Meeting her was fate, becoming her friend was a choice, but falling in love with her I had no control over it...
T’was March (2017) back then when I first encountered her most alluring charm and beauty. Like the many fishes on the sea, she lured me. I wasn’t looking when I joined GGN where I stumble on her. It’s been a while that I forgot how to appreciate someone, but she turned out and reminded me how wonderful life is to have someone to share with. Whenever she’s online I thought of her as the fisherman and am like a fish excited to catch the bait that might hit. And every time she sends a message on me, it means the whole lot for me. Then one day, she suddenly disappears like a fart in the wind! I caught myself being trapped. Sometimes when you’re hopelessly infatuated, you get to care less of the things that have been happening around you. You’re blinded by your feelings, become oblivious to the truth. It’s hard! Even harder knowing that, she was just a stranger who suddenly appears and hooked me. I was so lonely my heart froze. I don’t know what to do, how to find her and where to go and so, I got the tattoo – ‘FAITH’!
On the days, weeks and months that past sailed on the raft; I skirmished each rough day on the sea to harbor back in the island hoping that one day, history will repeat itself. When I sign back in to GGN, she was there being – ALEXIS. At the moment, she’s so close yet too far! It’s on the tip of my nose but she’d gone again before I can grab her hand. She just logged in back to mend her broken heart and narrow her confusion. Nevertheless, the moment when she shared a bit of her life struggle with me, it warms my heart. It might scratch a part of me but it was absolutely amazing to give her comfort and lend a hand to weigh things.
I never ever thought I’d like her this much and I never planned to have her on my mind this often. I don’t even know who she is; all I know is her nickname, the state where she lives and that she is a wonder nurse with an identical twin. With that limited info about her, what the heck! But, she took my heart by surprised. And for this second time that she left GGN, it keeps me wonder. I can’t describe what I’m feeling. I’m not happy, and I know that, but I’m not exactly sad either. I’m just caught right in between all these emotions and I feel so empty – like an empty chat room when she left in LINE app that day. Well, the best love story I guess is when you fall in love with the unexpected person at the most unexpected time. I was tired, but I kept on waiting. I was hurting, but I kept fooling myself. I never know loving could be such a burden. As the saying goes, love is like a lost object. If you search too hard, you won’t find it. But if you just forget about it momentarily, it will show up in the most unexpected way. Exactly! I didn’t expect to find her, but I did. So, a part of her are now known to me, may not be the whole but at least. It’s when I visited my LinkIn app and her account popped up. I was on top of the world in that moment. I lose her not just once but twice and it’s like, the whole universe existed just to connect us together. Little did I know that it was nothing but just false hope. I search and PM her in fb but, disappointment comes along when I heard nothing than being blocked. I understand it anyway as she might just being terrified and shaken that I get her. I know everything happens for a reason. But sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was.
I stayed calm, continue my life and waited patiently. Who knows? She’ll be back again at GGN. I believe our path simply crossed by fate. She comes back actually! She even inspires me a lot and encourages me to continue what I have started and pursue the dream that I had already abandoned. As days goes by, I honestly couldn’t resist the urge to fall for this lovely princess who had enchanted the hearts of many. Her presence really made me happy, even how unaware she was to my euphoric state. But, I think I’m jinxed when it comes to love. I assumed a lot when she said she was falling for someone. What a coincidence! I really thought it was me… All those were just a delusion, a dream I exchanged for reality.
She maybe just only my Ultimate Fantasy Online (UFO), but she completely makes me happy. – PAPS-