Irish Phil, Camp/Gay Phil, Normal Phil (you)... he's just one of the many Phil's about, and as such nothing special! But good to hear things going well, and in NZ now.

Now what is special though, is my new recent anecdote to tell (100% true):

At bus stop this morning in Bristol, and two total chav girls (full of piercings, common accents etc) are talking in front of me (prob about 15/16).

One asks the other, 'Is Turkey in Hungary?' I did a double-take and when the other girl replied, 'Dunno!' I knew I was witnessing a classic the likes of which hasn't been seen since Jade Goody first graced our screens (and filled them, the fat, thick, rich donkey).

It got better though. After talking about her disinterest in Geography, the first girl follwed such moronic question with, 'Hey, what's the capital of Amsterdam!?'

I nearly burst! Fitting off full scale laughter, I was thinking, 'This is amazing, glad I got up at 6:30am for this!'.

Again the other girl didn't know the answer, and first girl turned to some of her guy mates, 'Hey, what's the capital of Amsterdam?'

One guy replied, 'Why, whats happened to it!?' Fantastic! Still between all four of the group none of them knew, how utterly retarding they were sounding, or the answer! I wasn't going to explain to things to them, as I don't like to mix with scum. Their bus come and I was left bewildered and shocked.

I liked that fact that, she thought a country was a city, and a city a country!

Still, shows how dull my life is when that is the highlight of today.

Hi Cuz,

Glad to hear your travels are going well. I have been away for over 8 months now and it is almost time to say goodbye to Australia. I'm gutted although shouldn't be too sad as still got Asia to look forward to. Today I jumped out of a plane from 14,000ft. Crazy, hey?! Make sure you do it. Try and do it in Taupo in the North Island of NZ as it is the cheapest place and make sure you get a dvd to send home. Granny Beryl is sure to love it!!

You'll love NZ, I certainly did. You'll love Queenstown in the South Island. Many drunkens nights to be had there. Go to world bar and drink cocktails out of teapots!!

East Coast Oz. Byron Bay is beautiful. Go to cheeky monkeys and dance on tables and do a day trip to Ninbin, it's crazy!! Spend a few days in Noosa, its beautiful and go to Steve Irwins zoo (god bless him). Fraser Island and Whitsundays are amazing. We just came back from a 3 day sailing trip around the Whitsundays on a $25million boat called Matador. Really good boat and great crew. Anyway enough of me rambling (must still be on a high from jumping out of a plane)!! Will e-mail you loads more tips of where to go and what to do and places/things to avoid!

Take care and enjoy every minute cos it will be over before you know it. xx

I cannot believe you had the audacity to insult Irish Phil, Craig. He is a saint and a hero, and I miss him with all my heart.

Hey all, got to keep this quick coz my time is nearly up for now.

Glad to see Stockport are back to winning ways and Southend producing some good results, hopefully next season theyll be playing county. We're just chilling in Auckland coz we dont really know where anything is at the moment, going on tour around here tomorrow with the kiwi experience, should be a good opportunity to meet new people. Not sure about tonight maybe go for a few drinks in town although its pretty expensive, the hostel we're staying is so much like being in hu stu think we're gonna have to go round all the rooms and say hi.

Better be off, love you all.

BJ xxx Come on County!

Oh be quiet Pete, there was no attack there, only the truth. but sometimes the truth hurts...

Anyways, it's everyone elses turn to poke fun now, as it finally happened... yes it took longer than I expected, but after close to 2 months I finally cocked up at work!

Today, in trying to free space on my inbox, I inadvertently deleted (for good!) the mailbox containing the records of all the incoming and outgoing emails to date regarding the Checkstress project for the Airbus A380! Ooops!

Fortunately backups are regularly made but at least a days worth was lost (approx 100 emails). Never mind, know now... whether I get lynched tonight as attempt to leave work remains to be seen!

As a disclaimer though, I wash my hands of any responsibility if in the future any A380s fall out fo the sky! Heh, it wasn't too big a deal to be honest.

Right time to leave and drift to sleep on the bus/train/bicycle (yes use all 3 to get to work, sigh!) and dream of dreaming, my lack of imagination knows no bounds.

Well, after Craig's stunning attack on you all, I ought really to calm things down. So here's something to cheer you all up.

It's a Monday afternoon. It's cloudy; rainclouds cloudy. I'm snowed under at work cos one woman is off "sick" and my boss (NB Lowe, I haven't raped her....yet?!) who is leaving is just not doing any work. I'm working lates this week, so by thetime I leave work it will be dark. And probably raining. The Automatic is on the radio, and I can't change it. I just had a phone call from Macedonia, laughing at how crap England are. And Southend are doing crap.

I guess the moral of the story is - don't get a job. go travelling! You're not missing out on much here, apart from of course the Zone reunion. So, keep having fun. and keep putting up pictures of really hot and sexy girls. In fact, I don't want to see your smug ugly faces on the photos, I want girls dancing around in bikinis - or less!! Give me something to do on my lunch break!

Miss you all, except Phil, but I never really planned on missing Phil, so that's ok. Adios x

I title this post: 'Craig's Points from photo's so far...' (I think it works well):

Phil:
What are you on?! It's got to be way more than mere alcohol! Every photo of you is like that of some deranged maniac who's just had a better-than-usual night on the Rape Scene...

Perhaps you're a manic-depressant and on an insane mania high! But what goes up... Only joking, and better than to be crazy than sad and boring (like half of your group appears to have been from Alex's recent account).

Ben:
I know it's the injury but you look like you constantly have a blob of chocolate stuck to your chin in each pic... or a squashed beetle. Either way, seems like the usual, photo grinnage and up-to-no-good party action from you. The horrors to think what you'd get up to if didn't have a girlfriend...

Chraa:
Not much from you, but I will say looking super chumpish as usual. There's no real basis for that statement (other than Chraa is, and always be a chump, amen), but to call Chraa a chump always makes me feel warm inside...

Alex:
Ahh, the solicitor to be, come boxer twat! I mean seriously, what a full scale loser! I've seen worse though, ashamedly (for you!) and sure there are plenty worse photos awaiting my harsh judgment in weeks to come... there f***ing better be, bored out of my arse here!

Also, of note is the so called Irish Phil:
Was that man born wasted and has subsequently remained so for all of his days up to and including now (and most likely for all those still to come)!!!? f*** me, never have I seen a more apt face for 'I'm gone, i'm f***ing gone!'

That will do for now.

Craig

Hey boys! All sounds fantastic so far:) We're trying to sort out whos coming to the Nottingham reunion next month-are you lot up for it? Its definetly worth a trip back! Lots of Love x x x x
PS. Write your next bit of news in the journals bit!

sorry ran out of space... I'll let the pictures explain just how amazing some these places have been. Yosemite and San Francisco were fantastic, in San Fran we visited Alcatraz and took a look around the whole place, also sailed under the golden gate bridge(the place to go if you want to kill yourself apparently). Phil's sunglasses decided they had had enough of him whilst sailing and they're now swimming with the fishes... he's moved on and has now got an even funkier pair of sunny gs. There's place called Haight Ashbury there, and it's this hippy village, I got one funky t shirt there with all the colours of the rainbow on it! It really does brighten up the room when i wear it.

I'm gonna get kicked off the computer in a bit so I'll say my goodbyes now. Hope England is good, and not too cold, it's scorching here maybe high 20s. Hope to here from u all soon, although I probably wont be able to reply for a few days, don't think the got internet in the grand canyon.

Love you all,

Ben xxx

I too have been wounded on this trip. I dropped a generator lid that went through my thumb nail, and have generally mashed up my hands from scrambling over rocks. Ben is the more scarred though.

Our most vicious endeavour was the climb to Angel's Landing, where one little slip would mean certain death for the thousand feet drops on either side of you. It was a strange and wonderful time.

The greatest wound I have is the wound in my heart, however, when I came to Utah and found they have insane alcohol laws that prohibit the sale of beer over 3.2%, and we have to find some liquor store for proper alcohol...

Hey.
I'm currently in Utah in a little village called Moab. The trek so far has been great. I'll try explain what I've been upto so far in a nutshell. Oh yeah and hopefully I will have photos up on the net later today if possible, the computers I've used so far have forbidden uploading photos from cameras which is kind of gay!

Well last night we went for a picnic at dead horse point and watched the sunset, I've now seen a grand total of three sunsets! Sunset beach was by far the most spectacular, our group of 12 just drank beer and chilled on the sand dunes watching the sunset over the pacific ocean. But anyway, after the sunset I got onto the old el vino, and got a little bit merry. Phil and I began dancing on top of our minibus, like total prats. Our tour leader who was in the van got really pissed off with us coz she managed to delete a whole years worth of photos, whilst we rocked the van! Then got bk to camp and got on the tequila slammers and whisky. Went over to meet another trek group and continued the drinking games, this was when the moment of disaster struck. I was busting for the toilet, and thought ''I know I'll just go round the back of this groups camp, in some trees. Not knowing that there was a family sat at a table a few metres away, I proceded to flash them. Until one of shouted over to me ''hey a******''. My tour leader wasnt impressed, I'm gonna have to go apologise to them later!
I had my first accident a few days ago as well, we were playing frisbee on an a big, big rock, and as the frisbee glided towards me I realised I had misjudged the distance and started running for it. Not looking at where I was going I tripped and fell flat on my face, but still managed to catch the frisbee. I have several wounds: a graze chin, shoulder, and left arm, a severe deadleg from my wallet, and twisted ankle!
I saw my first wild snake in the Sierra Nevada, he was only small, maybe a foot long and very thin. Jo (our Korean fighter pilot buddy from the trek) picked up a stick and just launched it 100ft away whilst the girls stood the on the tables cowering.

Where have I been so far.... West coast, Buelton (the home split pea soup), San Francisco, Yosemite, Moab, Sierra Nevada and Big Sure. In the next week or so we're heading to the grand canyon and Las Vegas!!! The best places to visit!