WEAKKKKKKKKKK!!!! None of my pictures seem to be working on this thing so for the time being you will have to deal with random pictures of random places. This one is from Belize.
Hey people things are going swimmingly here in Mexico. I finally left the tourist heavy coast and Im making my way through Central Mexico. The resort cities were cool and all but they lacked that authentic feel I have been looking for.
Speaking of authentic I have a confession to make... I ate at a Mcdonalds. Yes, yes I know bad...But... see... Wha had happened was... I didnt have cash and I needed to use my credit card and I cant seem to find a taco stand that will accept my card. Oh well but in my defence I did eat my french fries with mayonnaise so thats keeping it local in some part.
Before I headed to Guadalajara I had made contact with two HCers. One Frenchman living in Tequila and a girl living in Guadalajara. I thought I was set as far as accomodation. Unfortunetly neither one fell through. But as far as Guadalajara went Nicole (HCer in Puerto) had told me about a hostel that sounded good and thats where I stayed for two days. It actually turned out to be the nicest hostel I have ever stayed in. It had two dining rooms that were referred to as the Gallerias. Lots of art in these rooms. Paintings, vases and other stuff. There was an outdoor patio (when I arrived people were drinking wine in wine glasses... not my peeps). Breakfast was free. Hot showers. Clean rooms. Cable TV. This place was nice. Sock Wearers were non existent... but there was another type of backpacker that unfortunately had my room on lockdown...
Dirty Hippies/Rastas... This my friends is a new breed of B-Packer that I have little experience with thus far in my travels. I have only observed them from a distance as the stench pervading from thier bodies and clothes is often overwhelming. Appearance wise they seem to be a bit more agro then the sock wearer variety of B-Packer and this is in large part due to the burnt out look that comes from smoking too much pot and not showering enough while staying up late at nights debating whether or not Bob Marley was the second coming of the Messiah.
Once I realized I was going to be rooming with these dirty hippies I knew that I would have to take matters into my own hands to insure my safety. I considered checking out of the place altogether but that would be nothing but a Socker (Sockwearer) move... I hid all my valuables that night. Where? My documents and money all went into my dirty underwear/sock bag. Only those with a death wish would dare approach. As for my pass port and cell phone. Hmmm lets just say that I havent walked right since... but its the safest place I know of... a place as safe as fort knox... unless someone has the key to my heart
Guadalajara is a nice city. The city extends outwards from the historic center. The historic center is quite a treat. Several old cathedrals to visit. Guadalajara is the second largest city in Mexico and it is a mark of great pride thats for sure. There are quite a few plazas to visit and to do some people watching. People watching is actually one of my favorite parts of traveling. I enjoy seeing the local people go about thier daily business.
Matter of fact just yesterday here in Guanajuato as I was leaving Jessicas house for the hostel I came across something that made my morning.
As I was walking down the callejone (Alley) I saw a group of boys gathering. Every so often one would pop his head up and look both ways... looking for adults. AWESOME!!! This kids are up to something bad. I slowed my pace down and began to look in different directions and what not. I did not want them to get scared away or anything you know... just in case they were up to some real trouble I could stop them and all .
All of sudden two little boys about Dominics age start to fight... I smiled. I continued to walk ever so slowly down the slope. As I got closer they both seperated. Two seconds after I pass I hear the little fellas cussing and fighting again. I wasnt going to stop for reasons I will explain shortly but after two kids passed me by with a look on thier faces I felt bad and was forced to be an adult.
As I turned around the little ones were wrastling on the floor and in my best authoritive voice I yelled out, "HEY!!!", before continuing with the obligatory, "CALMANSEN...EH!!! (CALM DOWN)". I stood there for a few seconds giving them THE LOOK and reluctantly they both stood up and picked up thier belongings. Continuing to talk trash to each other dropping all time fight gems such as, "Te vas a ver manana huay". (Your going to see tomorrow punk)
Guadalajara is home to the worlds largest market. Believe me this place is humongous. It felt like the indoor swapmeet 10X except minus the Korean shop owners. The market is really fun. There is so much to see. It is three levels high and crowded. Every five seconds hawkers are trying to get your attention, music is playing from all directions, the smell of food is in the air. Its a thriving little place that even extends into side streets. I almost felt like I was in downtown LA at one point....minus the Koreans.
I ate food in the food court(Sarcasm) at one of the taco stands. Thats the true way to travel Mexico people. Why go to Hooters, Chillies and Macdonalds? The taco stands is where its at. As dad always says you get the flavor of the street. The dust froom the road, the flys. Just watch out for eating from a taco stand where the neighberhood dogs are missing limbs such as a tale here a leg there maybe an ear or two... you just never know. Eating from taco stands is like going to Vegas. You never know how your food is going to taste or what you might find. Shoot, as I was eating a taco in the market I bit into something long thin and hard. I felt around with my tongue I tried to guess at what it was before I spit it into my hand. My first guess was fingernail following second was chicken beak....wrong, how about staple for 200. The proprietor laughed it off, I guess I was the lucky winner that day because he gave me another taco on the house. WOOT!!! WOOT!!!
Later that night I went to a show at the old Teatro. I figured that such a grand theatre would house some amazing performances...WRONG!!! At the end of the show I turned to a woman sitting next to me and kindly asked her what happened. She didnt know because she was asleep. I said, "So it was bad then?".
"Well my boyfriend is in it.... yeah it was horrible".
Oh well. Better luck next time.
Now for the reasons why I didnt stop the boys from fighting from the get go... Well really its quite simple. Boys are boys and fighting is what boys do. Its part of growing up. Some of my own best memories as a wee lad were all the fights I use to get into. Man if it wasnt for Tony and Jessie always beating me up I would have had an unblemished amatuer record as a schoolyard scrapper. I use to get into so many damn fights as a kid and I only ever got caught once.
My ultimate child fight story took place over three days during the sixth grade. It was towards the end of the school year. I had beaten up one of my class mates that year already and I was one of the kings of the school yard. I got respect. If I wanted to play tether ball I could cut to the front of the line. Kids would give me thier chocolate milks at lunch time. When we would play dodge ball most of the kids wouldnt even throw the ball at me even if I was the last man standing... RESPECT YA ALL.
At some point during the year I happened to watch THE OUTSIDERS. Media does affect our actions because after seeing the rumble scene with the Soshas and Greasers I wanted to have my own RUMBLE.
Now I use to ride the school bus home and on the walk to my house there was two brothers from a different school that walked on the opposite side of the street and always in the opposite direction. One day as I was walking with my best bud Mike(neighbor for 5 years...I whooped him too) one day for some odd reason I yelled out to the older brother in some derogatory manner pertaining to his weight. Within in about 5 minutes were scrapping in the middle of the street. I use some karate move I had learned in karate classes we had taken for a few months. Leg sweep and I had him in a full mount. Fight was over. Some Mexican lady starts hollering at us from one of the houses. I stand up and me and Mike chase the kids down the street. I was like a little Mike Tyson.
Next day at the corner to our house this kid is waiting with his back up. Two other older kids on BMX bikes. I was scared, Mike was scared but we still start talking trash... finally Tony shows up with our dog Rocky(best dog in the world). The kids get uneasy as the tables have turned and the odds are looking bad for them. At that point I was getting a bit cocky, Tony was there with Rocky. Rocky was at the end of his leash trying to bite these kids. I had watched the Outsiders and wanted a rumble so badly.
"You dudes think your totally rad huh? Well we should just have a rumble tomorrow you bunch of African booty scratchers!!!" (Trash talk has developed alot since the early 90s).
"Rumble? You want to fight us and our friends?"
"ALright tomorrow 5 o clock at the end of the block"
They totally agreed. I was stoked. I figured about 99% of my school would show up on that Friday. The next day at school I was recruiting. I was getting phone numbers and promises from everyone. I was so confident in my little army.
The day of the big rumble came. 6 of my friends showed up. Tony thought I was retarded and wasnt going to help me. Jessie was in high school so she was in her own little world. I think mom just thought I was retarded too because she didnt really say anything when I told her the great news. I wasnt too phased about only six of my friends showing up at the time. I figured they would have similar numbers.
4:30 PM--- Me and my warband are inside the den getting psyched up... listening to "I got the Power"... Seriously no lie.
"Man I am going to smash someones face in, like lord of the flies"
"Not before I kick them in the nads"
"Ha ha, its going to be like double dragon... we should have watched a Van Damme movie before just so we could get our moves down..."
"Bleep it!!! (You guys use to say it too) Your right we should have."
"In Blood Sport Van Damme fights better with sand in his eyes... should we through sand in our eyes?"
4:45 PM--- Standing on one end of the block we line up shoulder length apart and slowly walk down the street. As we walk down the street we are all quite. Like men have done for thousands of years we were getting our battle faces ready.
4:48 PM--- Chucks older brother shows up on his bike. Jubilation. Another ally in the battle...
Chucks older brother, "You guys are dumb asses. Chuch mom wants you to come home before".
4:53 PM--- Still six strong or seven actually we arrive in front of one the kids houses. The two boys with BMX's are nonchalantly playing basketball.
"Hey you sissies ready to rumble or did you decide to play with barbies all day?"
"Oh yeah... thats all? Well be back in a few minutes"
They disappeared around the block. We held our line in the middle of the street.
4:58 PM--- Slowly they came. First two then one then two more...
"Looks like well be home in time to watch PowerRangers fellas..."
Then a warband of about 10 kids turns the corner. Me and my ruggedy band of merrymakers were frozen solid for a kid few seconds. We were only sixth graders. They had brought the big guns. 8th graders and a couple of high school kids (The kid I beat up had an older brother that was cool enough to help his little bro.... thanks Tony). As they began to walk in our direction the psychological warfare began. They were yelling, jumping up and down, laughing at our rag tag group, hurling out insults.
And it worked because me and my pals made like the road runner and turned tale and ran backk to my house. We locked ourselves inside closed the curtains and we were chirping like a bunch of hens. These kids were ballsy. They invaded our frontyard and wouldnt leave. They were yelling out my name and calling for my blood. I was under seige and it was going to take a miracle to get out of this one...
Luckily that miracle came in the form of a War Goddess. She stepped out of the house in her nighty, hair was ragged and going in every direction, she was wearing battle goggles (glasses) so thick she could see two days into the future. My Mom had woken up from sleeping with my dad(night shift) and she was none to pleased to have a group of ravenous barbarians after her baby...sorry Gaby it was my title first.
She yelled she screamed. She had the almighty BELT in one hand and a throwing star (Sandal in the other)...
"You little s*** heads better get off my lawn before I call the cops..."
"Hey everyone look its Free Willy"
Slowly the horde withdrew in a calculated retreat and set up camp at the end of the block. When it was deemed safe I sent a scout to assess the situation and our chances at escape. The report was grim. (Mike) had nearly been taken prisoner by the hordes own scouts passing by the house every few minutes on their BMX. According to the report they seemed to be holding fort at the end of the block cutting off my friends from returning home. I had lost hope on any reinforcments showing up. Alas, it was going to be a while before we could make a move in the meantime we watched Van Damme movies and Pondered the thought, "WWVDD" or What Would Van Damme Do".
As we were preparing to throw sand in one anothers eyes an envoy came knocking at the door...
Mom was the gatekeeper.
"Adrian one of your little friends is here"
"What do you want turd face"
"We want you to fight Aaron at the end of the block. We promise not to jump in.
"Ok. Fine. Youll see what happens tomorrow"
The next few months came and went with no problems. Aaron and I wouldnt look at each other as we walked past one another. I had won the fight but lost the battle.
And that is why I hope all of my kids are boys. Maybe one girl to babysit, wash disches and do other housework.
Finally they began to grow restless