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Hi all my friends and family ..thought it about time I updated those of you who may be interested as to why you have not seen or heard from me for four months or more.

But before you start to read this eMail I suggest you go to the kitchen... grab a tinny or make a coffee or tea and settle down for a while .... Some will get through to the end ... some will simply not make it to the part where I had wild sex with a. ---------- ---- ---- ------------!

But good luck to you all.

In November my son and I met up in Jordan and spent two weeks exploring the desert from Petra to Aqaba .. a very special time ... Petra was incredible .... Transported me back in time from the moment I entered the long narrow cassia that lead to the Treasury and the city... no wonder they choose to film Raiders of The Lost Ark there ..

But for me the highlight was our seven days in the desert with the Bedouin Sheiks as our guides ... riding hard for min six hours each day on beautiful Arabian horses ... we crisscrossed the Spice Routes of 3000 to 4000 years ago as well as traveling some of the route of El Lawrence (of Arabia) in his quest to take Aqaba in the great war.

But this is another story that I will tell in detail the next couple of weeks as well as sending you some photos. For those interested in exotic rides .. go to < www.corbettrides.com.ar > ... my mate Yvonne can take you on a ride to die for ... amazing Estancias, canyons, tundra, lakes, glaciers, wildlife, ...National Parks and World Heritage Areas and fabulous horses ....and more

After Jordan it was time for meeting up with my daughter in New York ... many lunches, dinners and coffees ... and my daughter organized for us to see some great shoes on Broadway.

The highlight of the shows being the Merchant of Venice with Al Pacino in the lead .. must admit I dosed off in the first 10 minutes .... young William is not my favorite playwright ... but once Al came on Stage I was ... riveted ... Loved it ... especially seeing Al act live ... and close up ... my daughter had secured great seats.

My early Christmas dinner with my daughter was also special as she had booked a very upmarket seafood restaurant on the West Side .... the seafood was great and the night a super dad and daughter evening.

Must say (as a slightly biased dad) that every time I get to NY my 'little' daughter now in her 30's is glowing and full of life and always more beautiful than the previous visit. I am also very proud of her success in business in that 'dog eat dog' Manhattan city..... On days when I find myself sitting beside her at a quick lunch in So Ho … me sipping my coffee and after a little probing hearing about the latest success.... as well as the latest 's***' day ... A s*** day (for your information) being when one of her Corporate clients are not doing 'exactly' what SHE requires of them for their latest project to... succeed….

Also spent time living with my great friends J and D in Scarsdale in Upstate NY ... while there J and D and I spent many weeks of happy times looking at little horse ranches. Their self appointed 'lifestyle coach' (me) had given the thumbs up to them acquiring a special holiday abode .. and .. we found three that suited ALL the criterias !! ....

NOW I'm just waiting for J and D to negotiate with each agent ... make a deal on one ....and sign on the dotted line .. so that I can go out and choose MY Arabian and get him set up in the stable block and familiar with the paddocks and the dressage arena and the forest trails.

Can not tell you how much I was impressed by the properties I saw. Certainly is a buyers market in the US right now ... the rural properties we saw ALL had access to .. great riding, lakes, fishing, canoeing, hunting, swimming, trekking, camping, X country skiing .. ALL straight out the back boundary fence into a HUGE State Parks ... ' Heaven on a stick ' I call it !! ... And superb restaurants and cafes and art workshops in the little villages surrounding the properties... usually just four minutes down the road .... to coffee

Come on guys.. for MY sake (and yours)... make a deal on one of the best 3 and ... get those contracts signed quick .. and Settle !! ...,

Then as Christmas approached my son and daughter informed me they had booked in for a trip to China for their annual Christmas and New Year adventure together ... I was at a loose end...!!

But my good mates J and D stepped in and 'twisted and twisted and twisted' my arm to fly over to Switzerland and come stay with them in the French Alps just outside Geneva… for Christmas and New Year ...

I resisted .. true … After all it was their holiday… I continued resisting until my mate J said ... Listen MATE …"you are family" …. AND... there is plenty of room, the Village is beautiful, the skiing wonderful and a Michelin Chef (French) who has a simply fabulous reputation will be cooking our meals ....,

At that .. I relented and said YES YES YES.

Result .. great time, super snow, one huge prang for me ... Ouch!! that hurt (with blood too), beautiful village, and wine and food 'to die for' ... but must admit that after weeks of never ending simply divine full on 'degustation' dinners and their multiple courses .., EVERY single NIGHT ... washed down with only the best French bubbly ...and superb reds and whites … and so many 'truffles' that they started to grow out of my ears .. (my wino and foodo brother would have been drooooling)

ME … Loved every minute …. But I put on sooo much weight that after 2 weeks I was quite looking forward to a touch of Cambodian 'diarrhea' to loose some weight ....,

THANKS again J and D for a great time...you are both special ... and Hi to the Prince and thanks for his company skiing…. But next time more turns please … he must remember that Merlin is over 40

From the French Alps it was all 'down hill' to Paris for around my 10th visit to this wonderful city.

One day I may go up the Eiffel tower …or have the dans l'eau shot of Ms JT blown up for my vernissage of Paris memories photographic exhibition.

I had put aside a few weeks in Paris to enjoy coffee, practice my atrocious French and spend some time with my old University mate David .. David a fellow design professional has now been living and practicing in Paris for over 20 years. David has a place just off the Centre Pompidou in the 4th Arrondissements on the right bank ...,ME.... I went to my usual digs in the 5th Arrondissements on the Left Bank... love the little galleries and narrow lanes over there ... Also my favorite Boulangerie and Patisserie and Gelato shops are in the 5th and 6th .... But David's new coffee find on the Right bank La Caféothèque de Paris is now without a doubt (in my book) ... the best coffee in the world ... The cafe serves over 90 variety of the freshest and best coffee in the world .... believe me. ...even has 'fresh' Jacu Bird world renown coffee beans (bird rear end excreted beans.. but many $$$$$ for a cup)

Over the years David has become quite the Frenchman and seems to enjoy the same diversions. As well as excellent coffee I noticed many pretty ladies frequent the cafe ... so much so that each time I went to met David there … he was already there ensconced in deep and meaningful conversation with a different lady from our last meeting there.

At this time David was preparing for his 'vernissage de l'expositionk' ofhis Indian photography ... great photos ... worth purchasing and hanging in your home ... seeing the beauty and color each day how wonderful ... and they will increase in value... for sure..

David and I also attended a 'book reading' (The Escape)by Adam Thirlwell an up and coming UK author at the famous Shakespeare Book shop ...now run/owned by a pretty young blond friend of David's ...David loves his books and the shop has become a regular haunt of his. ..., we also managed to fit in a Sunday evening 'soiree' at the infamous Jim's ... Jim's soirees have been part of the Paris intellectual scene for well over twenty years... Maree you went with David to one a couple of years ago I was informed … Jim remembers ALL.

I even found time to attended a couple of small galleries but nothing grand like the Louvre.

Eventually it was time to pack my winter gear and head for warmer waters... I had planned to fly to Ho Chi Min City … pick up a motorbike and hit the coast road.

But while in NY I had a change of plans … had had some enjoyable times with a new friend .. Chris ... another child of the happy Woodstock and 'rose colored glasses' era ...

One day I was invited to the beach house in CT for a grommet chicken and salad and 'exotic purple crisps' lunch.. Yes purple crisps .. a first for me, but enjoyable ...

Over conversation I discovered Chris was off to Laos in January for some R&R and would also spent time in Luang Prabang (World Heritage town) Chris and a friend (through some NGO) had agreed to donate their time teaching English to Monks.

So having enjoyed my lunch … and 'purple' crisps … so much …I offered to repay the hospitality extended to me in NY and CT (Connecticut) .. Wait for it .... I offered to jump on a plane ... fly to Laos ... and supply lunch or dinner on me in Luang Prabang.

Forward now ...to me departing Paris for my lunch appointment … at CDG airport thanks to the French weather patterns, snow storms delays were experienced ... then and a layover at Hanoi airport of 13 hours added a little more time ... Hanoi Laos leg check in counters were closed till 2 hours before the flight ..'NO check also means NO through security ...hence no access to business lounge. Check in did not open till 2 hours before the flight .... RESULT I made it to Laos .. and was there in Luang Prabangairport ready for my lunch apointment … 34 hours after departing my Paris abode.

But lunch ... was worth it !!

Later that week Chris invited me to attend a 'monk' English language class and I enjoyed the experience immensely ... so did the Monks from the smiles and laughter.. and now a whole class of Monks speak the 'Queens English' ...using 'quality American slang' spoken with an 'Ozz accent'.

Luang Prabang was a wonderful old town certainly worth its World Heritage preservation listing... and people soft and kind..... and they weave in silk so beautifully … I even purchased (at vast expense) 56 scarf presents for X girlfriends/mates … All well worth the diversion…. Laos that is !!

From Laos I headed into Cambodia with my heart set on visiting Angkor Wat ....not much I can say about the various Wats and temples surrounding the city of Sien Reap except that the Architecture and the sculpture and the condition that the temples were still in ... left me with my mouth open. Wow... !!

I suggest you put it on your bucket list… and the food is good … and stay in my hotel ... and the open Tuk Tuks fun.

After Angkor Wat I headed down to Phnom Phenh for a 'forgettable', dirty, lack luster city experience ... Definitely on my 'places to miss' list ... Then out of there and down to the Cambodian coast ...

I could literally see/smell …the sun and clean water and white sand ....

Stayed so long in one beach side bungalow resort … first at Sky Only Above and then The Cove in Sikanouk (my bungalow only 10 meter from the water) I even relaxed and put on my professional hat (for a fee) to do a concept for the adjoining waterfront land ... I enjoyed that and as you will see from the photos my offices were well situated ... and believe it or not my son had stayed at The Cove Bungalows during his time in Cambodia.

Hey Steven T ... possibly I could play the part of 'old experienced design eyes' for your Vietnam projects ... office bye the water , squid, shrimp , bug meals and lots of iced coffee and lime juice .. my old eyes would sparkle ... and the builder would roll his eyes sky-ward ... in silent prayer ... praying that the squid would give me a good dose of food poisoning ... and keep me off site for a few days .. while he sold off... 'some' of the reinforcing steel meant to go into the multi story concrete floor salbd ....

Much swimming and walking and eating healthy food and minimum of 1 ½ hours of obligatory massage each day. Right on the beach the blind have a proper hut set up .. they have good tables … you get fresh clean top and bottom and then just waft into blissss … unless that is like me you have asked for DEEP tissue massage … then it on for young and all … the masseurs work on the body's 'trigger' spots in a similar manner a acupuncture does .. or so I am told …

Any rate I can vouch for the results … and as long as you can afford the $10 for the hour and a half you will not be disappointed.

Mind you I have it on good authority one can also go into town and have massages for $5 with a $10 "happy ending" … but add in the $4 Tuk Tuk return journey and that's far tooooo expensive for me.

Must have a heart to heart chat to Chris my Ozz based 'sports massage' professional about his pricing and whether he thinks happy endings could be beneficial for the Ying and Yang of clients … mind you if Chris agrees it would be beneficial I will then need to fire him ( a la Trump) and go look for a massage professional who does not have whiskers and …..

Hi Ms Jo…. my honoree … Clinical Phyc shrink friend and coffee connoisseur …. Seem to recall you spoke to Chris about massage and trigger points …. Please advise me clinically about the benefits or otherwise of 'happy endings'… your fee … a Late each… for you and your (Hawaii tanned) surgeon mate…. Crème or Tropicana… your choise

But back to the here and now on the coast in Cambodia … where each day I am forced to look from my bungalow verandah out to sea towards a group of Islands sitting lazily on the horizon ...

He situation needed rectifying … so one day I decided instead of just looking at the Islands I would GO to the Islands … rent a grass hut and sit .. and… look back at the mainland.

I packed a very minimal swag (colorful shoulder bag I had purchased in Laos) left my small airplane carry on case in storage at the Cove Bungalows (with a big tip promised.. if it was still there when I returned) and headed down to the wharf at the main beach about 300 meters from my Bungalow.

But no boat to take me to my island paradise .. was anywhere to be seen.

I sat and waited and read more from my trusty Kindle …

About fifteen minutes passed and my reading was interrupted by a young man asking if I was his missing passenger ... For Bamboo Island? "yes" said I ...where is the boat? ..Oh!! .. it's further down there .... on the beach ... we had to take on stores .. Follow me.

I followed and eventually there in front of us was a LONG 'long boat' riding just off the beach … in the breaking waves. Locals were wading out through the low surf carrying bundles of eggs, bananas, water bottles, coke cola, bread, and other bags of vegetables and assorted goods.

So there was me with swag and T shirt and sandals and my long shorts ... My multiple pockets filled with my 2 wallets (another story) passport, a big wad of Us$ (that do not like water Cambodia is a us$ economy) and camera on my belt. My computer, iPad, Kindle, bathers, spare nickers tooth brush and paste and a spare T shirt were all in my swag….

" you get on boat .. We go Island now" .

I thought of whipping out $5 (equivalent of $50 here) and asking to be carried out…a la Indian Raj style.

But instead I striped down to my jocks .. crammed everything into my little swag … ignored the wolf whistles from the beach side bars .. and waded out to the long boat with swag held high ..... My excursion to MY luxury Island hide away .. had commenced.

The boat trip took just over and hour ... I was designated a plank of wood to sit on that was closest to the bow. The seas were medium but the long narrow shape of the long boat hull (about 5ft beam and 30ft long for you boaties) meant that every third or fourth big wave we went through sprayed me full on. I placed my swag behind my back out of touch of the spray (I hoped) … closed my eyes .. and enjoyed the cruzzze.

Meanwhile around mid ship a Chinese couple vomited over the side. Lucky for them (and others) the Chinese were sitting on the Lea side and their colorful discharges were carried by the wind … away from the boat and it's other passengers

Needless to say when we arrived at Bamboo island the boat again anchored about 'off the beach' and the surf walk was repeated.

First impressions once I made the beach were good. White sand beach ranging from 5 to 20 meters deep (depending on the tide) rising up to a line of coconut palms. The beach was about one kilometer in length with a dense tropical forest backdrop behind the palms. Along the beach just on the sand line were spread some ten thatched roof timber huts.

At one end closest to where I had waded ashore was a large twelve to fifteen meter diameter reception and bar and dining (open walled) thatched roof structure.

As I was first off … I was first served at reception (by a young Ozzie working there) … I scored hut number 1.

Now before going any further I need to tell you about my booking of this bungalow.

I booked through a mainland (Sihanouk) agent I called 'smiley' who assured me .. yes.. big bungalow on the beach on Bamboo Island. Yes there is toilet and shower "for your bungalow" … yes ... and breakfast 'yes'.

He assured me the island was beautiful and the accommodation very good ...

Mind you when I questioned him further as to exactly which island Bamboo island was out of all the islands I could see off the coast .. he was not sure !! .. I asked to see a map of the islands ... He did not have one !! ... I also asked what side of the island was the resort on ....like mainland or ocean side of island .... He had no idea !! ... Have you ever been there I asked ???... NO too expensive for me was his answer .... and all this in the most polite of conversations with a million smiles

RESULT I booked my island beach side bungalow with toilet and shower and breakfast for $16 a day with my constantly SMILING agent who … had no idea where my island was except that it was… as he said pointing to the beach and beyond ..."out there"

ME NOW .. I am on 'my island' writing to you all. By the end of this short up date you should all be familiar with where I have been hiding, where I am now and where I am heading.

NOW .. it is my second night on Bamboo Island and I am sitting on the timber porch of my little thatched hut .. Feet dangling out of my hammock and listening to the waves break lazily on the sand. From my hammock I can see the moonlight reflecting in sparkles of light off the waves as they break and roll onto the beach and stop some 8 meters from my hut.

Love my island 'beach hut' .. and Jeff… I feel it would come in under $2000 a sq meter to build … it is constructed of simple timber framed walls sheeted over with wide rough cut timber planks. Kind of magically suspended above is a roof covered with a palm thatch. My hut has a main front door and four windows The windows are ultra simple bush carpenter made timber sliding panels that do not do much more than give rudimentary privacy or darken the room marginally when slid closed. Inside there are two double beds …. (but for $16 no Jane included) ... outside on the porch is a hammock … my OFFICE ....

And that's it !!!

My toilet and shower ... well you may ask ??? … I have them .. but they are up atnear the bar / restaurant about 50meters travel ... So the smiling smiling smiling booking agent was correct I do have a shower and toilet .... "available"

Continued… Another day and night have passed and I am living in bliss .. I think I am without a doubt the oldest hippy here on the island ... but who cares ...

The young back packers are friendly and happy to chat on for ages about their adventures ... when they ask I tell them of my young days and my memories of the 60's ... one of them even commented as follows ... Geee man you were "there" BACK then .... God !! you must be ANCIENT!! And then they all laugh..., but it's a kind laugh.

One guy has Afro hair and the girls every so often ran their fingers through the fuzzy mass... purring .... I was very refrained and did not tell him 'my AFRO' in London in the flower child and free love awakening era .. Was BIGGER than his.

Last night I was forced to go and beg/purchase a torch and some spare batteries from a local for the grand sum of one dollar .. Torch was even LED ..very modern. I had been soooo proud of my little swag with minimal personal effects but after the electricity went off at midnight the first night and did not come back on for 18 hours (the norm I later found out) and me not even with a match just moonlight .. hence the reason I splurged on the torch.

Another thing I found (after smelling my arm pits) was that I had forgotten to bring soap .. no big deal (no Jane to impress) but I had not washed my hair for some days and after much swimming felt it was like time .... BUT… no soap sold on island and every one seemed to hoard any they had like gold ... never any left by accident in the 'water tub' and 'bucket' shower areas ...

But I was not to be defeated …I will let you into a secret …

I discovered a plastic bottle of'Toilet Duck' in the wash house/toilet block .... staff keep the toilets very clean … so for any of you who find you are missing soap or shampoo on your next visit to the Hyatt ... the news is that 'Toilet Duck' works wonders as a hair shampoo .... and even works on under arm ... and other areas … anyone interested in setting up a business with me write soon or be lost in the rush.

Actually as I write now ...Dylan is singing in the beach side restaurant … as I wait for my bacon and eggs breakfast at 11am. .. yes I still sleep well and long each night ... I know … nothing new about that for those of you who know me and my work play and sleep patterns.

Now time for a beach walk and an explore of the island .... chat more later.

A sad fact .. after my walk I met the Pommy owner of the lease for this half of the island ... and this half has been sold by the Cambodian Govt to a French company who plan to pump in $40 million to build three beach side resorts … each comprising bungalows and tree houses ...and lots more people ... and the rates may go a touch over $16…so Friends ... pack your bags and come quickly ... and enjoy the simple island life while it lasts.

My/your assignment now... If I/you choose to accept it ?? Find another island that is still in it's infancy !!

Next stop a crab meal in the 'crab capital of Cambodia... a beach side town called Kep ... Then over the border into my old friend Vietnam and up the coast .... Some sections of the coast being done with a motor bike under my bum and a desire for eating lots of fresh seafood cooked right there on the beaches by the locals as soon as they catch it ... In the past I have enjoyed many such meals of .. pippies, squid, octopus, crab and shrimp and a few strange other encrustations ... Hope this time will be similar.

I have attached a few photos

Hope this eMail finds all of you well and happy .... till we catch up again...

Cheers

Your mate

John

Ozzie John... to some