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I peed onto the railway track.
The Asian style squat toilet in the train from Chiang Mai to Bangkok is simply a hole in the train floor allowing your waste to flow from you, straight onto the railway tracks. To my right, looking out a small barred window is a toxic, stagnant river, blackened from an endless view of garbage. Roosters are the only sound at the early hour of 6am. I can only hear them though, for they are camaflauged in the convoluted scene before me. Houses are abundant but just shacks made of what you and I would have thrown to the dump as garbage materials. There is no sign of life beyond a single pelecan bird and I wonder how it survives. Then I remember there are people in this scene, many many people with their heads resting on boxes or maybe a bag of garbage to support their necks as they sleep in these slums just two hours outside of Bangkok. The air, as usual, is thick, hot and polluted. I can feel a layer of moisture sitting heavy upon my skin. My eyes well with tears as I stare out the bathroom window, forgetting where I stand and that there may be a que waiting to use the toilet; waiting to further pollute the scene before me - literally peeing in the backyards of these people's houses.
It is a constant struggle for me being in Thailand. Because I was born elsewhere, I have been given great advantages in life.
For example, there is a man in Phuket who has such a deformation of his back that at standing height his back bends forward so dramatically his head is a mere foot from the ground. He walks every morning, midday and evening through to night selling necklaces. Life for anyone in that situation is very hard, but because he lives here it is much worse. Back home he would receive health care and financial benefits to help lessen his burden. His reality is one I am so limited in ability to relate or understand.
I hate being a tourist. Up until entering Asia I was able to avoid feeling like a typical tourist. Now I struggle with it every day. I try to read up a little and learn a few words of the local language so that I can attempt to be as respectful as possible to the people and place I am visiting. But in the end I'm overall ignorant and a tourist just like everyone else. Some people I've met along the way make me so embarrassed I want to pack it all in and go home immediately. Some tourists treat the locals like second class citizens; I'd even go as far to say sometimes speaking to them like you would a slave. This makes me cringe. I also struggle with bartering. I know it is accepted here and if you don't do it at all you will get ripped off. However, where is it you draw the line? When is it a reasonable price and when are you taking advantage? Some people barter down so low that they are willing to not make a purchase over a measly 20 Baht. That's just 60 cents. 60 cents!! That amount of money is significant to a Thai sales person and meaningless to the foreigner. Would you fight over 60 cents or talk down to the sales rep at The Gap because you thought that pair of jeans you wanted was 60 cents overpriced? It's a harder life here in every respect.
Although I see much saddness, I also see a people who in many respects are very happy. Some Thais have shared with me how much they love this country. This is a country and a people who smile through rough times and accept all people of all nationalities and genders without judgement - things we should all practice much more.
- comments
Dan L Man... I can't agree more about the part you wrote about disrespectful tourists. We saw a lot of things that made us sick - especially in vang vieng (screaming and throwing garbage at them, s*** like that). Also terrible when people take pictures without asking as though the people are monkeys in a zoo. The unfair bartering is horrible as well - it's all about getting a fair price for both people and having fun! I always have to laugh when a tourist has a piss fit because they got charged 20 baht too much for a Tuk Tuk or meal (do people forget that a taxi ride is easily 20 bucks back home?) their loss though - it takes the fun out of life and also you run the risk of making a Thai person lose face which can get you in deep s*** real fast I figure all you can do is just be that much more friendly and try to learn their culture. :) keep your chin up though, I fell in love with Thailand and Cambodia. The people are incredible especially considering that so many have it really tough.
Mom That's my girl......keep it all in perspective! We are indeed priviledged people who far too often take things for granted. Love you!!!
Wilhelmus Caspar Smulders JB You are quite the young woman. I am proud to have you as my niece .... even though I snuck in the back door. Looking forward to seeing you and hearing in person about your trip. Love Ya ....... UB