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Our man in...
Hola amigos,
Apparently it's September. Bit of a shocker that one. I didn't see it coming to be honest (which is poor planning because for as long as I can remember it has always followed August). For some reason it has suddenly dawned on me that I left home a long time again. Why when planning this thing I couldn't't equate seven months with being what it is..a long time...I don't know. I thought it was like a little holiday, a sort of extended trip to the isle of wight if you like. Someone, who shall remain nameless, even e-mailed last week that they couldn't't remember what my face looks like. This is a tad disturbing...although insert you own "good for them" type punchline. HONK!
Anyway, I've been idling down through Argentina in the last month and now am happily ensconced in Bariloche, in Argentina's Andean snowy lake district. I even conquered the devil's own satanic highway, the chair lift, and skied. Which is all very nice thank you. By the way, I took that photo in the top left here.How good am I?!
Turn away from the role call of name's that are impossible to pronounce without the obligatory look of disgust from the locals...Quebrada de Huamauca and Quebrada the Cafayette, Salta, Cordoba, Alta Garcia, Mendoza, Nuequen, El Bolson, Villa la Angostura and Bariloche.
I've made a discovery. Argentina is a great place and you should all come here. It is THE seriously under rated country ever ever (volume III) perhaps. Places like India and Australia are well known but nobody really knows anything about Argentina apart from the holy trinity...Maradona, steak and the Falklands (it turns out "The Belgrano" was actually named after someone). Which is strange really for a country the same size as India and three times as high as Oz.
I like Argentina and I own a blue and white striped football shirt. What of it? I'm not ashamed.
So, to sell my case I've disappeared up my own posterior (last night I had a 15 hour bus journey and a Jennifer Lopez/Richard Gere movie to drive me to this)...
"Argentina is beautifully flawed"...Discuss:
The rest of South America, to a man, thinks Argentinians are arrogant, aloof and see the rest of the continent as backward whereas they consider themselves the long last part of Europe that some fiend (probably Thatcher or Beckham) has jettisoned in to the Atlantic. By and large this is true. They are arrogant and consider themselves superior. But then, it's because they have much reason to.
Argentina really does have perhaps the best range of crown jewels in the world. It has desert, wild west rocky valleys, rain forest, jungle, the world's best and biggest waterfalls and glaciers, the highest mountain outside of the Himmalays, skiing, the biggest dinosaur fossils in the world, the world's best wilderness (the size of Britain) - Patagonia - and the small matter of the end of the world. Others may have bits but Argentina has it all and no one one knows.
The people and the culture are a mix of Latino and European. They are very different to any other Latin nation. Everything about them mixes the sophistication of Europe with the emotion and chaos of South America.
It's a late, late culture. Nobody eats before nine. You go to a restaurant at eleven, a bar at midnight and a club at 2am and finish at 6am. Why be in bed at midnight when you can be having diner? Ah, sophistication on a plate. Which is usually full of steak. To be a vegetarian here is to be served chicken and ham. The steak is large, stupendous and unbeatable. I have never tasted anything like it. They stand on the street grilling it and you can rock up for the meal of your life and a litre of (questionable) beer for two pounds. Curb your enthusiasm at the right moment as the whole cow is eaten; I have narrowly avoid the intestines and the gall bladder.
But, but, but...the rest of the food has seriously gone array, as if all that effort in steak has corroded their brains (no precedent there). Amidst a whole range of the odd and the bad the country has an obsession with sweet things. Nothing savoury on sale (no bacon or crisps but for the national treat...crustless sandwiches), it drives my little northern European bonce mad. The high altar is a sticky sickly brown syrupy thing called Dulce de Leche: caramelised milk and sugar. If they could I think they would coat the steaks in it (but then it would melt and smother the barbecue and it wouldn't work really, bad idea).
The people are the most social, outgoing and hormonally charged (bing bong) I have met but they are also without doubt the most likely to que jump you, call forth a small portion of the Atlantic and deposit it in front of you and generally walk around with the understand everyone else doesn't exist. No one mentions the Malvians (ahem) though, they don't seem bothered and are more intersted to know if you follow Chelsea (because of Crespo) but, ahoy, every town has a street and mural to bare witness to the national psychological issue.
A hundred years ago the country was one of the richest in the world but for all they have they are continually mired in economic poo, chronic political corruption, villains and barely hidden poverty they are far too proud to show. Bad times especially after the bottom fell out of the country four years ago - the cash point won't let me take out as much money as I did in Bolivia. Their history is full of gremlins - ever wondered why there are not many indigenous people in Argentina or exactly what something called a ¨Dirty War" involves? (and it's nothing to do with ¨dirty protest¨). They could be so rich in money to match their pride if only... . But for now they are poor. Ironic: Culture, sophistication, pride and all the outdoors in the world but as poor as a night out in the Oracle.
And I can't even write about the best bit of all as I haven't been there, Buenos Airies. Ah, to go see a Boca game...
Their living national hero is fitting...A supremely talented berk.
Ok, off to the deep dark heart of Patagonia now. New photos on line at www.statraveljournals.com/mrpaulmullens , ever eager to please they include pornographic pictures of beef for the gentlemen, fluffy St Bernard dogs for the ladies, encounters with the Malvinas for the true Brits and a new vodka mixer for the party people. Also six months after Mark found it on a beach I have learnt how to use the night feature on my camera, sort of. The fun I have.
Huesta Luego,
Paul.
I HAVEN'T LAUGHED SO MUCH SINCE MA CAUGHT HER T1TS IN THE MANGLE.
(copyright K. Bates / Pete 'n' Dud)
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