Pai is in northern Thailand near the Myanmar (Burma) border. It is a famous spot on the hippy trail of the 70's, and it is well known for sucking 2-3 day, short time visitors into longtime residents. I can definitely see why as it is not only stunningly beautiful, but also so laid back and cool that it is not hard to see how the reputation was built. The long-winded paragraphs below are how I spent two of my five days in Pai. Well for starters, I can now say that I have had to remove leaches (yes plural) from myself. The two day, one night trek was supposed to include an easy 4-5 hour walk, an overnight stay in a Lahu village (local hilltribe people), followed by a short walk the next morning before visiting the Karen village (another hilltribe people), an elephant ride down the river, followed by another short walk, and finally a trip on a bamboo raft. Well things did not work out as planned, but it sure was a great experience. Thanks to my fellow trekkers, a family of four from Holland, I managed to survive the first day without the need of medical attention. It was a close call. First a little background on how things work when you participate in outdoor activities in third world countries. In short, there is no safety net throughout the entire process. This means no pristine trails, no handrails, no formal steps, and though I have never checked, no first aid kit of any kind. Over the years, I have kind of kind used to this, but I do remember how surprised I was the first time I realized that the only thing standing between me and the bottom of the riverbed is me! Day one started with everyone piling into a four door Toyota pickup truck circa 1990 or so. We set off with three guests in the front and two in the back of the truck. An hour and a half and a little bit of rain later, we arrive at our starting point. Within ten minutes we are climbing up a steep muddy hill and I break the first of many bamboo poles that were either fences or "steps" (bamboo lashed together) over a bamboo fence. Ten minutes after that, I am hating life as we are still ascending a hill. By the time we had our first sit down break, I knew that I may be in trouble. A couple of hours later we began crossing rivers, checking ourselves for leaches, and walking through many rice fields (on the 3 inch wide levies). Lunch was held in a bamboo shack overlooking a rice field. I was so darn hungry that it tasted like a five star dinner. Lunch was followed by more rice fields, more rivers, and finally more mountains. About an hour into the mountains, I knew that I was in trouble. Sadly we had another two hours or so to go as our four hour "easy" hike was actually a six hour "sometimes brutal" hike. When I finally let the group know that I was having trouble, my new Dutch friends really took care of me especially the youngest, eleven year old Sam. Now I know that part of it was self survival because as I said before, there is no safety net, so if I did not make it then they did not make it. Regardless of the motive, they were great and really helped me out of a jam (heat exhaustion). They are wonderful people. When we arrive at the Lahu village, I think I told everyone hello and thank you. Then again, maybe not because I went straight to "bed" which means I found the bamboo hut that we were all sleeping in and fell on the floor and curled up in a big, fat ball. The "beds", five mats on the floor, were ten feet away but I was not moving an inch. An hour or two later, I gather the strength to move and head straight for the "shower". Again a little background, the bathrooms in Asia almost always have a toilet (a porcelain hole in the ground, a sink, and a shower head. I am not sure if I can't paint the most accurate picture but all of this is in the same room; there is no shower door, no separate sections, and no nothing. Everything is one. Now Thailand makes thing a bit more fun because the toilet (hole in the ground) does not have a flushing mechanism. To flush the toilet you draw a pot of water from a larger bucket of water and pour it into the toilet from here gravity takes over. One or two pots of water and the job is done. Now back to the Lahu shower experience...... To take a Lahu shower, you carefully walk out of the bamboo hut without stepping through the bamboo floor or stepping through the bamboo porch. You then walk around the house and try not to bust your ass in the mud as you walk down hill. The "bathroom" is yet another bamboo shack only smaller and without any flooring that I can recall. The toilet is as expected a hole in the ground with the requisite big bucket of water and pot. The sink as well as the shower head is non-existent. Instead you fill the pot with water from the running water pipe that was in the bathroom. You then pour the pot of cold water over your head and repeat. There you have yourself a Lahu shower. I have no idea why they did not have a shower head as where was more than enough water pressure to handle one but for whatever reason this is a luxury that they did not require. The dinner as well as the conversations that followed was good, and as an added bonus, my guide made up my bed for me. The bed was pallet on the floor (next to four others just like it), a camping mat, a sleeping bag, and my own mosquito net. In the next room, the men of the house/village sat and drank moonshine and smoked unidentified products. Even though I was in the heart of the Golden Triangle for opium, I can only say that the owner of the house stumbled into bed for a short nap fairly early that night. In our quiet part of the house the highlights were trying to figure out why the village women sat there all night and stared at us. They sat there for hours with very few sounds other than a few rounds of laughter which was most likely at our expense. The other highlight was when young Sam (11) took a gulp of "water" that turned out to be moonshine in a water bottle. I managed to take a swig and let's just say it was very, very strong. The next morning was to be a short two hour walk down hill to the Karen village for elephant riding. Even so, I wanted to avoid a repeat performance of the day before so unlike the day before, I ate a big breakfast and boy am I glad I did. Following breakfast, I paid my respects to the lady of the house and gave her a small tip for her kindness. Not two seconds later I step clean through the bamboo porch below me. One leg goes through; I roll on my butt, and onto the ground. Luckily my cat-like reflexes allowed me to spring back onto my feat. I have no idea what the family was saying, but they sure had a good laugh. So the short two hour walk down hill turned out to be about three hours complete with hills, rice fields, mud, more leaches, and river crossings. When we arrive at the Karen village for the elephant ride (the end of our walking), there were no elephants. We suck it up and walk on to the bamboo rafts for our ride home. When we arrive at the bamboo rafts, we had rafts but no captains. I personally wanted to borrow the darn thing but the ethics of Thais in the north is way to strong for that to happen. As expected we have more rivers to cross (only this time up to my chest), more mud, more leaches, and more hills. A couple of hours later (five in total) we arrive. The day concludes with a short ride in the back of a truck, lunch, a walk and boat ride through a cave, and an hour and a half in the back of a truck with a good afternoon rain to make things more fun. Good times.