10.27.2010

So I'm having my first real and official bout of homesickness.It certainly didn't occur while I was studying abroad (and those of you who read that blog are aware that I was plenty distracted by the traveling, dancing and drinking).Thus I was not prepared for how it would affect me in this situation.I'm older now!Wiser!This was my life decision for a better, more balanced future goddamn it!But homesickness has crept in and I have finally decided to call it out in print.Perhaps admitting it really is the first step in solving the problem.

Here is the good thing I suppose:these feelings are not a function of hating it here (despite the laundry mishap…)On the contrary, I wake up each morning knowing that this is the program, the place, the environment that I'm meant to be in right now. I'm more and more impressed with the work that's getting done and with how the preparation, organization and compassion of it all coexists so beautifully.Especially when the lecture type trainings that I'm sitting through are on topics such as disaster preparedness and community building, operating shelters/food banks and job site safety (sounds boring but not when you talk about venomous snakes/spiders and see pictures of what can happen with nail guns when you don't wear safety goggles).And then there are the practical hands-on trainings i.e. The Power of Power Tools.

So here is the real issue:I'm having trouble making anything more than a hi-how-are-you-where-are-you-from connection with anyone.And I guess that's not entirely true…I went out for Chinese food with a bunch of people last night, I hang out with my roommate and the girls across the hall all the time in between classes and I'm going to a concert with some girls tomorrow.That's fine but none of them are my new best friends.I want that Lightning Bolt, let's be in each other's wedding connection! I think my study abroad experience set me up with way too high expectations for this one because after all, it has only been a little over a week of getting to know these people and I should cut myself some slack.And obviously, as you would imagine in a big group, there are a lot of differences between us.For example, I'm probably the only one who doesn't have a tattoo already/isn't thinking of getting one in the near future.Nothing wrong with that, just sets me apart already as someone who isn't as big of a risk taker.But we share the traveling bug and the thrill of other risks like hiking and skiing so that's ok right?But big faux pas - I've never been camping.And no, that one night in a tent in the backyard at June's house doesn't count.Neither does that one night in Michigan when mom stayed in a hotel.Also, big culture shock: I'm the one who is a constant texter here.Back home, I was the girl who glared at those who took phone calls during dinner or texted while the teacher was talking.Now I'm THAT girl without meaning to be.At UMD you could do it and get away with it because someone was always doing it more than you.Here, I've already heard my go-to line of "I hate being so connected by technology… I would never want internet on my phone" come out of someone else's mouth before I could step up and claim that social stance.

In summary, it's an adjustment.Pretty much every hour of the day I wish I could bring all the people I love here to Denver!That would at least solve half the problems.In the meantime, I'll keep busy with service learning projects - sure have a lot of them on the docket!Last week the whole Corps built trails with 460 6th graders at Cherry Creek Park and this week my team will be helping the Denver Children's Museum set up for their annual Halloween Trick or Treat Street Festival.In addition to those, I'm coordinating 3 Independent Service Projects (ISPs).Last weekend, my team worked with UrbiCulture Farms, a multi-plot urban garden that sells shares to community members to promote organic crops, healthy living and energy conservation.This weekend I'll be taking a group to a wildlife refuge and then going back to actually work the games and concessions at the museum's festival.More details later!