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OK - so is it legal to write a travel blog about comming back home? I'm not too sure, but that's never stopped me from doing much so I'll give it a go. I think this eventful run of madness started around January 14 when I landed back in Perth from Johannesburg. Craig and Carmel picked me up from the airport on the eve of Craig's Bucks party - under specific instructions from my folks "MAKE SURE HE COMES STRAIGHT HOME!" like they think I'm going to go straight out drinking or something???...dunno how'd they'd get that idea!
ANYWAY after 10 hours plane flight, and about 4 hours sleep on Friday night we were up and on the Drunken animal bus at 9.30am from BP in Australind. Full credit to Lord Shmigmington and Simon Long legged Giraffe Bridgey - they'd put some serious work into organise a bus tour for about 40 blokes through the breweries of the south west, including a stop at 3 bears, caves house (this is where the old memory starts to get a bit hazy), the duckstein and THE NARD..however we only ended up stopping at the nard to buy nearly every carton of Jim beam cans the bottle shop had in stock...
GAME ON - back on the bus and full steam ahead to the Elite paving contractors/Zumba Dance Studio in the Australind industrial area. Upon arrival we have a mechanical bull, a mountain of piss and shortly after two chicks with no clothes on....always a BONUS (at this point things start to get REAL hazy). Lets sum up the shed....Klumppy wins bull ride contest, Chris gets hit in the balls with a dildo, Craig gets molested by a stripper (in a good way), Geoff Bridges gets a lap dance, Sav gets a lap dance, klumppy gets naked, willo comes in the shower and takes a piss while I'm dropping the smelliest dump of my life, Craig's father in-laws impression of him changes FOREVER, Craig's brother in-law spews on my parents lawn, Brett and I go halves in a cucumber that nobody should have ever eaten,Klumppy falls off the roof AND the big cheese (AKA G. Bridges) gets Best On Ground for the night as he was the drunkest most messiest Bridges any of us have ever seen....
AFTER PARTY continues at the castle of Lord Shmigmington - I won't go into details here (mostly because I can't remember) but that party on the bricks carried on well until Monday at some stage....that hangover changed my life forever...
4 days later and some serious down time to recover we're on the day of Craig & Carmel's Wedding. What an event - champagne brekky with the groomsmen and the big cheese in the morning, suit up time hit as at 11am. The 40 degree heat hit us shortly after...let's just say that hire place would have been returned 5 of the smelliest suits on the planet. ONTO Kirup we go - massive ceremony including references to life, love and the west coast eagles. All went off to the letter and Stevo finished the day with some acoustic tunes as the bridal party left the building.
After 10 thousand photo's and some stolen apples we arrived at Abbey beach resort. What a Venue! The whole thing went off without a hitch (well one hitch of the Martella to the Bridges). To pack a room full of about 170 guests - Craig and Carmel you did a fantastic job. As usual the after party carried in our room (Simon, Marchy and myself) and as usual we got told to shut up or get out at around 3am. Down to the beach with a pile of eskys we watch the sun come up....all in all and awesome day...CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS BRIDGES!
This week long event was the highlight of my trip back home. Just quickly I need to add that I also went crabbing with the old boy, ate Webbers with my family, drank booze with every1, was lucky enough to play at Rene and Steve's wedding at Caves house (also an awesome wedding!), went to Big day out with Bridgey and Nixy, Ate food from both Melvin & Kellie's and Bridgey's fridges (much appreciated), went to the beach and enjoyed some Aussie sun, went to a bloody weird bingo night with Nat, Bec and Petey Gigantic balls AND ended my last night in Perth with some quality crew out for dinner in Inaloo. Had blast back at home every1, will surely see all again soon. Next stop Switzerland...
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