Week 6 I presume?? yes I think thats correct. whirlwind of loneliness. The irony struck me when I woke up and smiled so big when I saw a blanket of quiet white outside my window ITS SNOWING!!!! then the mix of it all: oh s***, its snowing i thought to myself. After reporting to my bosses that the projects were going to have to be put on hold, they presumed to tell me that I was to stay in Rochester to wait for the snow to melt and finish the projects. "wait for the snow to melt?!" you have GOT to be kidding me! thats like when my mom use to tell me "a watched pot never boils" well, im sure watching snow wont help it melt!!! My gosh it was going to be a very lonely week. A few days of productivity were super hard to handle, I induldged in a new book on my kindle. Its called "hes just not that into you" haha oooh what a funny and truthful book! Go figure Kalyn has already read it and im glad she did!

Well with all this "downtime" i figured no better time than now to start the whole "maturing" and "coming-of-age" process. so what did I do at 23? drowned in a bottle of wine with some new friends I had made at the airport. Thank goodness I woke up safe and sound since I dont remember much.

EPYPHANY MOMENT 1: I have fought and fought controllably drinking for the past few years, seeing that "everyone my age does it" and "im only young once" well, im DONE! im so done with it! I CANT control it, I hate giving into peer pressure and I do not make wise decisions on those nights soooo: PROJECT ANTI-INEBRIATION is now in effect and I WILL conquer. I would have, in the past, been super embarrassed to admit all of this, let alone post it for family and friends to read about but you know what? Im not the only one with a problem like that so, even though I only drank 2 or 3 times a month, I have proudly come to the conclusion that even 1 time is too much for me! So friends and family, drink away, do what you wish! but please dont offer me any. My mother never had to drink to be silly or have a good time, neither do I. Im proud of myself! Go me! Yay Aubrey!

Okay, moving on. after HELL that night, I finally got the go-ahead to relocate. "oh my gosh! they are doing something that makes sense!" The snow pushed me south to a small town in the mountains (well more like hills) of Williamsport Pennsylvania. Im still trying desperately to get to my crew in Columbus Ohio. The flight in was dangerously beautiful. Both of those words put it so well! I was scudrunning clouds full of ice while trying desperately to stay atop the mountains. the winds whipped and the snow blew but as long as I stayed perfectly at 3,400ft. I was in a decently safe area. At some points the mountains would rise to just 500 ft below me, and I would hold my breath as snow accumulated on my tires (I prayed alot during that flight) thank God I found the airport....with a giant mountain on the south side of it. what an eerie and different experience to dive into a valley through snow, fog and wind in such a tiny airplane. Needless to say, I LOVED it. I felt accomplished. Sick to my stomach, but accomplished. YES I vomitted, but I held it all the way to the FBO. Most of it was from being so dehydrated.

I was a mess after that. With the hopes of getting out of this town ASAP, I didnt even bother to rent a car or even look for a decent hotel. I settled with the FBO's cheapest place with free hot breakfast, the BestWestern 20 minutes away. Temporary depression set in the day after that flight when I knew I wasnt getting out of here anytime soon. I literally watched 14 hours of Harry Potter on ABC Family and vegged and moped. Thank the lord for friends because quite a few of them still entertained me even when they are 455 miles away! Even a person I have only met once in my life was willing to give me words of encouragement. How I miss Michigan! the emptiness grows everyday! But im STILL adamant and proud of doing this!!!

Knowing the holidays are fast approaching are killing me softly. I need my crew at least. Im learning to accept the fact that this is a pilots life and im living it! Which brings me to today: I packed my sack, bundled up, and marched myself to St Annes Catholic Perish. I was there a half hour early so I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. the Mass was beautiful and I sang my heart out! I didnt care how out of tune I was! I people watched, and fell in love with the 4 most darling little blonde haired gals. they so quietly took care of eachother while they poured into the Pew kitty corner from me. The mother, so well put together and smiling down on all her little ones, made me realize:

EPIPHANY MOMENT 2: I am so excited to have a family! No, I dont want to have kids right now, but I think, yes, I know at this moment, I want them one day. and I hope they are all as sweet and loving as this quaint little family in front of me. Only, my husband will be there in the pew with us all as well. Holding my hand and smiling down on them too. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a moment in history for me, I NEVER wanted kids before, I severely questioned getting married because of all the hurt I have endured in the past and the career path I chose will make a marriage all that much more of a challenge. I am sooo excited to meet my soulmate, the one who will be head over heels in love with me is out there somewhere. Hes already born, hes already making life choices, and I know hes looking for me too. We will find each other in due time! I dont know your name or even what you look like but I cant wait to meet you! OH how awesome it is to know I have my whole life ahead of me still and an AMAZING past to boot! again, YAY ME! hahaha!

After my oh-so-enticing moment, church ended and I bundled back up to venture out on, what seemed to be a decent length walk to the nearest Starbucks. Not such a great idea, things started to look a bit like the outskirts of Detroit, so I hummed church tunes that I just learned and gripped my knife in my pocket...yes its sad, 5 ft-nothing and 117lbs thinks shes project-Alice from the movie resident evil and that she can fight off Pennsylvanian-zombies! haha! well I made it anyway to sanctuary number two! and rewarded myself with a chai tea soy latte! life is sweet! Now to call a cab and venture back to the hotel tehehe (you didnt think I was gonna make that walk back did you?) Pray that I make it out of here soon and on to calm winds and bluer skies. xoxo!