What you see here is one of the security guards at Huaqing Jiayuan, the compound where most of my Cambridge classmates are living, at around 2:30, very shortly after I'd jumped over the fence and dragged my bike over to get out, making an appalling amount of noise three feet from his head. It's weird - these security guards are almost everywhere in China, and they all seem to be state employees (or at least the state has a monopoly and just hires people when a company wants some), but they're not exactly the terrifying agents of oppression you'd expect from a country like China; they're mostly short middle-aged men, with the occasional twenty-something dropout, and most of them make no effort to hide the fact that they'd far rather be dozing or playing angry birds, and I know this because those two activities seem to take up a huge amount of their time.