Animals I have seen and conquered.

Below are a list of Animals that I have casually, without asking, strolled on in to our house univited to frighten the beegeebees out of us. I have included death squadren quotes and methods of disembodying. For the faint hearted, look away now.

Spider number 1, The jumping spider. Sandras room.
For some reason it was impreative for us all to have our door knocked on to wake us up to be informed that we were all about to die. So bleary eyed we go to meet our doom. After A LOT of screaming and dancing around waving bottles of toxic poison and trying to catch this huge jumping spider around Sandras room with a bucket to cries of "the end is nigh! This spider will have us all and marry our wives and kill our children!" we manage to drag "her" (With insects Sandra, our resident Barceloniana always refers to them in feminine form) kicking and screaming down death row (the hallway to front door) under a bucket- although actually by the end of the painful drag there is not much kicking from our prisoner of war as legs get left behind, strewn behind on exit.

Spider number 2, The tarantula (we thought it was big at the time but see next blog for his mummy) The shower.
"Careful" we cry, "It could be deadly!" to which Susie moves from her room, raises an eyebrow in an alarmingly experienced, calm and collected way and replies "and so am I" before beginning a 5 minute reneactment from Psycho with a broom handle. After several minutes of bashing to cries of "STOP STOP IT DIED 3 MINUTES AGO" she stops, wipes her brow and slinks back into her room without a shred of remorse. Humans 1, Spider in several parts.

Snakeworm- My shower.
Apparently there isnt just hair in my shower plug. This one we were mor merciful too, feeling guilty that we were racking up the death toll, and decided not to kill but to scoop it into a plastic bag and leave it outside. If, during the night the abg twists and the snakeworm cant escape and dies of suffocation its not my fault.

Cockroaches numbrs 1 to 20. Everywhere in the house including 3 in our fridge.
How do they get in the fridge? LOTS of screaming and dowsing everything in toxic poison. One that got in the freezer we presumed was dead so we took outside. The moment it started thawing out it came alive, so we stamped on him for a good 10 minutes. Obviously.

Flying Cockroach. Sandras room.
More screaming and dowsing everything including curtains and walls this time, in toxic poison.

Ants and more ants over every single surface going.
Leave a crumb out for a minute and youve got a problem. Disallowing them the joy of food and youve got an even bigger problem. We are now stoing EVERYTHING in the fridge (although slightly counterproductive as the cockroaches can get in here),. Dowsing our kitchen in toxic poison.

Our house smells of toxic poison.

Red and Black snake. On our porch as we eat our dinner.
By the time Ive worked out ther red and black yellow deadly fellow-alright jack rhyme thing we have all run, screaming inside (after taking photos). I haev even sacrificed my spag bol to the snake as it sits outside getting cold. I hope he enjoys it too, I put several spices and vegetables in that thing.

Below is a list of animals who ahve found our porch and yard an aphrodisiac and made love infront of us whilst we try to eat our dinner.

Horses
Frogs
Dogs
Ghekkos
Chickens