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I've noted this numerous times while in Italy, but for some reason it's creating a bigger impact this time. Perhaps because of the time frame I'm spending here and my subsequent desire to be accepted by these people. I note that nobody here smiles. Or very few people. Only when you know someone, or they want to sell you something/steal something from you. Most Italians seems to have no problem looking right at you, obviously looking you up and down, staring at you as long as they please. I've also noticed that my response is to smile (which I think is a west coast thing). This has made me ask two questions: Why do they stare so openly (especially without smiling), and why do I feel the need to smile at perfect strangers (other than my above mentioned desire for acceptance).
First, I think it's obvious that they look openly as part of their culture...no hiding it here. Which means that the real question is, what does the smile mean when used in this scenario? It's been suggested (and I agree) that it's a sign of discomfort. Of course I'm uncomfortable trying to fit into a new environment where I am only just learning the language. But, it's also a subtle sign (or not so subtle once you know it) of "keep away"...the west coast style...with a please. Please stay the f*** away from me....thanks, have a nice day. I have stopped smiling as much and am no longer getting the soul shattering glares from little old ladies on the street. Now, I just get looked up and then down and left to my own devices.
Aug 5
Perhaps this last post was a tad harsh. I in no way meant to say that I have stopped smiling, or that I think poorly of it in general. I simply wanted to note my observations on the topic as they pertain to this particular location. My uncle sent me a quote (translated from french) that describes a brighter, and one more in line with my personal outlook, view of smiling.
"Smile as often as possible to people you do not know. Large cities are often dangerous, you should be cautious. If you prefer, just smile to the women (men are brutes, do not give them false ideas.) Smile to the bank clerk who gives you your money, at the waitress who brings you your meal, the person sitting opposite you in the subway. See if one of them smiles in return. Counts the number of smiles that you are sent each day. Do not be disappointed when people don't give you back your smile. Recognizes that every smile sending you like a precious gift."
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