As the bus out of Mazatlan slowly and steadily made its way closer and closer to the Pearl of the Mexican Riviera I began to grow increasingly agitated. You see I had been to Puerto Vallarta once before and on my last visit things went bad. How bad you say?
Now what were going to do is go back... Way back... Way back into time...
It was the summer after I had graduated highschool and life couldnt be better. The Lakers were a dominant force in the basketball world, I had been accepted to Hawaii Pacific University and me and my boys were going to stay friends until the end.... we ride together.... we die together... cause were bad boys 4 LiFe!!! (Bad BoysII)
Puerto Vallarta was the senior trip destination and it was the first time I was away from the house in my late teens with no parental supervision, tons of cheap alcohol and women as far as the eye can see. My first day there I went into a sort of overload. Me and Albert Perez walked to the swimming pools just in time for the wet t-shirt contest... I froze and stood staring mouth open for a good ten minutes at the girls dancing out side of the pool each one trying to out do the other...progressively getting more and more wild. Well I was literally giddy as a school boy. Carl was there too but he showed up a day later and he pretty was a ghost the whole time we were there.
The ensuing days were crazy. Every night was a different sort of party. There was the foam party (I went with a tang top but by the end of the night I was that shirtless guy. You know that guy that always finds a reason to walk around without a shirt. The soap suds were glistening off of my pecs and I was looking straight Aztec warrior) There was the booze cruise (so great that by the end of the ride lightweights were vomiting into the ocean and feeding the fishies).
One night I was walking around the hotel with my high school crush and it seemed as though I would finally get to kiss her or something. But as were walking my roommate calls us into a room. We went inside and I was immediately regretting my decision. These guys were smoking... WEEFER!!! I took a puff or two... but I did not inhale... it was just to look cool in front of the girl you know. About five minutes go by and there is banging on the door
"Security, you little s*** heads smoking the green stuff in there".
Smoking was a violation and cause for removal from the trip. So I did what any sane man would do I ran to the balconie and got ready to jump... over the railing and into the grass but before I could there was security.
Caught. I had to call Jessie at 3am in the morning or something and tell her everything. Mom and Dad were in Oklahomas for Tonys graduation. I was so scared. I kept thinking about THE BELT... man 18 years old and still scared of THE BELT! Im going to be 36 with kids and a wife and I will still be scared of THE BELT!
I think Im going to be scared of THE BELT until the day I die... shoot man theres times now when me and dad are arguing over some stuff like whether or not global warming is the real deal and dad slowly starts to get madder and madder. The more my arguments make sense and his arguments are torn asunder his anger grows...
His eyes go all squinty, his eyebrows start to bunch up, the nostrils are flaring and the final warning before the beast is unleashed is when he starts to fidget with his belt buckle. I generally stop arguing right there because no matter how much I argue THE BELT is the final word.
I was so scared of the belt I considered living in Mexico and selling Chiqlets for a living rather then face the wrath.
Somehow someway I snuck my way back into the hotel. Garret(roommate) did as well. The other two guys got sent home on the plane and the girl. They did absolutely nothing to her... women.
I was back into the swing of things that night. I was at some club and got completely, absolutely drunk. I drank alot. Luckily for me Beatriz was there to save the day. I was off in some corner or something feeling sick and Beatriz took me under her wring and led me back to my hotel. I wouldnt have been able to make it with out her thats for sure and none of my boys was going to leave the club for me. Before I had even crossed the lobby security had both my arms and were taking me down. I had no clue what was happening.
Next thing I know Im handcuffed to a chair. Beatriz was still with me comforting me because at that point I was crying like a little Beyotch. I was telling her about how bad my pops was going to skin my hide. Snot was running down my face, my eyes were all swollen. I was telling her about the time when dad made Tony dig holes for two days or the time he made Tony kneel on beans. I was telling her about the time dad grabbed Tony and threw him across the back patio like he was a sack of potatoes, I even told her about the time dad hit Tony so hard with the belt I felt the pain and started crying for him.
Carl came by, Garret did as well. Albert came by too. I was giving them my last living will and testament. Late that night they brought in another guy that had done some bad stuff. But what he did was totally on another level and Im still confused on why they did not get the cops involved.
"So what is that you did man, I got busted for being in the same room as potheads".
"f*** these ass holes brother, they got me on some ol bull s*** saying that I raped some girl or something...".
The next day the people from the promotion company put us into a cab. Since me and Garret had escaped once they wanted to see us step onto the plane. They drove to the airport in thier own car.
As our taxi is driving along the Rapist is looking around and tells the taxi driver to pull over. Once he does he jumps out and makes a run for freedom.
Me and Garrett get to the airport where we are immediately asked about the rapist.
"I dont know what happened". Was the answer that we gave.
We boarded the plane. As I sat in my seat my head was pounding and I was not feeling so good. As the plane takes flight and is in the air for an hour or so I begin to get cold chills. Im sweating and feeling sick. I look around for a stewardess. My stomach is hurting and I decide that I need the restroom. Just as that thought hits me I vomit all over my shorts, seat, sandals and shirt. It smelled like a fresh margarita. I did the walk of shame with the whole plane looking at me with a disgusted look. The plane smelled like Margaritas for the next few hours until we got back home. By the time I got to the house I think mam and pap were just happy I was not in jail or dead or something because nothing really happened.
So this time things went off with out all that nonsense going on. I went snorkeling at some coral reefs called Los Arcos. I met some HCers for dinner and they were really cool people. I had a room for only 15 dollars a night and things were just laid back and easy. Nothing so exciting or dramatic... hence the long flashback. I went out to a club one night and that was actually pretty funny.
I promise to upload pictures really soon people...