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1. Find the most inappropriate and steep road in Switzerland and drive up the entire 5km of it in second gear, billowing out as much smoke into lovely green Switzerland as possible.
2. When the outside temperature reaches -9, stop and park next to ski piste. Note to happy campers - Switzerland uses different outside plugs to the rest of Europe, so you will have to make your Swiss host drive around for two hours to find you an adapter (thank you, Swiss Ronda!).
3. Next, make sure you flood part of the car park, turning it into an ice rink and making your exit quite treacherous. By this point, your fresh and waste water tanks will both be nicely frozen, rendering them useless.
4. Your bathroom will double as a ski and boot drying room.
5. If you want the full alpine experience, leave the roof vent in your van open overnight. (At least the prosecco remains chilled.)
Leaving Italy was sad as the country had given us so much, but also because we were now back to square one on the language front, now having to give German our best shot. But on Sunday morning, clad in our ski gear, we got the lift up and skied out on beautiful powdery snow in the high altitude resort of Samnaun, and were relieved that we had made the right choice to come.
Samnaun sits right on the border with Austria, and thanks to its location is duty free. The town used to be a favourite with smugglers, and I'm slightly suspicious that it still is after seeing two men more suited to racketeering than skiing leaving the convenience store with a mountain of cigarettes. In fact, you can still ski the "duty free route" from the Austrian side of the valley into Samnaun if you have a big enough backpack!
This week, to accelerate our skiing, Katy has had some one-to-one lessons, and I've also had my very first skiing lesson! For two hours, a Swiss legend (code name "Dave") taught me how to ski without looking like I taught myself. It's still early days, but it has really moved me on from the level I plateaued at years ago. I even think a bit of carving might be going on!
Today, I also tried a bit of semi off-piste alongside the black run and didn't completely stack it. I reserve my crashes for the crowded area near the restaurant, where I fail miserably at skiing on one foot and fly the British flag for embarrassment. Katy, on the other hand, reserves her crashes for me, using me as a human brake. Well let's face it, if she's going down, why should I be left standing?! Though her last crash - after a morning's faultless skiing to that point - was the one that nearly caused me a heart attack - she caught the edge of one of her skis and sort of pogo sticked around until her skis finally fell off. As she held her leg in pain, I ran back up the hill fearing the worst. Thankfully it was only a twinged muscle, and after a dusting off we carried on.
Katy has come on a long way this week, and undaunted by the slopes tomorrow we take on her first red run. Wish us luck!
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