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Belle's Tales.
My final entry comes from home, this time last week I was getting ready for the airport and I can't believe I've been home for a week already.
My jet lag is beginning to wear off, I now have a better idea of what day and time it is but still when I'm lying awake at 4am my mind inevitably drifts off to Nepal and I wonder what everyone is doing there, what the boys would be doing and hoping that there have been no shortages of food. I do have some emotional moments when I think about them and I'm missing being in Nepal alot. Of course you do handovers to the new volunteers but you always worry if things are ok and its hard to let go and trust someone else with your little cubs, I only want the best for them.
I have seen others 'acting' in the best interests of the boys of GPPM but getting it horribly wrong or using the boys to serve their own interests. Its hard to stand by and watch people exploit and abuse children for personal gain, even more so when you have strong bonds with the kids which is why some of my previous entries have a (occasionally) strong sense of frustration, believe me the private emails contained stronger language!
Yes Nepal can be frustrating at times as it seems as though little progress is ever being made but that is part of Nepali culture, we can't expect everything to be rushed because thats how it works in the Western world. Nepal is a different culture, one that we have chosen to work in, and by doing so, have chosen to accept certain aspects about their culture. It is now that I will take this opportunity to highlight the fact that the women on the board really try hard to provide for the boys, I am so glad they are there, the main difference is that they actually care for and about my little cubs. You go girls.
GPPM, although they have their own issues and problems are doing well, food shortages aside.
*In one orphanage a manager had to be physically manhandled into a taxi and forced into detox at the nearest hospital as he was getting drunk and beating the kids, even pulling a knife on them. He was kicked out 2days later for persistant rule breaking but now is fairly sober but has an new addiction: Weed. Still lazy but more placid, take your pick of the lesser of two evils.
*Another orphanage manager has not paid rent and so the land owner has put up barbed wire round the place to get the kids out the house, especially nice for the little ones who trip over and land in it.
*One set of managers send the kids out to the markets begging instead of sending them to school to try and salvage an education.
These are some of the other problems we are dealing with. I've always been a person who will get angry before I'll get upset, not the best trait to have I admit but the behaviour of some of the managers such as above has actually managed to make me both seeth with anger and cry at the same time as wanting to smack sense into them.
Sometimes you do wonder if you are helping or encouraging this lifestyle, the more foreign aid, the less they will have to pay for as they engage in games where they will try to pay for less and less by jeopordising the kids health and playing on the emotions of us volunteers. I don't know whether to pity these people who believe this is a normal way of life or again to smack sense into them... can I do both?
Corruption aside, my time spent at GPMM or at Charity more than compensated for any feelings of doubt or helplessness.
So I put up some of my favourite photos from my time away and here are a few of my favourite things:
Best Bits in Nepal:
*Being back at GPPM.
*Teaching at Charity and falling in love with another group of kids.
*Bungy Jumping.
*Atempting to cook dal bhat with Santosh because no-one else was there to make it for the boys. Quality bonding time.
*Making new friends.
Worst things about Nepal:
*Most boards/ orphanage managers in general and the depths some people will sink to make money from children
*When the roof at Charity came down and bricks nearly hit our nursery kids and my class 5. Thats also one of the sacriest moments!
*Seeing my boys at GPPM cry when I was leaving and having to walk away from them.
Its also great to go back and meet up with the nepali friends I made last year and see that a year apart is nothing between friends.
So thats it for another year in Nepal, who knows where next years journal will come from, haven't planned that far in advance yet. As for Nepal, I want nothing more than for the kids that we are involved with than a bright future. They most definately deserve it considering how happy, smiling and brave they are despite some of their tragic personal circumstances such as both parents dying or simply being the unwanted child. I wish them all the love and luck in the world.
As for everyone back at home, your messgaes of love support and encouragement were appreciated and needed at times when I wasn't sure I was contributing much. Thank you.
So it's a wrap on my travel tales for another year at least, see you all around.
Much love
Lauren
xxxxxx
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