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The third day on the road back from Texas I woke to see snow scattered over rolling hills of rocky earth receding into mountains.We were in Colorado!The buildings were shiny, the houses were large with balconies and backyards, the views seemed limitless.It was a shock, really, to be so used to the south Texas setting for so long and then to be suddenly thrust back into northern civilization.I realized then and there I could never live there solely because of the austere landscape.
While the blues of the sky, the yellow of the plains and the black of the cattle all make a nice backdrop for a postcard, I don't find it a nice one for life.You can tell all the trees are planted in accordance with a community development plan and none of them grow tall enough to provide shade or, heaven forbid, shelter from the harsh winter.No, the word "nestled" does not exist there.Homes and barns stand alone to brave the winds.However, it's the stark contrasts that appeal to so many.The mountains do take your breath away and it's a blessing of modernity to see them every morning on your way to work.But even in the mountain towns which have more of a charming atmosphere, there is still a sense of man against nature.These observations of course, don't prevent me from vacationing there and in fact, may enhance the thrill of skiing that I crave so much.Perhaps I'm just feeling a little homesick.
Lately I've been picturing the streets of Howard County while I'm driving, remembering how I used to enjoy just being in the car as it went over and around the rolling hills.I compare neighborhoods to those I used to know and find it hard to imagine that people could ever settle down anywhere else.Why, given the gift of Free Will, would someone choose to make their home in Salina, Kansas for example?This is the town where we stayed the night on our way to our 3rd round project after a week of de-briefing in Colorado.We've "shuffled" teams this round to give everyone a) a chance to get a project they are individually interested in and b) some space from their permanent teams if necessary.
Kansas is flat.Kansas is brown/yellow/tan.Kansas is deserted.As you drive through, if you're not struggling to stay awake, you're starting to panic that you're the only one who didn't get the memo about the federal order to abandon the state.One of my old/real teammates who was also traveling on I-70 on his way to Arkansas said he could "feel the color draining from the landscape" and that he would probably be in some "serious Wizard of Oz s*** soon."And if that wasn't enough, you pass scary billboards that rival Texas' in single-mindedness.Some examples include:
·No God, No Peace; Know God, Know Peace
·Obama is a Fraud, Demand Resignation Now
·Obama: Wannabe Marxist Dictator
·God saves, Pornographyenslaves
·Adoption Not Abortion (hand painted in a cornfield)
Now once we got to Missouri, we found that the billboards' thirst for democratic blood was replaced with a bizarre love of the double entendre:
- Crouch Without the Ouch!Ballroomjeans.com
- Big Tasty Butts: Bobby's BBQ
If I had been with my old/real team, these experiences would have been hilarious and probably made the drive go much quicker.But with my new/fake team, and all the separation anxiety that come along with it, I couldn't help feeling close to tears for most of the day underneath my forced, good first impression smile.Saying goodbye in Colorado was hard enough and now I'm stuck in a van with these people in no man's land?And we're done for if we break down because who would help the hippie kids using the taxpayer's money to help the environment?
Well don't worry; we eventually made it to the St. Louis Parks visitors' center that we'll be calling home for the next 2 months.It's nice enough and certainly spacious, although the only indoor water source for dish and face washing is a utility sink in a large broom closet and the showers are in a separate building down the road.We haven't figured out the cooking or cleaning situation and my new/fake team leader writes notes on her hand instead of on a list or in a notebook so who knows what will end up getting done.
I know that eventually I will adjust to this new situation.I have to be positive and focus on the little things that make me happy each day.You can't embrace the present if you're bogged down in the past or looking off into the distant future.But sometimes that's easier said than done.
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Note:I woke up the morning after writing this to hear the birds chirping and to discover that our new home has a beautiful deck overlooking the forest.It also has picnic tables and a grill for outdoor dining and more hiking trails than we could possibly use in 2 months.Our site supervisor arrived at 8:30am to give us a town orientation that included breakfast at St. Louis Bread Co. (what we know as Panera) and was just so cheerful and accommodating that I can't help but feel more settled about the new situation.Not taking a sigh of relief quite yet, but it's a start.
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cynthiaojala come and live with us ,,,we need you {I found your blog and love it} we are very proud of you......