with more food at the end of the market, we slowly made our way back up the other side of the 1,200 metre stretch, and then back to our room for the night.
After our morning routine of getting ready, strolling down the road and eating either rice porridge or noodle soup, we made our way to Tony's Big Bikes.
The Honda CBF250 was meant to be "booked out" for the day - as Duncan told us, so we'd planned to hire one of there unused mopeds, to whizz around the local sights before the beginning of our big adventure. But when we arrived, we noticed the bike was there.
Duncan explained the confusion, and kindly leased us the bigger bike for the day at the same lower cost of the moped.
Having the motorbike we'd be using for the following ten days was great. It was the perfect way for me to 'get to know her' (or Rhonda as I called her).
First port of call was Central Festival shopping centre for some essential supplies of suncream, SIM card and medicines. We then set off to Doi Suthep mountain, to see Wat Phra That temple.
The windy roads up the mountain were awesome, some were reminiscent of the Hai Van Pass (except better condition). Having a 250cc motorbike able to handle the ascent, was pure bliss especially after using small engined mopeds for sometime.
The temple was stunning and in immaculate condition. There was also a very nice view point near the temple which overlooked Chiang Mai. Unfortunately it started to rain so we weren't able to soak up the view as much as we'd of liked.
Being slightly cooler (only a couple of degrees) at the top of Doi Suthep mountain, Amelia felt the need for a hot chocolate, so we got out of the rain and found a cafe near the viewpoint. Once the rain had stopped, we made our way back to the carpark and jumped back on Rhonda.
The next stop was at Wat Umong, it was located back towards Chiang Mai so back down the mountain we went.
It was a very unusual temple featuring tunnels. The tunnels were supposedly built by the King, and painted with forest scenes so they could keep a famous, but mentally deranged monk, within the grounds of the monastery, apparently he had a habit of just wandering off into the forest for days on end.
Just a couple of kilometres down the road was another temple. This one (named Wat Suan Dok) was a glorious royal temple. The temple was slightly different to others with its 'Daz White' mausoleums and huge 48m high golden chedi towering over.
On our way out, we met three friendly Burmese monks. One of them spoke English fluently, so we had an interesting conversation for a short while. I found out that they were on holiday in Thailand. He also told me that he'd originally studied at this particular temple just a few years ago, so was acting as a guide for his 'colleagues'. Before parting, I asked the monk if he'd be happy for me to take some pictures of him. Thankfully he didn't mind at all, he stood posing in front of the temple whilst I snapped away with the SLR.
Another evening, another market. This one wasn't as big, and located quite far away. We took one of the many 'songthaews' around Chiang Mai to reach the market. Songthaews are covered pickup trucks with rows of seating in the back, and normally one of the cheapest ways of getting around. It cost us just 20 baht each to get there.
Shopping around I managed to pick up a very thin, long sleeved 'evening' jumper with the hope of preventing damned mozzie bites at dusk. Amelia treated herself to some unusual, bargain priced sunglasses and we ate at a seated market food stall.
After our Thai curries, we had another recommendation from one of Amelia's friends to attend to. It was a cabaret recommended by her best friend Lizzie. Knowing Lizzie and knowing Thailand, I knew it wasn't going to be a 'normal' cabaret. I was right, it was a ladyboy cabaret (located near the night market).
We were led to our table by a very 'full figured' ladyboy, who was very quick to give me a slobbery kiss on the cheek! Feeling a little worried, we sat waiting with a beer in hand hoping more people would arrive before the show commenced. It didn't take too long for more people to show, most were tourists, but there were the odd local guys too who clearly enjoyed the local 'talent'.
The show started with a Moulin Rouge style act, and followed with a Steps act singing Tragedy. There was also an awful Whitney Houston lookalike act. With awful lip syncing it made it all the more hilarious. Amelia loved it, it was definitely more her cup of tea. But I must admit I was entertained too, but not for long. The act that followed gave me an experience I will struggle to ever forget. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I'd receive a lap dance from Rihanna. Well I was right, I didn't get a lap dance from Rihanna. Instead I got taken advantage of by a half decent lookalike with a penis.
I was chosen and reluctantly (putting it mildly) taken by 'Rihanna' from the comfort of my bar stool, to a chair on the stage. He/she then proceeded to give me a lap dance, during which he/she kissed my neck and tried over and over to strip me naked. I like to experience new things but this didn't count. As soon as the chance appeared, I managed to squirm out of his/her very strong grip and back to Amelia, who was crying with laughter and filming the whole thing! The song S&M by Rihanna will forever haunt me!
We left before the opportunity to get a picture with the acts, for two reasons - one, because it'd mean handing over even more cash, and two - because I was petrified, especially after having my crown jewels groped by a 'barmaid' after the lap dance.
After a night of disturbed sleep, I got Amelia up so we could prepare ourselves for our exciting road trip ahead...
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