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So... We got the bus to the Vietnamese border all OK, yes it was uncomfortable and long and we were the only foreigners but it was OK. I mean, OK, if you don't mind continuous honking of the horn (and I mean CONTINUOUS) swerving all over the road to avoid pooultry, vehicles, buffallos etc. And also, the breaking, OK so it wasn't smooth and at one point I fell totally off my seat and on to the floor because we did an emergency stop, but it was OK. And yes, when we got to the border we were asleep at the back of the bus and all the lovely people on the bus didn't wake us, so when they had completed all their paperwork and were ready to leave we still had to go through which took the longest because we are foreigners and OUR bags have to go through a scan because clearly it is us that is dodgy, not the locals. I mean OK, we stopped 73 times so the guys on the bus (there was only 2 other women I think and they were both Laos or Vietnamese) could 'relieve' themselves, or eat (again) or spit, oh no, silly me, they do that constantly and frequently out of the windows or the doors, luckily not inside the bus I suppose! OK, so we made it through the border, sniffer dogs and all, we got to the bus station then we had the problems. I didn't actually have enough money to buy my bus ticket and Caz only had a couple of dollars over what hers was, so we paid what we had as a down payment under the understanding that I would get taken to an ATM and pay the rest along the way. However, I did not realise this would mean being taken into town on the back of a moped being driven by someone who looked like Freddy Kruger! I've never seen the film but Caz assures me. His face was burnt or something, I don't know, but it looked like you could pick it off, it was like plasticine, just sort of been squidged on. Caz waited with our big backpacks and I ventured off into town, petrified. There was no foot rests so my legs were just hanging out the sides of the moped, he stopped at one bank which was clearly shut then took a side road, then another and another, until the side roads became sidewalks! Literally, tiny walk ways which I wouldnt imagine bikes are allowed down! Eventually he stopped at a house and a man came out, that's when I thought I was going to be killed! The man said that his 'friend' the driver didn't speak English so brought me to him to translate. He asked if I needed to exchange money, I said I needed an ATM. He told the driver where one was and I was praying we would be on our way, but then, he said I should get a motorbike to Hoi An. I was petrified on the back of this moped as it was, it was raining alot so the roads were wet, there is NO organisation on the roads at all hardly, literally everyone just honks their horns and plays chicken until someone gets out the way! NOT FUN! I kindly declined, little did I know that back at the station the bus had started driving off, (with Caz and our bags on it) They told Caz that I had got on a motorbike and was already on my way to Hoi An and that she should get a motorbike too! She tried to get our bags off the bus but they just laughed and said dont worry, she said she wanted to wait at the station for her friend to come back but they insisted everything was OK. Eventually, the bus stayed at the station. Freddy brought me to an ATM and stood right behind me, me saying "Im OK" and "Thank you" did not get rid of him. The two ATMs there didnt work so he took me even furhter away to another one! All the locals were staring at me and there appeared to be no other tourists around. I was hoping Caz was OK and my bum and legs were killing me from holding my legs out the side!! At the next ATM I had success and covered my pin carefully and withdrew money. The only problem was I had no real concept of how much to withdraw! The guide said at the time of printing 28,000 Dong is = to 1 pound but I didnt know if that was still valid. So I took out 1,500,000! It wasn't the most nor the least, (actually only about 50 quid I think) He didnt try and take it off me yet nor ask me to give him any so I wondered what was going to happen, I was desperately trying to recognise places we were driving past but it all looked the same, I was also petrified of the roads, understandably. As we were driving along he kept answering his phone, I could hear a mans voice on the other end screaming about motorbikes, they had obviously planned to sell us to this motorbike (Easy rider) tour company and make some money. We weren't going for it though. But whoever kept phoning him insisted he must make me go on the motorbike! He kept saying "Motorbike OK" and I kept saying "no thank you". It was also nice that when he put his phone back in his pocket he groped the inside of my thigh whilst pretending to struggle, it was so disgusting, unfortunately the people we had come across were not very nice but we would be free of them soon. When I got back to the bus station our bus wasn't where it had originally been! But, it was at the station in another place! Phew. Caz and I were both shaking our heads and clearly concerned about our situation. I paid the driver and he pointed us over to an old American school bus. It was a local bus to Hoi An, we were in Da Nang. They insisted we sat in the front seat even though the rear was empty. I didn't understand why but we got in the front. Then as we drove really slowly around town we understood. They CRAMMED the back of that bus with people, luggage, produce, bikes etc. not even stopping at the er, bus STOPS to let people on, one woman looked about 70yrs old and he didn't even stop for her, a youngish guy hops off the back to take her luggage and she must hop on the bus while it strolls along at a few miles an hour, then it speeds up again ringing the bell to entice more customers. After we were fully loaded it headed to Hoi An. Once there we got dropped at the station, unfortunately there were no tuk tuks so we had to get on the back of yet another moped! This time, the driver had Cazs big backpack on his front and me on the back wearing my big back pack!! I dont know how they drive it but he didnt even seem phased! We asked to be taken to a specific hotel but they took us to one with a similar name. It was a high rise hotel which looked very posh. We asked to see a room but were pretty sure we couldn't afford it. We went up in the LIFT (Wow how posh!) and were shown a stunning room. It had a balcony with table and chairs, two big beds, AC or a fan, a bath and shower with hot water and Sky TV! That room was $20. Ok, so that's only 10 pounds but out of our budget. So we asked to see a cheaper room, this room was almost identical but it didnt have the balcony (It was pissing it down so a balcony was not the height of our necessities anyway!) This room was $12 but we knocked him down to $10 and took it! We couldn't believe how nice it was and only 2.50 pound a night! We were both filthy so Caz took a shower and me a bath (The water was black with bits floating in it when I got out) and we watched films (Grudge ll and another scary film :oS ) and ordered dinner in our room. After 36 hours on the road we were desperate for sleep so tucked up and caught up on it.
The next day we got up and had breakfast in the hotel, It was overlooking the small, but sweet, swimming pool, unfortunately the weather was still bad (Raining and floods over pretty much all of S.E.Asia) so we decided to explore town. There wasn't really and 'tourist spots' we wanted to see so we thought we would just walk around. We met a lovely American girl called Emily who had been there a few days and had nothing to do so tagged along and showed us around. It was raining so bad i bought a crappy plastic mac. It was 50p or something but seriously hideous! I didnt feel so bad as ALL the locals were wearing them! We stopped off at a tailor shop where Emily had had some stuff made and Caz got measured up for a suit, trousers, skirt and jacket. She was quoted 60 quid for all three, not bad considering its made just for you. We then went around town, it was again, quite quaint, much busier than Louang Prabang but pretty and it was littered with lots of nice art galleries and shops selling lovely things. I bought a 100% silk sleeping bag. It has a pillow cover built in too and cost less than 2 pounds! Amazing. A good practical buy I think :oD We stopped at a place Emily had been recommended by some friends. As soon as we walked past we could see why! The cakes in the window looked exquisite! Cheesecakes with chocolate swirls on top and tartes and couissants etc. It all looked fantastic! We each got a couple of scoops of their homemade ice cream! It was yummy! We then walked towards the japanese covered bridge. Legend has it that there was a sea creature in the river producing bad crops or something like that, so they built three bridges. One in it's head in Japan, one in it's heart, this one in Hoi An and one in its legs in Malaysia I think.... The rods to support the bridge were meant to have been driven into its heart killing it. Looking at it, it was just a run down faded old red-painted bridge. But maybe that was because it was still raining lots, maybe that was because it's the truth. We took a walk along the river which, in parts, continued on to the pavement, it doesnt take too much rain and this place floods, a large part of it used to be under water years ago. Emily had to head off to catch a bus so Caz and I continued walking around. There was an open fronted business that contained women embroidering on fabric. It was amazing, they were so fast and the work was beautiful! When Caz was looking a man outside asked where I was from, I told him England and he opened his jacked to reveal his very old, very tatty England football shirt. He started telling me how much he LOVES England. He took us into his shop opposite and asked us to look around, it was one of the takier shops selling t-shirts and bags so we didnt want to buy anything. Caz mentioned that she wanted to try snake-wine. He said he had some and we could drink! He took us through the hall at the back of the shop and into his 'home' a matress on the floor, cooking facilities and sink in one room, it was full of nik naks and laundry hanging to dry. We sat on the matress and he pulled out a huge plastic container which looked like it had bits of bark in it and weeds. He poured some into a smalled jug and got three shot glasses. I said I didnt drink but that Caz would have some, (Someone needed to know what was going on if she got drugged!) She did. He gave us fruit pieces to eat (and to take away the edge of the wine) She said it was quite strong but OK. Then he got out bits and bobs that he obviously wanted us to buy, things he'd painted, and also lots and lots of photos of his family and friends from England (and all over the place) He was an animated fellow and totally nuts! He poured him and Caz a total of three shots and then we prepared to leave after writing in his guestbook where everyone had said how friendly he was and thanked him for the wine! He said he would walk us to the local temple. It wasn't much of a temple, it had a few craftsmen inside making things and a very, very modest semi-religious structure, but again it was raining so maybe it was my opinion! He then took us into a 'bar' a few plastic chairs around a plastic table in what appeared to be the front of someones house. He bought some more wine (This time totally clear served in recycled glass bottles) and poured him and Caz a shot each. When Caz smelt it she pulled a disgusted face, this stuff was stronger! She sipped it but couldn't drink much and said it felt like fire inside her! He got some more fruit, a small, oval, green fruit that was similar inside to an apple but harder and not as sweet. He dipped his into salt and ground chilli pepper and ate it! Caz hardly touched her shot and eventually he drank it. When we were ready to go (we didn't stay too long as there was a totally crazy man on our table - Minh, the guy we were with pointed at him and did the crazy hand signal and said he was crazy because he was from India!? The crazy guy gestured behind Minh that he was talking alot of rubbish. It was quite funny, all the other old men just sat around all day smoking and drinking this lethal wine getting pissed, Dad, I know you must be very jealous!) When we were about to leave he said Caz must pay 10,000 Dong for what she had consumed, it was blatantly alot cheaper than that really and she probably paid for his whole days drinks and salty-chilli-fruit but it was well worth it. (ps. 10,000 is only about 30p!)
We continued walking around and got quite hungry so went back to the place we had been at earlier and ate dinner. I had salad with sauteed potatoes, bacon pieces, boiled eggs and bread! It was delicious, Viatnemese and western food in Laos is the best we've come across so far!
We went back to the tailor shop where in the few short hours since we'd been gone they had nearly completely made Caz's suit! She tried it on and it was lovely and only needed a couple of small alterations! They said to come back in the morning when it would be finished. Back at the hotel we showered again, we were FILTHY and had brown splatters all up the back of our legs from the rain and puddles! We booked our train for the next day to go to Ho Chi Minh (Formally Saigon) and got some sleep.
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