Howdy y'all !

How about I fill you in on some fascinating facts, images and stories about San Francisco ?Let me start by telling you what a ridiculous City it is !I'm sure you are all familiar with the Hollywood image of San Francisco, with the roads having been used as the setting for many-a-car chase (the original, of course being Steve McQueen in Bullet), however what you may not realise is that this gradient is not limited to one particular Street.The entire City is built on a collection of hills (having walked up some of them, I believe the correct term is 'Mountains' !), our Hotel (The Fairmount don't you know) is situated at the very pinnacle of the highest of all of the San Francisco mountains.It is amazing to see the Street literally drop away & out of sight in every direction immediately we exit the Hotel - only once you reach the brow of one of the hills do you realise that this could be up to a 35% gradient, somehow interrupted by a flat interval of approximately 10 feet in width.Once you have descended the slope, guess what - it starts to climb again at the same incredibly steep gradient.

The roads are built on a strict "Grid System" and there is no deviation whatsoever from the straight lines & right angles of the roads & blocks (with a single exception, which we will get to later).Transportation is by various modes of transport including, taxis, buses, shuttles, trolley buses, bicycles, trams and of course cable cars.The grid system should make the City easy to navigate, however a one-way system is also in play to somewhat complicate issues.Some of these one-way streets consist of 5 lanes of traffic plus parking on the sides of the Street.Apparently there are some rules of the road & "pecking order", however obeying the road signs is optional for the Cable Cars - this made navigating the City on foot a challenge & we decided to rely on the various forms of Public Transportation to get around the City................so much for my plans to rent a Pontiac Solstice !

The Public Transport itself is really impressive - whilst there are a couple of bendy-buses, the majority of the vehicles are authentic traditional carriages which really add to the atmosphere of the City.Once again, we have been blessed with fabulous weather (it's been bright & sunny throughout our visit) which has added to the beauty of San Francisco.

On arrival at our Hotel the receptionist promises an upgrade to something special on Sunday evening, so we have to "rough it" in our opulent & spacious room for our first night or two.In order to 'familiarise ourselves' with San Francisco we book ourselves on a City Tour for the first day - this includes various sights including the Golden Gate Bridge, The Presidio and a drive-by of the Harbour side.We are provided with historical information regarding devastation caused by the earthquakes & subsequent fires and driven through the various different areas of the City - including Little Italy, Little China, Little Japan & Little Gay World.

Following the conclusion of the Tour we took a leisurely stroll along the Harbourside, taking in Pier 39 and Fishermans Wharf, before taking a Cable Car back up the hill(s) to our Hotel.The Cable Car is great, it is 'controlled' by 2 burly guys who operate a couple of levers in order to "grab" or "release" the steel cable which runs under the Street.Theyalso operate a brake which simply drags along the floor generating (hopefully) enough friction to stop the Carriage for long enough for the passengers to alight & exit.Forget X-Scream & Insanity, I was loving my ride on the Cable Car, I just wanted the chance to get a space on the outside where you just perch & cling on !

On our return to the Hotel we briefly considered ordering room sevice (35 bucks for a Pizza - get real !!) before heading out to the vicinity of the main Shopping District - Union Square.This was located a mere 6 blocks from our Hotel, however I would guess that these were at an altitude several thousand feet lower than our current elevation !We found suitable sustenance and gathered sufficient supplies for our trek (on foot) back up Mount Powell (well it's official name is Powell Street - but that doesn't do it justice) to our Hotel.

The following day we had booked ourselves on a morning tour of Muir Woods & Sausalito.Our guide, navigator & entertainment for the Tour is Charles Hightower - a "larger than life Texan" with a booming deep voice, a real skill for delivering entertaining and hilarious anecdotes & an excellent local knowledge.To get an image of this guy, think of "Chef" from Southpark - you don't know who I mean, try a Really Jolly Barry White........if you still don't know who I mean then do a google search (you've got your computer right in front of you !)Once we were out of the City and across the Golden Gate Bridge the roads were again ridiculous - the gradients were still incredibly steep, however the roads had now become extremely narrow & bendy cliff side roads with no barriers or protections on the sides.The locals it transpires are not too good with navigating any corners which do not comprise of strict right angles - a fact which is backed up by daily reports on the Local News of vehicles having left the highways when attempting to negotiate the recently installed "S-bends" on the Highway (somewhat extreme traffic calming measures) - however we were safely in the hands of Hightower.Why doesn't he concentrate on the roads & look where he is going instead of keep telling us these hilarious stories of his childhood ?!

The history of the City was fascinating to us - partially due to Hightower's delivery & partly due to the surroundings (one of those you had to be there moments..............and I'm afraid you weren't !), so I won't share my intimate knowledge of the history of San Francisco with you.Rachael may provide a public information service once her blog updates are provided !

Despite the fact that only a week previously we had been surrounded by breathtaking natural scenery, the Muir Woods were still an extremely impressive sight - the Giant Redwoods reach heights of up to 320 feet above us...........yes it was enough to stun Rachael to silence again (albeit temporarily).

The Tour then proceeded to Sausalito a bohemian community initially inhabited by artists, writers & musicians, situated across the Bay from San Francisco.This was a lovely tranquil spot and we spent a couple of hours browsing the shops, boutiques & galleries before taking a ferry back across the Bay to San Francisco.

Our room upgrade had been completed by the kind Hotel Staff & our bags had been relocated to a bigger & better room with views of the Bay (mentioning the views of Alcatraz, Angel Island & Coit Tower would just be showing off, wouldn't it !?).We didn't have time to enjoy the enhanced views on offer from our swanky new hotel room - early night was required in preparation for our early start & long day planned tomorrow visiting Monterey & Carmel.

Well I can tell you that I am mighty glad we opted for a coach tour to Monterey & Carmel !Whilst we have become accustomed to travelling long distances over recent weeks, these roads really are something else.The views are spectacular for the entire duration of the road (Highway 1) and it must be near impossible to resist the temptation for your eyes to deviate from the road, as they are drawn to the glorious coastline.(Imagine the Padstow to Newquay stretch of road only fifty times longer in glorious sunshine with amazing cliffs & golden sand beaches to the right, with towering cliffs & tree-lines to the left), whilst I missed Hightower's charisma for the trip, I was relieved that todays driver seemed to be more focused on the driving responsibilities.At one stage we drive through "Death Slide Valley" - this 170 foot high coastal road is constantly eroding & sections of the road regularly disappear into the sea !We can see signs of a construciton project underway, involving a tunnel being cut through the mountain to avoid use of this stretch of road.

Our lunch stop is at Monterey, which is a lovely harbourside town (but the fish & chips was awful !) - the tour then continues along 17 mile drive (which is actually 9.6 miles in length !?) and Pebble Beach.The scenery is glorious and we pass some fabulous houses, owned by the (very very) rich & (very very) famous.During one of our photo-stops on route Rachael is "distracted" attempting to get a clear shot of the SeaL-Lions (She is SO committed to getting the best shots for you !) and does not realise that a giant squirrel has come by to visit !Upon hearing a noise at her feet, she peeked down & then let out a scream of about a thousand decibels, she also leapt up and grabbed my arm, piercing my flesh with her razor sharp talons, and proceeded to land on my foot - at which stage I let out a scream of about a thousand & one decibels !!

Pebble Beach Golf Club was our next 'pit-stop' and as soon as the Coach stopped I legged it to the 18th Green.We watched a few golfers (didn't seem too rich or famous - all theWealthy & the Celebrities must still be in Vegas !) finish their round.To Rachael's complete embarrasment, I approach one of the golfers & ask borrow one of his balls, for the 'Hole in One' pose on the 18th @ Pebble Beach - sorry I guess on this occassion the camera does lie..............I didn't actaully play the hole !

Our final stop was at Carmel, which is a beautiful beach town - it has extremely luxurious & impressive properties in the Town, with a host of botiques and a very "select" shopping area.We took a stroll to the beach, where the properties seemed to have a more traditional feel and this was a lovely, unspoilt location.Unfortunately we didn't have the opportunity to spend any time on the beach, but hey I guess I can wait until we are in Hawaii in a couple of days.

The fresh sea air, early start & long journey must have had an effect on me, as I wake up suddenly with a pain in my neck (no, not Rachael I literally have a sore neck !), having been asleep on the Coach for the majority of the return journey.Early to bed for me again - Alcatraz tomorrow !

We have had views of Alcatraz from various angles (including our upgraded Hotel room) during our time in San Francisco, but had not yet had the opportunity to visit.We had put that right by booking ourselves on a ferry trip to Alcatraz.The Island is situated only a mile off the San Francisco Bay, and has been granted a National Park Status to preserve the history of the Island.On arrival at the Island, we undertook the climb to the Prison Building at the top, and undertake a fascinating audio tour throughout the Prison.This includes the Cell Blocks, Shower Room, Dining Area, Solitary Confinement, Excercise Yard, Library & Officers' Accomodation.The audio tour includes interviews with former "residents" of this establishment and also provides details of some of the attempted escapes, detailing the precise locations & even proving some genuine exhibits of the tools and artefacts used during these (unsuccessful) escapes.

On our returnto the mainland, we head to Pier 39 (the boat docks at Pier 33, in case you were wondering) & I have Chilli served in a bread bowl for my lunch at Boudin Restuarant - it was delicious, I ate every scrap !We take a lesuirely stroll along the Pier before we have to briefly go our seperate ways, call of nature you understand.To avoid confusion, we agree a meeting point on a bench one we have "done our business" to head on to Lombard Street.Well, when I get to our agreed meeting point I notice that Rachael has company - a Street Performer (note I don't call him a "Street Entertainer" as I don't want to mislead you !!).I join them & we have a chat for about 5 minutes when he claims his act is due to commence - he explains that he can not promise a spectacular show as the audience is limited (yeah limited to me & Rachael !), however he proceeds to give us our own personal performance.His act is absolutely terrible, he is desperately pleading with any passers-by to sit down & watch and he even offers to pay people to join him on stage to assist (I am not exaggerating, he does this on 2 seperate occassions !).Rachael has taken pity and can not help herself from offering encouraging laughter throughout the act (it's NOT a performance) and she refuses to leave until the bitter end.This would turn our to be a decision I would "pay the price for" !Yes for his grand finale he got me to join him on stage (and he didn't even pay me!!) for an amazing balancing act.Basically 4 "volunteers" sat on bar stools, leaned back on each other while one by one the stools were removed.Now from the audience, I guess this can appear to be an impressive feat, however from where I was "sat" - well actually crouched in another man's lap, with another strangers headin my crotch - this was not at all impressive, as it was entirely clear from the burning sensation in my thighs & quads that I was, in fact supporting the combined weight of these 4 men...................oblivious to my discomfort (I am so brave not to refer to this as pain), the 'Performer' held out until evey last drop of applause had been milked from the audience (to be fair I guess he can never be sure when the next batch will arrive !).

The final insult is that this guy does not know how this particular "tirck" is supposed to end (he's probably never had 4 members of an audience in his previous 27 year career !) and we are left to collapse in a heap on top of each other - as it turns out on top of me !!

Our plan prior to my brief Stage Performance (mine was a "Performance" you note !) had been to walk up to Lombard Steet to view the Crockedest Street in the World - this is the one I told you about earlier.Rachael was "good to go" and made no allowance for my acheing limbs as we climbed up the 37% gradient to reach Lombard Street.This journey was a huge effort, whilst it only covered a distance of 7 blocks the climb was severe - there was a comradery similar to "Angels Landing" when we joined our fellow tourists at our view point.Check out & appreciate what I went through to get you those photos !We decided to treat ourselves to a Cable Car ride back to our Hotel and I was desperate to get a photo of an approaching Cable Car with Alcactraz Island in the background.Not as easy as it sounds, this road is (remember) also open to Trolley Buses, trams, cycles, cars, taxis & buses, every time I think I have the spot I hear a horn, bell, hooter, foghorn (alright, I made that one up !), siren or shout & have to leap to the safety of the sidewalk.............anyway I persevered, all for your benefit !

The Cable Car only broke down twice on it's way up the hill, however I refused to get off & walk the last 2 blocks (uphill, of course) and finally we were back in motion.The good news was that the majority of my fellow passengers had decided (quite correctly) that it would be quicker to walk, leaving space for me to lean out on the Cable Car, clinging on to the pole.I have now achieved all that I set out to do in San Francisco & am ready to head off to my next destination.

I'll be in touch !

Tony & Rachael