We left the Abruzzo region today and drove into the Umbria region to a city called Assisi. This place is famous for being the birthplace and place of death for Saint Francis of Assisi. It is a quaint, medieval town looking like something out of Game of Thrones.

We checked into our hotel, which is a renovated convent. The view from our balcony was spectacular, overlooking the medieval buildings and with a perfect view of a fortress on top of the hill.

We walked around Assisi for the rest of the day. It was Easter Monday and there were wall to wall tourists. This place is a Mecca for Catholics. We had dinner at a restaurant recommended to us and it was another magnificent meal. The only downside was the wine. I decided to try a Sagrantino. It is a grape variety only found on one hill in Umbria, so is very specific to this region. I always like to try local foods, so I went for it. I was warned that it was quite strong, but nothing prepared me for this wine. It smelt like overdue vegemite and the taste was so strong that it took me quite some time to drink it. Apparently it has more tannins than any other wine variety in the world. Chalk that one up to experience. No more Sagrantino for me.

The next day we decided to hike up to the fortress because the views from there across Assisi and the valley below are meant to be spectacular. Unfortunately, the fog was so thick that by the time we got there we couldn't see 6 foot in front of us, so no spectacular views for us. On the hike back down the hill I stood on a dog turd which got stuck right in my hiking boot. Lidia should have called a "Turd Alert", but she again failed in her responsibilities.

As soon as we got to the bottom of the hill, wouldn't you know it, the fog cleared immediately. It was too late to go back up the hill because we were booked in for a spa treatment at our hotel.

We went to the spa in our hotel, which was in a cave system under the hotel. It was really beautiful with thermal pools to swim in. I went in for my deep tissue massage and the masseuse gave me a tiny pair of disposable underwear to put on. She left the room and I put them on, but I can only guess that she gave me a pair meant for a woman, because the tiny strip down the front was completely inadequate. There was significant overflow, if you get my meaning. The frank was safe and secure, but the beans were hanging out the sides like a sock puppet with hairy ears. It was almost like wearing a g-string back to front. I was pretty embarrassed, but she had told me to lay down on my front, so I figured the offending baggage was safely hidden. She came back into the room and commenced the massage. It was truly a great massage and my back sounded like a sack of gravel as she ironed out all of my kinks. The problem occurred when she suddenly said "Turn over please". Normally they hold up a towel to give you a bit of privacy, but she didn't do this and I had to lay on my back with my backwards g-string pointing skyward. I can only imagine the view she had, but I'm 99% sure it wasn't pretty.

Anyway, once that ordeal was over, I quickly high-tailed it out of there and put my togs on for a swim in the thermal pools. Lidia joined me and we had a great time trying out the various different massage jets all over the place. One of them was like a firehose jutting out from the wall and I watched a lady standing in the pool under it having her back pummelled violently by this massive, thick jet of high-powered water. When she was finished, I thought "I have to have me some of that action!". At first I couldn't find the button, but eventually I did and I pressed it but nothing happened. I pressed it again and looked up at the outlet to see what on earth was going on. Unfortunately it was just on a delayed timer and the second I looked into the outlet it ejected a massive jet of water directly into my face.

That night we went for a walk around Assisi and we found a local bar that served us some lovely local wines with a fantastic antipasti made from local, organic produce.