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We grudgingly left the paradise known as Koh Tao on Wednesday morning and proceeded with a 2 hour boat journey - this time in a catamarran which zipped nicely over the monstrous waves. Laura was slightly fearful but never-the-less we enjoyed a speedy return to mainland Thailand. No sooner had we stepped of the boat, then we hopped right on to a nice double decker bus bound for Bangkok. We were shown our designated seats... guess where? At the back - AGAIN! But this time we were on level 2 so the ride was a smooth as a baby's bum! The journey went surprisingly quickly and we got to Bangkok at about 9pm. We were dropped off right next to Khao San Road which is basically the equivalent of Bond Street or 5th Avenue - obviously not for its incredible fashion or the model-like people strutting down it but for it being the most well known street around! We managed to find a lovely hotel for a very small price - complete with air-con, Sky TV and finally, thank the Lord, a swimming pool! All for about 4 pounds each a night! Bloody bargain! We settled in and fell straight to sleep.
The following day we thought we would set off to explore Bangkok. We didn't really have anything planned except that we needed to get our cameras repaired or buy a new camera so that we could keep you lovely people entertained with our smashing photos. Unfortunately though, once we stepped outside of the hotel it seemed the weather was against us and a huge thunderstorm erupted right above our heads. Within 3 minutes we were absolutely soaked through. And it didn't help that a couple of young boys thought it would be funny to shoot water at us through a water gun. However, on closer inspection it seemed that quite alot of people were carrying water guns and there were several stores scattered around selling water guns. Hmmmm... the cogs in our brains whirred. Maybe there was something going on? To be on the safe side we thought it would be best if we purchased a water gun each too. So we did... and armed with our new weapons we hailed a tuk tuk and set off for a nearby camera shopping centre.
As soon as we set foot inside the centre the storm stopped and we seemed to have reached an area where no one was carrying a gun. Everywhere we stepped people eyed us suspiciously and their eyes warily travelled over our armed and dangerous hands. We spent the morning desperately seeking help on how and where we could get our poor cameras mended and we came accross a lovely gentleman who offered us his help. In the end he really was more of a hindrance and we began to get quite annoyed by his puppy-dog personality... especially when we made it clear we didn't need his help anymore. The final straw came when he asked Nyima for her email address and kindly gave her his mobile number in return. This is where good old Peggy-Sue came in and so if there is a [email protected] out there anywhere then we are truly sorry!
Our search for a camera repairman lead us down a dead end and so we decided to just buy a new one and treasure it with our lives. We left the camera centre and headed back to Khao San Road. Into absolute chaos and mayhem. We suddenly remembered the reason for all this - it was Thai New Year and to celebrate the Thais basically have a HUGE four day water fight! It seemed now that the entire population of Bangkok had migrated to Khao San Road, all armed with their own water gun... and the biggest water fight you have ever seen was taking place before of very eyes. Thank God we had our water guns! We loaded them up and fought our way down the road. At first we were very proud of our massive guns but after experiencing other peoples and realising that our guns produced a mere dribble out of their ends we were fighting a losing battle. Some guns had FOUR nozzles and other people just threw buckets of ice cold water! And to add insult to the injury not only was there water involved but flour, talcum powder and a strange clay-like substance that was unexpectedly slapped onto our faces! We battled our way through the hoards of warriors, desperately trying to protect our new camera from a liquid fate. Finally we made it back to our room... only to dump the camera, reload our guns and head back out into the warzone.
Because of the New Year there was some sort of parade going on right down the centre of Khao San Road. It consisted of Thai singing and dancing, a beauty pageant which seemed to be made up of the ugliest people in the entire world and a greeting from the Queen who was nothing like our Lizzie! We were frolicking in the midst of the fighting for about 4 hours non-stop when it suddenly struck us that we were bloody freezing! The fighting had calmed down a bit out of respect for the Queens visit so we headed indoors, got changed out of our wet clothes and went back out for a meal. But no sooner had we stepped through the door in our lovely dry clothes we were attacked by thousands of water sprays once again. Still we soldiered on and eventually stumbled accross a really unique Thai restaurant, McDonalds. And it was in here that we met possibly the drunkest girl ever! She was vile and she kept spitting food out of her mouth - even though she wasn't eating anything! She asked us question after question - but every question was the same! In the end we got quite sick of her and when we left we spotted her in the corner of the room having a full on conversation with a Ronald McDonald statue. We couldn't face any more water so we ran through the crowds dodging any water streams and thankfully made it safely back to our room. We decided to test out the pool and so we took a late night dip! It was extremely pleasant and the perfect end to an utterly fantastic day!
Today we wanted to get out and explore Bangkok for real. But the water fights had already started when we left our room at 9am. They had taken control of the whole of the city and it seemed that everything had come to a halt. Still we were told that the Grand Palace was a tourist resort open all day every day no matter what was going on. Again we hailed a tuk tuk and headed for the Grand Palace. We thought we had dressed relatively respectively, despite the heat, in our three-quarter length jeans and t-shirts. But no. That wasn't enough and we were made to put on full length skirts and disgusting postman-like shirts. And it was a swelteringly hot day. So we were not impressed. Still the Grand Palace itself was quite impressive and each building was very intricately decorated. We had a look round and then couldn't take the overwhelming heat any longer so we had to leave. Outside the gates of the Palace the fights were continuing so we decided not to get a tuk tuk back to the hotel - as they were very susceptible to bucketfuls of water, but instead get a taxi to ensure that we were fully covered at all times! But the taxi man could not quite reach Khao San Road due to the huge numbers of people blocking it from all angles, so we were dropped off about half a mile away with no idea which direction to head in, and surrounded by young children with fully loaded guns and literally bucketfuls of the strange clay substance. No matter how hard we tried we just couldn't dodge it and we got back to our hotel an hour later as filthy as pigs!
After our difficult and strenuous morning we decided we should treat ourselves and so we headed to the massage parlour built within the walls of our hotel! We all booked ourselves in for an aromatherapy massage as we had seen the ladies giving people a traditional Thai massage and we didn't fancy becoming contortionists. The aromatherapy massage was the 'gentlest' of all the massages however, we still semmed to be beaten black and blue and pushed to the very limit of our flexibility! We cooled the rest of the day off in the pool and had another early one as we had an early start the following morning.
Today we woke up at... 8am! It was so hard! But we were off to Safari World so an early start was necessary. The hotel staff told us the journey would take 2 hours but what did they know?! It only took about 20 minutes! Safari World is meant to be the biggest outdoor safari park in the world so we were very excited to see the thousands of roaming wild animals! But we think they had all gone back to Africa for a holiday. Seriously, Safari World does not even compare to West Midland Safari Park! We saw about 2 zebra, 1 ostrich, a rhino, 3 deer, a lion, a tiger, 2 bears and about 70,000 birds. After the disappointing safari we headed into the main park area to watch a few shows. Whilst walking around we spotted two orangutans wearing dresses sitting on a bench. We were invited to have a seat with them which we did but then when the baby one climbed onto Martha's lap she started to cry. Nyima, however kept well away from them as she is not the biggest fan of animals. And Martha has now decided she is going to become a fully fledged 'Save the Orangutans' leader when she gets home. We continued around the park and stopped to watch a Wild West Stunt Show. Notice we said stopped... because we did not stay to watch it as it was absolutely horrific! We also watched a dolphin and Beluga whale show and it officially turned Nyima into an animal lover! Well not quite, but she was asked if she would like to go up and kiss a Beluga whale. At first she was a bit apprehensive but then she pulled on her wellies and stepped out onto centre stage. The instructors gave the whale the sign and it leapt out of the water and gave our Nyima a peck on the cheek! They then repeated the sign, but this time it leapt out of the water and completely splashed her from head to toe! But the kiss was all it took to convince Nyima that her favourite animal was now the Beluga whale. We took a walk around the park a bit more and came accross the Orang Utan enclosure. There was no one else around so the men who looked after the Orang Utans gave us all a huge chunk of bread and let us feed them. We ended up playing catch with one particular Orang Utan who was hanging lazily on a metal pole. Out of about 65 pieces of bread thrown at him he managed to catch 1! And it was the final piece of Lauras bread!
We left Safari World at about 4pm hoping the water fights would be ceasing but when the taxi driver laughed when we told him we wanted to go to Khao San Road we decided they had probably not. Again we were dropped off about half a mile away and we fought our way through the clay throwing, water sloshing crowds back to the hotel. We spent the night in the pool again and met a lovely Bulgarian man. He was excellent at doing the Borat impression and we had dinner with him! He even offered to share some of his dinner with us! He really was a charmer!
The following day was the final day of the water fights (thank God!) and we couldn't face going outside! So we had a massive lie in and had a pool filled afternoon. Sorry that it is not more interesting than that!
On Monday the water fights officially STOPPED! Yay! So we stepped outside of our hotel to a clean and empty street! We did a little bit of exploring and improved our haggling skills. We also had our lunch somewhere that was not the hotel bar! In the evening we went to see a cabaret show. But it was no ordinary cabaret show. It was a ladyboy one! We caught a taxi to the hotel where it was being performed and we were shown to our seats right at the front! The lights dimmed and the show began...
Wow! It was probably the best thing any of us had ever seen! We were so amazed at the fabulous costumes and dance routines and seriously, the ladyboys could not have been any more 'boy' if they had tried! They were so much more womanly than us! Just you see if you can spot anything remotely manlike about them from our pictures! After the show they all lined up and we were allowed to have our photos taken with them. We had spotted an absolutely beautiful lady on stage who we all agreed could never ever have ever possibly been a man because she was just too utterly captivating. But then we said... 'can we have your picture?' and she replied 'yes' in a very manly voice. Whoopsie! But from the pictures, she looks like far more of a lady than we will ever be! All in all though we had an incredible night and we would definately recommend a ladyboy show to everyone!
Today we had to wake up at 5 bloody 30 in the morning as we had booked a trip to see the floating market. The minibus left at 7am and it was a 2 hour journey. But first of all we stopped at a cocunut sugar factory which was ... ummm interesting. We were given about an hour to look around and after 2 minutes we had seen everything. We sat down on a bench and rested our eyes... and suddenly out of the sky two lizards fell onto Laura who awoke with a startled walrus cry. We moved on from the coconut sugar factory and headed to the floating market. We boarded a little boat and the rower lady lead us up and down the market stalls and we bought a few bits and bobs but we can't say as they are gifts for the old parents! So you will have to wait to find out! After the boating market we had a look around the indoor market and a sudden inspiration struck us... remember we told you about how we met Fredrik and Erlend, the crazy Norweigans? They approached us in the sea and offered to play us some songs on their musical instruments. Well, whilst looking around the market we stumbled upon a small stall selling musical instruments. Our lightbulbs clicked on! A money making scheme was forming in our heads! Can you guess? We walked away very happy with our new purchases... three harmonicas, 2 picolo-type instruments and a recorder. All for roughly 2 pounds! We thought we would test out our new found love of music performing and so we found a group of about 10 Thai people who were basking in the shade. We piped up our harmonicas and did a little dance for them and it wasn't long before they all jumped to their feet and started dancing along with us! It was a truly magical moment and we walked away fully satisfied with the sweet harmonies we had just produced! We have decided to name our new band Rock Hard Bed after the beds we have so far slept on. Any future gigs we intend to do we will notify you beforehand obviously but just because you are family and friends you don't get tickets for free. Keep checking for more information though!
Anyway this blog has taken about 2 hours to write so you had better enjoy it! We are setting off to Chiang Mai in a few hours for our final Thailand stop. The journey is going to take 11 hours which none of us are looking forward to! Hope all is okay back at home! Byeeeeeeeeeee xxx
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