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After the ridiculously long journey (about 15 hours) that is Georgetown to Bangkok it was time to say Sawadeeka to the joy that is Khao San road again and its amazing how much things can change in the 4 and half months since we were last here. We booked into ye olde faithful Khao san palace to get the privilege of a swimming pool and passed out for a few hours we were nakerd! When we finally did manage to rouse ourseleves we got ready to go and meet Si's brother and all his friends who have come over from England for a months holiday here. It was odd to be ina large crowd of people again that you ahve known for a while and not just met, you almost forget the art of conversation, but we soon got into the swing of things (the copious amounts of alcohol flowing helped!). We had some food and went to Gullivers and had a dance before retiring at the grand old time of about 2am (so much for an early night) The rest of the time in Bangkok was just chilled out, a lot more drink, a good massage and good food. One night however we ended uo in Thailands sex district Patpong, where the ladies of the night are not always ladies but there are some bloody good imitations. We started off (just to ease ourselves into the swing of things) in a go-go bar, where all the scantily clad girls get up on stage and dance with a number pinned to them, when the men like what the see they tell the hostess the number they like and the girl is theirs for the evening...for a small fee of course! All sitting there and giggling at the rather random magician that got up on stage in the midst of all the totty action when a man comes over and starts rubbing Si's leg, which we all find hillarious, then he slides a hand up one of his short legs, so whilst Si is busy trying to hold his shorts shut so the man can't get up there to stroke his leg this dude goes up and puts his hand right on his crotch at which point we all fall over laughing and Si goes scarlet and hides behind me for the rest of the evening! When we left the Go-Go bar feeling suitabley drunk we headed to the main attraction "p**** ping-pong show" and that it was, as soon as we walked in a ping pong ball flew over head and smacked the wall behind us and a girl lieing down on stage gets up and smiles at us asking for a tip! Of the many amazing things that a Thai woman can do with her vagina (including pouring a bottle of water in and peeing out coke, pulling a string of flowers out or even a string covered in nails or razors) The most impressive was the chopstick trick. A girl comes out with a bottle, and a load of small rings on top of it (like the game you play at a fun fair where you have to get the rings over the top of the bottle) and of course a set of chopstick. She lays all the rings out on the floor in a row and puts the bottle about a foot or so away, the puts the chopsticks inside (sorry nan!) and does the splits over the rings. Whilst still in the splits position she picks up the rings one by one and scrambles over to the bottle to drop it on top of the bottle neck...it was in short quite impressive, but that was more than enough for one night and we laughed so hard! There were ten of us and only 2 tuk tuks (hmmmm!) and we raced home along the street which was quite an exhilertaing experience to tell you the least but all good fun!
After this we headed up north to a place called Kalasin (and finally made it after going to the wrong airportfirst of all and having to rush around bangkok to make our flight!). One of Si's mates is married to a Thai girl and they very kindly invited us to spend time with their family to see how real Thai's live. it was brilliant, her mom was incredibly welcoming and kind, as was the entire family. On our first night they cooked us a huuuuge feast with whole fish, salad, noodles, soups and of course the curries! The food was fanatstic and although we did't speak the same language we all managed to communicate (ie when we all tried to wash up they all made it perfectly clear that we were to sit down and relax and not to help, even though they had just cooked for about 18 people!) We sampled the local nightlife and it was a much better experience than Laos,a propper club in this little city. it had live music and a DJ, and not a karaoke machine in sight, one of our party even managed to pull the guitarist, and one of the local gay blokes tried to get lucky with Si! One of the days we went fishing and hired this huuuge raft, rods, a truck for the day and two guide for about 3 quid each it was brilliant, although at the end of the day we had only one fish in our net which we released it was good fun, emma when she got hungry even managed to call in food even though we were floating in the middle of a lake! Another day we spent in a really nice little bar drinking the day away in the sun whilst the owner treid to communicate with us via aThai to German dictionary! That night we went back and drank a fair amount of her alcohol and bless her she got all dressed up in her special outfit from Bali, and loved the fact that she had possibly the only tourists ever to come to Kalasin in her bar! After this we went up the road to another local bar and drunk more whiskey much to the amusement of the locals and Carl played the guitar and was gutted when he didnt know the one request he got from one of the local girls. At the end of it it was too late for public transport of taxi's (seriously everyone else was in bed and it was only midnight) so the owner had to give us a lift home bless him. After a heavy night some pampering was in order, some of the lads went to play pool the rest headed off to the local beauty parlour for massages, pedicures, manicures etc etc emma had been in earlier to tell them that we would be in and there was a lto of us...imagine our surprise when we arrived at the local beauty emporium and found only two women there. So much for a full day of pampering as the two staff members were running round with the 6 of us doing facials ( which unfortunatley for the girls ended with a make over, and in true thai fashion ie pale is beautiful one of them ended up looking like a vampire with reeally plae skin and grey eyeshaddow!), i had a pedicure and when i asked for french polish on my toes she looked at me like i was a nutcase and pulled out a silver to top my toes with! But it was all good fun, the boys even had time for a massage, and lisa had her hair, toes and a massage done!
After a brilliant few days up there it was time to give Emma and her parents some time alone, so we set off back down south whilst everyone else headed north, to Chiang Mai. To say thank you, we brought Emma's mom a wahsing machine (which cost us 90 quid between 8 was nothing!) and with the fridge that mike and emma brought her she was so happy! The day before we left another huuuuge feast was prepared and all the neighbours were brought round for a celebration. They also brought round some monks who did a big ceremony to bless us, and protect our souls. They blessed a very long peice of string and splashed us with holy water then we all partied and ate. After we sat with the locals (men trying to guess which women were already spoken for and a lot of photos being taken!) trying to make conversation and drinking yet more alcohol but it was brilliant fun. Back the peice of string that was blessed they cut it up into wrist shaped peices and we had to go round every one to let them tie a peice round us to wish us well and prtect us, and this whole feast and party, neigbours coming form all over was all for us it was so nice! We had our own little ceremony to perform when we left to thank them for all their hospitality involving flowers and a little speach in thai and we left with them asking us to come back...honeslty nicest people you could meet.
Back in bangkok (AGAIN!) for just one night before we shot off to Krabi to finally get some beaches and some sunshine! Enroute we met a dutch girl called Iris, we got on quite well and stopped in the same hostel for the evening. Next day she went to Phi Phi and we spent a day in Krabi to do some kayaking. It is supposed to be a lot like Guilin, China limestone mountains in an otherwise flat landscape but it was a lot nicer. We went on a tour and had to navigate our kayak through mangrove forests and caves to hidden lagoons, before swimming in a river, it was fab! That night we ate at the local night market where Si found his favourite dish in Thailand possibly, fried crispy oyster omelette, yummy!
After this it was a quick stop over in Phuket before we had to meet the rest of the gang after their their trekking up north in Chiang Mai. We decided to stay in the town as Patong sounded like a not so nice place and loads of people warned against it, turned out we spent more in taxis getting there than we saved in accomodation! Supposedly a lot like Patong in Bangkok, but it was a lot less seedy i think. Still the same sex sho invitiaions and go go bars but much more spread out and more of a fun element than a dirty creepy feel. We took a seat in one of the many Soi's to find we were in lady boy street and all of the women dancing around up on stage were men (including some very beautiful ones, and some horrific creations) A lot of them want to get you to have your phot take with them for a tip, including a very fat woman who kept getting her boobs out. We got friendly with the oldest b**** on the block who looked about 80, but she had a dance with us and a bit of a chat then things took a bit of turn for the worse! Suddenly old "woman" grabbed my boob and told me how small i was but i was lucky to have some good boobs...thanks (sorry again nan!) Next thing we know she flashes us her fanny! I could have died with laughter it was hysterical, this 80 year old woman then began telling us how she used to be a man but they cut it off and now she is a fully fleged woman! Next she took her top off and offered us a squeeze, and after much resistance we did (i am ashamed to say) and felt the hardest boobs ever it was awful, at which point she asked for a tip and the went onto a group of japanese tourists sitting next to us who looked just as embarresed when she whipped president bush out! We tried a few other Soi's and made some friends with a lot of girls (we think) in tartan but already drunk we headed back about 1am giggling until my sides hurt. Next day back to patong for sun bathing, which is quite a nice stretch of sand...its a shame what they have doen to the surrounding area.
Finally after all this it was time to head over to Ko Phi Phi where we would have a whole week to lounge around in what was supposed to be the most beautiful island in Thailand, and it was the scenery was amazing...it was a shame about the shanty town in the middle however. We got ripped off for a hell hole the first night at like 15 quid but the night after in a really nice quiet spot (thats code for miles from anywhere!) we found a bungalow and a pool set in the jungle and it was about 11 quid a night which was quite cheap but it was nice and it was home for over a week (the longest i think we've stayed anywhere!) but away from all the crap in the middle it had nice beaches and good night life. All lot of what happened over here becomes a blur of buckets, fire shows and dancing on the beach, but we met up with Iris again and The gang returned from Chiang Mai. But when sober we saw some nice marine life, snorkelling off one of the beaches was beautiful and i even managed to pass my SCUBA diving certification and i was incredibly happy! I got to see so much leopard sharks, turtles, lion fish, and loads more it was brilliant so looking forward to the great barrier reef! After this we shot over to Ko Pha Ngan and did nothing much but lie in the sunshine and wait for the full moon party, the biggest rave in SE Asia where basically you drink loads of buckets and red bull to stay awake (not the diluted stuff at home, pure redbull) and cover yourself in illuminous paint and dance till dawn on the beach, what i remeber of it was fantatsic the best night out ive possibly ever had. Me and Iris danced to cheesy pop all night and Si went to go and find himself at the dance music section, we met up every hour only to find each other more drunk, Si being Si even managed to drink 4 bottles of the redbull and still go to sleep on the designated sleeping area on the beach (so many people pass out they have a safe area with mats for people to lie down on!) When we got home it must've been 7 or 8am and we just slept now 3 days later Si still feels the effects and the day after was just water and sleeping none of us did anything! We have some photos that we took on a disposable camera so im afraid you'll have to wait until we're home to see the state we were in!
Next Koh Samui which luckily given how delicate we were feeling was only a half an hour boat ride from Ko Pha Ngan and the hotel was beautiful, sunshine, swimming pool and right by the beach what more could you want! To be honest we didn't do much here either, just chilled out sunbathed and lspet a lot! It was like a holiday from a holiday and we quite enjoyed it. We did however go to see some more Muay thai boxing, and this time on a not so professional level so there was some blood shed and some of the blokes got a propper beating! There was even an American bloke fighting and the poor bloke who had to have a go had no chance, the US bloke was massive and the little Thai man was knocked out in about 2 minutes flat! But he was a good sport and i think he pretty much knew he would get the s*** kicked out of him! It was also our last chance to have massage before heading out into the big wide western world :( so for good measure i had 2!
After ourtime on Samui we headed down south to Penang in malaysia before continuing onto Singapore the following evening on our super deluxe VIP massage bus, which had personal TV's, a huuuge leather arm chair and a massage function...nice!
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