Let's get one thing clear: ducks are stupid. As we've cruised along the various French rivers and canals since purchasing our 'bateau plaisance' Liberty last September, we've seen all manner of wildlife, from elegant herons and huge rat-like Coypus to sunbathing turtles and the aforementioned IQ-challenged canards. It's been fun, but revealing too. Take, for example, herons. Usually they stand on high-alert on the canal bank, watching intently for any sort of f...

In vino veritas... In wine lies truth. Basically, if you've had a drop, don't try fibbing because brain and tongue disengage in the presence of alcohol. Hence I am writing this at 9.55 am before a drop has passed by lips, so that you'll know that everything I say from here on is the real truth, the whole truth and nothing but. Why bring up the subject of wine now in particular after all these months in France? Because we have sailed up to the doorstep of the Mec...

Liz has taken up pole dancing. Not in a nightclub or anything... she does it on the bow of the boat, much to my great pleasure and amusement. Okay, okay... if you read these blogs regularly you'll know by now that there's always a catch, and in this case that's literally what it is. But first, Canal Locks 101: An Introduction... On a canal, a lock is that marvel of engineering that enables you to take your boat up or downhill. It allows canal traffic to go from...

Last Friday we reached a peak in our canal-boating adventure, literally, because once you go through a lock called Mediterranee a few kilometres before Toulouse you are on the watershed of the Canal du Midi. This is the part of the canal where the water is introduced, originating from the Black Mountains to the north. Because canals aren't natural waterways, water has to be delivered to them and they constantly need to be topped-up. Eau really? Yes. I'm not sure...

Yes, an almost disastrous day... our second major scare since buying the boat, and one that could have seen us in deep - literally. It started beautifully. We had moored in the country on the Canal du Midi on a peaceful stretch of water, on the doorstep of the next lock which we anticipated going through first thing in the morning. During the night I'd got up for a call of nature and decided to peek outside to see what I could see. In a nutshell: stars, and lot...