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The Epic Adventures of Andy Bright
I walked what I now knew was the extremely short walk back to the station for my train to Agra.
I started to panic a bit as I started to watch the trains pull in as people were cramming in a way I had not witnessed since Tokyo.
But these were not nice air conditioned five minute journeys, these were crammed in to carriages with no air con and open doors for many hours.
I was praying my train would not be the same as I had booked second class and my journey was five hours
As the whiff of urine approached I braced myself for the worst.
I found my carriage half hoping for my numbered seat to be empty just waiting for me..........
As I found the seat number there was five people sat on my row of seats supposed to accomodate three, plus a ton of luggage on the floor.
I looked around for somewhere to put my rucksack but there was not an inch of space. My seat by the window was occupied by a woman, so I pointed to the seat and pointed to my ticket.
She waved away the people next to her and patted the seat so as to say, dont worry you can sit here in the middle.
A man near her who I later discovered to be her husband, saw me struggle with the rucksack and grabbed it off me made the woman lift her legs up, and added it to the mountain in the middle.
I was relieved to have a seat even if it was extremely crammed.
The journey was most definitely liquid free as before and i went toilet free thank goodness.
Getting to the hostel I was raped as always by the tuk tuk but no where near as bad as before.
As I checked in they showed me the room right next to the entrance, next to the street and next to the generator. It was huge with three beds but also horrible and damp and dingy.
Not again I thought.
I asked for another room but was told they were full.
I was really coming down with the flu now, so just took it and went to bed and spent the whole night shivering trying to block out all the noise.
Next day I needed to go see the Taj Mahal, so left the hotel for the short walk.
I was amazed that time had stood still in all the narrow streets surrounding it. I had expected something built up and really touristy with a starbucks and KFC but it was just old run down streets full of cows and litter.
As I got near it started to rain, so I switched tactics and got a tuk tuk to the fort instead.
It was ok and span out the rain, but I was starting to worry about my train that night down to the Ganges.
It was full when I had booked it weeks ago, but I was number 9 on the waiting list and was hoping that as the journey approached that I would move up the queue.
I decided to pay the vodaphone trillion a minute fee and check on my phone, but could not get a decent connection for love nor money.
As I was in the north of the town I got a tuk tuk to the station I would leave from to see if they could help me.
Half way along the journey I realised I had no money left so asked the driver to stop at an atm machine.
He took me to what felt like a rough area but sure enough there was a machine, and sure enough I could not get any money out.
Now I was getting really fed up with nothing working, but told him to carry on to the station.
He gave me one of those concerned looks once he realised I had not managed to get any money out.
The station was a waste of time. My train was at seven and they told me to check the website after five as tickets were only allocated two hours before.
That would really be cutting it fine as I would need to use the internet in the hotel and then dash to the station.
Luckily there was an atm machine at the station that worked, so the driver started to smile again.
So back to the Taj we went with the train situation weighing heavily on my mind.
It was imperative I got to the Ganges as all my forward travels to Nepal had been booked. If I missed that train I was totally screwed.
I bought my ticket At the main entrance and ran the gauntlet of people wanting to be your tour guide and how it was not possible to enter without one, and went inside.
I was feeling super ill, full of snot and cold, the place was packed.
This never happened to Diana I was thinking.
I must say it was far more impressive than I had expected, and was glad I had made the effort to go.
I had planned all along to get a copy of me doing the Diana pose, but it was just way too busy, but I did make sure that I sat in the same place she did on the pic.
You have to put some shoe covers on before you can enter the main buiding as they deem it as a holy place where you should be bare foot, so the covers make a convenient tourist solution.
Only problem was I had my big walking boots on and I nearly fell over every time I was trying to get them on, much to the amusement of some Japanese tourists.
So yet another box ticked and I headed back to the hostel to check the progress of my train tickets.
It was a real pain as the wifi only worked in one area at the bottom of the stairs, so it was dead boring just sat there.
I fancied some more Tandoori chicken so had a wander up the street, but everywhere was vegetarian, as well as supposedly recommended by lonely planet.
Just as well I was too ill to drink as nowhere served alcohol either.
Bet Diana never had these problems I thought.
So veggie it was.
By now it was five o clock so it was D day on the train ticket. Back to the bottom of the stairs I went full of hope that my ticket had cleared but it was just the same.
Now I was really anxious and just sat there for an hour refreshing the browser.
By six o clock I was having kittens, so asked the hotel manager what I could do.
Someone else had said jump on the train and slip the guard a fiver, but I did not fancy risking being stood in a passage for ten hours, plus the risk if this was not how it worked.
The manager got one of his staff to take me to his friend that had a tour office up the street.
I was half expecting another three hundred dollar taxi solution, but he was actually genuine.
I showed him my train ticket and he made a phone call and confirmed the worst, that the allocations had been made and that the train was full.
To add insult to injury he said if I had come earlier in the day he could have fixed it for me. Typical!
Now I was really screwed, I had to get to Varanasi the next day in order to get my booked train to the border of Nepal.
The only other solution was to skip Varanasi totally and go back to Delhi and fly to Kathmandu.
I was not sure if I had the trauma of another train journey compunded with a border crossing in me, so the thought of the easy option was more and more appealing.
But I had to make a decesion and fast, which for those of you who know me spells trouble.
I asked mr tour man what the options for getting to Varanasi tomorrow were, and he said my only option was to fly, but it would not be cheap. Around £150.....
Now my head was in a spin.
I thanked him for his help and retired back to the bottom of the stairs to cry.
Going back to Delhi and flying would be at least £120 plus the whole having to find another hotel fiasco.
Plus I checked flights to see how much matey was adding as a fee, and everything was coming up fully booked.
I had planned to go to Varanasi and had also deliberately chosen the border crossing by land in order for the scenery, so as painful as the prospect seemed, that was what I was going to do, even if it killed me.
So now I had to start checking bank accounts to make sure I had enough money, as no one knew what a visa card was, let alone having a machine. I also had to notify the hotel in Varanasi, as I had arranged a pick up from the train station.
I saw mr travel agent and told him to reserve the flight and I would go get the money.
Just as I said it the power cut out.
It had been happening all the time while I was there, but sods law it happened now.
None of the Atm machines have back up, so I was screwed for getting money out.
Dont worry said mr travel man, we can go to the next district, they have power there. So we jumped on his bike and set off swerving the cows and traffic in the pitch dark.
Well I thought the last atm was ropey, but this one scared the hell out of me. Plus I was about to withdraw what to a local person is a massive amount of money.
Anyhow I had no choice, I just prayed it work. They are really tricky to use as in some you have to put your card in upside down and then pull it back out quickly, you dont leave it in the machine.
Plus if you chose checking account and not savings account it does not work.
To add to the issues the amount I needed was more than the machine limit, so luckily I had another card.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard the machine start to count the money, and an even bigger one as we made it back to the office without him turning down a side street.
Ok tomorrow was sorted, but now I needed to stay another night in Agra.
The hostel manager had been really helpful and had held a room for me and did me a discount. This room was as awful as the last one, but I was happy not to have to make any more decisions for one day.
Now I really needed a beer!
So next day, off to Agra airport we went on an over priced tuk tuk, but as we turned down a road and approached a dead end that had huge gates, military looking signs and armed guards I wondered what was going on.
He pulled up outside the gates and told me to get my papers and waved me to go inside with him.
I showed the guard my ticket and he said he had no information about this flight....
My heart sank. I had been conned after all I thought. Mr tuk tuk was trying to sneak off without giving me change so I had to chase after him.
i recovered my change and the guard said to have a seat next to him.
i realised it was a military air force base as people came and went. He told me not to worry he just needed the flight details from the airline before he could let me in and made a phone call.
it felt a little strange being sat next to the guard at the entrance of a base in my shorts.
a while later a list arrived and i breathed a sigh of relief. turns out there is an airport inside the military base.
as i found out, a tiny one terminal airport, but one that was real and i had a real ticket for.
as i walked to the check in the desk, the electric went, so everyone just whistled at the ceiling til it came back on.
my flight was indirect so i checked about my luggage going to the destination.
yes sir i will put in the computer he said, it's like england over here now for efficiency.....then the electric went again.
i went through to the departure area and a man shouted me over and opened a side door. there was a luggage trolley with a worried looking man.
which is your bag again? he asked.
i laughed.
plane was late but it did not matter. just wondered where my bag would end up.
Off to the Ganges we go......
I started to panic a bit as I started to watch the trains pull in as people were cramming in a way I had not witnessed since Tokyo.
But these were not nice air conditioned five minute journeys, these were crammed in to carriages with no air con and open doors for many hours.
I was praying my train would not be the same as I had booked second class and my journey was five hours
As the whiff of urine approached I braced myself for the worst.
I found my carriage half hoping for my numbered seat to be empty just waiting for me..........
As I found the seat number there was five people sat on my row of seats supposed to accomodate three, plus a ton of luggage on the floor.
I looked around for somewhere to put my rucksack but there was not an inch of space. My seat by the window was occupied by a woman, so I pointed to the seat and pointed to my ticket.
She waved away the people next to her and patted the seat so as to say, dont worry you can sit here in the middle.
A man near her who I later discovered to be her husband, saw me struggle with the rucksack and grabbed it off me made the woman lift her legs up, and added it to the mountain in the middle.
I was relieved to have a seat even if it was extremely crammed.
The journey was most definitely liquid free as before and i went toilet free thank goodness.
Getting to the hostel I was raped as always by the tuk tuk but no where near as bad as before.
As I checked in they showed me the room right next to the entrance, next to the street and next to the generator. It was huge with three beds but also horrible and damp and dingy.
Not again I thought.
I asked for another room but was told they were full.
I was really coming down with the flu now, so just took it and went to bed and spent the whole night shivering trying to block out all the noise.
Next day I needed to go see the Taj Mahal, so left the hotel for the short walk.
I was amazed that time had stood still in all the narrow streets surrounding it. I had expected something built up and really touristy with a starbucks and KFC but it was just old run down streets full of cows and litter.
As I got near it started to rain, so I switched tactics and got a tuk tuk to the fort instead.
It was ok and span out the rain, but I was starting to worry about my train that night down to the Ganges.
It was full when I had booked it weeks ago, but I was number 9 on the waiting list and was hoping that as the journey approached that I would move up the queue.
I decided to pay the vodaphone trillion a minute fee and check on my phone, but could not get a decent connection for love nor money.
As I was in the north of the town I got a tuk tuk to the station I would leave from to see if they could help me.
Half way along the journey I realised I had no money left so asked the driver to stop at an atm machine.
He took me to what felt like a rough area but sure enough there was a machine, and sure enough I could not get any money out.
Now I was getting really fed up with nothing working, but told him to carry on to the station.
He gave me one of those concerned looks once he realised I had not managed to get any money out.
The station was a waste of time. My train was at seven and they told me to check the website after five as tickets were only allocated two hours before.
That would really be cutting it fine as I would need to use the internet in the hotel and then dash to the station.
Luckily there was an atm machine at the station that worked, so the driver started to smile again.
So back to the Taj we went with the train situation weighing heavily on my mind.
It was imperative I got to the Ganges as all my forward travels to Nepal had been booked. If I missed that train I was totally screwed.
I bought my ticket At the main entrance and ran the gauntlet of people wanting to be your tour guide and how it was not possible to enter without one, and went inside.
I was feeling super ill, full of snot and cold, the place was packed.
This never happened to Diana I was thinking.
I must say it was far more impressive than I had expected, and was glad I had made the effort to go.
I had planned all along to get a copy of me doing the Diana pose, but it was just way too busy, but I did make sure that I sat in the same place she did on the pic.
You have to put some shoe covers on before you can enter the main buiding as they deem it as a holy place where you should be bare foot, so the covers make a convenient tourist solution.
Only problem was I had my big walking boots on and I nearly fell over every time I was trying to get them on, much to the amusement of some Japanese tourists.
So yet another box ticked and I headed back to the hostel to check the progress of my train tickets.
It was a real pain as the wifi only worked in one area at the bottom of the stairs, so it was dead boring just sat there.
I fancied some more Tandoori chicken so had a wander up the street, but everywhere was vegetarian, as well as supposedly recommended by lonely planet.
Just as well I was too ill to drink as nowhere served alcohol either.
Bet Diana never had these problems I thought.
So veggie it was.
By now it was five o clock so it was D day on the train ticket. Back to the bottom of the stairs I went full of hope that my ticket had cleared but it was just the same.
Now I was really anxious and just sat there for an hour refreshing the browser.
By six o clock I was having kittens, so asked the hotel manager what I could do.
Someone else had said jump on the train and slip the guard a fiver, but I did not fancy risking being stood in a passage for ten hours, plus the risk if this was not how it worked.
The manager got one of his staff to take me to his friend that had a tour office up the street.
I was half expecting another three hundred dollar taxi solution, but he was actually genuine.
I showed him my train ticket and he made a phone call and confirmed the worst, that the allocations had been made and that the train was full.
To add insult to injury he said if I had come earlier in the day he could have fixed it for me. Typical!
Now I was really screwed, I had to get to Varanasi the next day in order to get my booked train to the border of Nepal.
The only other solution was to skip Varanasi totally and go back to Delhi and fly to Kathmandu.
I was not sure if I had the trauma of another train journey compunded with a border crossing in me, so the thought of the easy option was more and more appealing.
But I had to make a decesion and fast, which for those of you who know me spells trouble.
I asked mr tour man what the options for getting to Varanasi tomorrow were, and he said my only option was to fly, but it would not be cheap. Around £150.....
Now my head was in a spin.
I thanked him for his help and retired back to the bottom of the stairs to cry.
Going back to Delhi and flying would be at least £120 plus the whole having to find another hotel fiasco.
Plus I checked flights to see how much matey was adding as a fee, and everything was coming up fully booked.
I had planned to go to Varanasi and had also deliberately chosen the border crossing by land in order for the scenery, so as painful as the prospect seemed, that was what I was going to do, even if it killed me.
So now I had to start checking bank accounts to make sure I had enough money, as no one knew what a visa card was, let alone having a machine. I also had to notify the hotel in Varanasi, as I had arranged a pick up from the train station.
I saw mr travel agent and told him to reserve the flight and I would go get the money.
Just as I said it the power cut out.
It had been happening all the time while I was there, but sods law it happened now.
None of the Atm machines have back up, so I was screwed for getting money out.
Dont worry said mr travel man, we can go to the next district, they have power there. So we jumped on his bike and set off swerving the cows and traffic in the pitch dark.
Well I thought the last atm was ropey, but this one scared the hell out of me. Plus I was about to withdraw what to a local person is a massive amount of money.
Anyhow I had no choice, I just prayed it work. They are really tricky to use as in some you have to put your card in upside down and then pull it back out quickly, you dont leave it in the machine.
Plus if you chose checking account and not savings account it does not work.
To add to the issues the amount I needed was more than the machine limit, so luckily I had another card.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard the machine start to count the money, and an even bigger one as we made it back to the office without him turning down a side street.
Ok tomorrow was sorted, but now I needed to stay another night in Agra.
The hostel manager had been really helpful and had held a room for me and did me a discount. This room was as awful as the last one, but I was happy not to have to make any more decisions for one day.
Now I really needed a beer!
So next day, off to Agra airport we went on an over priced tuk tuk, but as we turned down a road and approached a dead end that had huge gates, military looking signs and armed guards I wondered what was going on.
He pulled up outside the gates and told me to get my papers and waved me to go inside with him.
I showed the guard my ticket and he said he had no information about this flight....
My heart sank. I had been conned after all I thought. Mr tuk tuk was trying to sneak off without giving me change so I had to chase after him.
i recovered my change and the guard said to have a seat next to him.
i realised it was a military air force base as people came and went. He told me not to worry he just needed the flight details from the airline before he could let me in and made a phone call.
it felt a little strange being sat next to the guard at the entrance of a base in my shorts.
a while later a list arrived and i breathed a sigh of relief. turns out there is an airport inside the military base.
as i found out, a tiny one terminal airport, but one that was real and i had a real ticket for.
as i walked to the check in the desk, the electric went, so everyone just whistled at the ceiling til it came back on.
my flight was indirect so i checked about my luggage going to the destination.
yes sir i will put in the computer he said, it's like england over here now for efficiency.....then the electric went again.
i went through to the departure area and a man shouted me over and opened a side door. there was a luggage trolley with a worried looking man.
which is your bag again? he asked.
i laughed.
plane was late but it did not matter. just wondered where my bag would end up.
Off to the Ganges we go......
- comments
Cliffy Please, I can't stop laughing, I know you are having a hard time but your dialogue is so funny
James May I propose an experiment.... Every time you have a negative thought, you instantly look for positive things... sights... impressions... thoughts... anything. Maybe start with 5 per negative thought and build up to 10 ... 20 ... 30... BR James