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In responce to recent (negative) feedback and rather limp reception of our previous blog post, we will attemt to make this one more to the liking of our critics. What can we say, we are people pleasers.
Fern had a prawn curry and pooed herself while Alex stood next to her, laughing in the face of a poor blind, armless, wheels-for-feet, begger girl who asked him for a few rupees so she could eat that week. Ok, that is not quite how it happened, but events of a similar nature have occured.
We got the night train out of Varanasi to Agra - home of squalid hotel rooms, lots of dirt, and the Taj Mahal. We were a bit dubious about the Taj Mahal's beauty, especially as Alex in particular know just how effective photoshop is at turning a pretty poor photo into a thing of wonder. But we should not have doubted. It was, completely breathtaking. It rose above all the grime and animal poo of the city like some white, beaming heavenly body. We chilled out in the gardens for a while, making friends with the chipmunks, who seemed to think that the Taj Mahal had been built for their personal enjoyment, when our first visitor arrived. An Indian family, of about 15 or so members, approached us and asked if they could take our photo. Alex tried to hide his love of the attention, as we assumed that his hair was the object of facination (it's not uncommon for people here to die their hair bright orange). What we assumed would be a single photo, transpired to be a series of individual ones, as each family member requested their own photo with us! What attention! This situation gradually escalated, until a whole class of school children wanted their photo with Fern (by this time Alex has been cruely discarded) and one woman wanted a photo with Fern kissing her on the cheek. This attention actually is not as crazy as it would first seem. When watching TV the next day, every other advert we saw was for skin whitening creams and bleaches. To be white here is something to aspire to and a measure of beauty. But the really disturbing thing is tht its the same companies that sell us fake-tan in Europe. Capitalism is great...
Our hotel is Agra was s***. Really s***. We only went there cos they promised us the had hot water. After letting the shower run for ages, we complained, to which the the man put his hand under the barely luke-warm water and said "but sir, it is hotter than the cold tap, it is working. What is the problem?" s***. The walls were mouldy, the glass in the window didn't cover the window, so the mozzies got in, and we found a strange bug on our bed:
"Is it a bedbug?
I Don't know. what does a bedbug look like?
I don't know either
Quick kill it!
Is it dead?
I don't know....it's stopped moving
Well...that'll do"
The next day we left hotel-s*** early, and got the train for Jaipur. Fern mysteriously threw up in a bin at the train station, most probably as a result of the relief felt at escaping hotel-s*** and then fell asleep on the platform, cuddling her rucksack, as we waited for our train which was delayed. We caught-up on some sleep on the train and then played Uno with some kids who were sharing our carriage.
We're now in Jaipur, which is supposedly the pink city, and was painted pink as a sign of hospitality to welcome the then Prince of Wales in the C19th. It is definatley not very pink though...at a stretch its terracotta. Its more like brown. on our first evening we were taken to a Guru by our nuts driver who was called Salim. He had pimped out his rickshaw with large speakers and a target on the front and nick-named it "the Helicoptor". He was pretty funny, and had a big smile. He also seemed to wear red lipstick (I think this is also the fault of the advertising over here). The guru was a pretty interesting experience. It wasnt anything like we had pictured though. There were no mountain tops, robes or meditation here. It was in fact a smartly dressed man behind a desk in the back room of a jewlery shop who made his predictions on a calculator. He was suprrisingly accurate however with his sweeping generalisations, and I have to say was worth a visit. Apparently we are not a good match, Alex should start meditating and Fern should get her thyroid checked. But then he also told Fern to stick to plain food, so she just ate rice that night. Bad advice. Both of us got Jaipur-belly, presumably from the rice, and have been planning our days acivities around their proximity to toilets.
In Jaipur we visited an observatory (unintentionally, we were taken by a rickshaw driver who told us it wasd the City Palace) which was quite interesting. The city palace was impressive and took to spelling out its welcome and exit signs with guns and daggers - a memerable touch.
We're off for a beer now, keep us the feedback.
Alex and Fern
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