Today we experienced Indian bureaucracy at it's most irritating. Officials insisted on repeating the immigration process we did on the way to Mumbai, but this time on the day we arrived in Cochin. Not just those getting off the ship but all 1800 of us had to have our shore passes stamped in our presence by one of 6 immigration officers on board. This resulted in a queue from one end of the ship to the other and back again on the Promenade deck - which could have been renamed for the day - the shuffle deck. We queued at least 50 minutes in a hot, cramped corridor with no air con and to add insult to injury P & O had the audacity to try and sell bottles of water to the queue - inspired customer satisfaction! They talk the talk but don't do walking sometimes - there's a touch of management by the seat of the pants creeping in occasionally! It had been a bad start for us - our room service breakfast ordered for 7.15 failed to materialise by 8am; we gave up on it and went to the BHS canteen (sorry - the Conservatory) instead. As we write we have just finished the 5 small chocolate truffles which we have been awarded as compensation for our inconvenience by the Deputy Food Services Manager - bet she's got an office, a phone and a white name badge to go with the title. Not seen her on the shop floor yet. HOWEVER, we have had a fantastic day. Because of the palaver already described we didn't get off the ship till 10.00 and so had to drop one part of our planned tour to Cochin Fort. Instead we headed to Alleppy and Lake Vembanad with 8 other passengers. It was an interesting 2 hour journey. Do not complain about the state of English roads. NHL 47 was riddled with potholes, ridges and humps and we felt every one of them. Add to this the average Indian's penchant for overtaking any slow vehicle in front of them regardless of what is coming in the other direction and a willingness to drive 3 abreast with the horn blaring incessantly and you begin to appreciate how restful it was! But it was worth it for the insight it gave into life in Kerala away from the city of Cochin. The sides of the road, unmarked by kerbs, were lined with small sheds about the size of a garage, highly colourful, selling or making everything imaginable - clothes, food, tiles, cycles, rugs, fruit, fish, vehicles etc. They were all open to the road and there seemed no way of closing them at the end of the day. Waste disposal involves throwing it on the nearest patch of wasteland near the tethered cows and goats. Interspersed were schools, temples, colleges, hospitals,shacks and quite posh houses shoulder to shoulder. Amongst all this apparent disorder men sat quietly in the shade and women walked gracefully in their beautiful saris. There is a vibrancy which is difficult to put into words. Yellow and black tuk tuks gathered at road junctions like bees round honeypots to collect passengers from the windowless (just frames and a tarpaulin to let down when it rains) red buses of which there seemed to be dozens. After about 2 hours the scenery changed to paddy fields, wide irrigation channels and Lake Vembanad. In a flashback to Sharm el Sheikh (when we were invited to get into a very small boat to join the glass bottomed boat), we climbed into a low ceilinged(ouch) transfer boat and after a 2 minute journey we transferred to a houseboat for the highlight of the day. Houseboats are wooden structures about 50 feet long and 15 feet wide, the upper part being constructed entirely of bamboo and coir. Whilst we were only on the boat for 2 hours, they can be rented for one or two days including the driver, cook and steward so they have 2 bedrooms, shower etc., a kitchen and the front half is the open seating area; the front with cushions arranged on the deck and sofas, table and chairs further inside. The beds and open parts of the boat were well equipped with mosquito nets - we were equipped with tropical strength Deet - but not a mozzy in sight! We relaxed on said cushions and enjoyed the unique experience.The backwaters are reminiscent of the Norfolk Broads and the Everglades to look at but very different in use. Coconut palms, mango trees and banana trees lined the banks. On the raised dykes that separate the lake and canals from the surrounding paddy fields a whole world balances: schools, hospitals, churches, the houses of farmers and fishermen whose wives busied themselves washing pans and clothes and occasional unwilling children in the murky waters, unperturbed by our passage. We spotted a variety of bird life, not least heron and sea eagles watching and waiting for an unsuspecting fish to glide by unaware of it's impending fate. Longboats laden with anything from cement, gravel, logs, coconuts trundled silently by, with barely inches above the water. One of the 3 man crew swam along side to ensure balance as the wake of larger boats threatened to capsize them. Shelters on the bank enabled locals to catch small ferries, providing transport to tiny shops, schools (no school bus here, just a boat!) and places of work. After an hour or so of sharing this unique environment with the local people the prospect of a genuine Keralan curry was irresistible. The cook had prepared a 6 dish meal for 10. Sorry, this is not scratch and sniff but let us tell you it smelt fantastic. The menu - small puffy poppadum, never had poppadum like them, rice, coconut rice with cumin, grated carrot, cabbage, green chillies accompanied, green beans and coconut, vegetable spicy soup, chicken in a moderately spicy sauce and tandoori spiced Seer fish, a bit like marlin. Pudding? - fresh pineapple. This will have been our second locally prepared meal in India, both have been uniformly delicious despite all the bad press about eating local foods and checking how food has been prepared. We are reminded of a talk here on board delivered by a retired NHS surgeon of Indian origin who gleefully quoted statistics showing that tourists in India were 10 times more likely to die from road traffic accidents, drowning or alcohol related injuries than from the effects of eating local food. Truly a day to remember forever. We managed to maintain our track record arriving at the ship's gangway at 4.29 for a 4.30 departure. It felt good(again!!! - remember Alexandria 2007?) to be the last man on board!