Saigon is the alternate name for Ho Chi Minh City's (HCMC) District 1
but is affectionately used interchangeably by most people to describe
the city whole. We arrived once more suffering the after effects of
the rice wine (thanks Chinh!) and also slightly weary as the arrival
time was closer to midnight than wake up time!

Once again the hotel wasn't ready forbes and we all marvelled at quite
how many unconscious taxi drivers appeared to be living in our hotel's
reception area.

Chinh, as normal, took us off for morning exercise and we had the best
yet! 7 out of 10 of us were taking part in an aerobics session which
involve lots of pelvic thrusting whilst flapping our arms like a
chicken with our hands on our ears. It all sounds very strange and, to
be honest, it probably looked even odder but a healthy sweat was
worked up in time for breakfast.

Following morning exercise, the restaurant Chinh had selected for
brekkie was not yet open so we headed off for a small guided tour of
the area on foot. We saw such highlights as the post office (useful as
we all needed to post our tailored clothes from Hoi An home), the most
expensive mall in Vietnam, the early morning markets getting up and
running (it was still only 5am) and also the small army of little old
ladies who sweep the streets every morning to clear the huge amounts
if rubbish that the people of the city simply dump unceremoniously on
the roadside.

Finally, breakfast time arrived and we were weakly ushered into Pho
2000 ready to devour a horse. Sadly, even though we were in Vietnam,
pack animals of any sort weren't on the menu so I had to make do with
Pho Ga (chicken noodle soup). And very yummy it was too!

By this point in our trip, Dan and I, under the watchful tuition of
Chinh, had picked up enough working Vietnamese to be able to order all
of the food we wanted and operate in a holiday style language
environment. It was amazing how much difference speaking a little but
of the language made. It must have been a legacy from French
occupation! During the course of the tour, Dan and I practiced our new
phrase of the day on unsuspecting shopkeeps across the country and our
favourite as always as follows:

Sin jow - hello

Cho mot pho bo/ga la mun - give me a beef/chicken noodle soup please

Pho Bo to go! Always put a smile on my face

Cum urn - thank you

Tinh tien? - how much?

Cum urn, hen gup lie - thanks, see you later

And so it went on but you see, Vietnamese 101 complete!

Anyways, on the final day, in Pho 2000, Dan and I did all the work and
Chinh took a back seat apart from to interject to translate some of
our terrible pronunciations on occasion. For those of you not in the
know, Vietnamese is a tonal language and the same written word can be
pronounced up to 6 ways, each with differing meaning. This being the
case, sometime a wry smile would cross Chinh's face as he realised we
weren't in fact asking for a cup of rabbit but in actuality we wanted
water. The real problem here was though that when Chinh said the
different tones and meanings, I couldn't hear ANY difference at all!
I'm not sure I'll be able to pass Vietnamese 201!

The other exciting thing about Pho 2000 was the impressive clientèle
that frequented the place. Indeed, so famous was this restaurant that
Bill Clinton himself had visited for a bowl of pho. There were
pictures of proud looking waiting staff and the secretary fumbling ex
president plastered all over the walls. I may have even sat in the
same seat as the great man himself! Although judging by the regularity
and vigourousness with which the staff cleaned the stools in the
place, I'm not sure if any of his greatness were left to rub off on
me, having been squeezed into a bucket of Vietnamese dettol.

I didnt spend the entire trip living on pho bo to go but a good
proportion of our breakfasts consisted of the fine concoction because
it cost about 30p and was yummy and could also be personalised with
all manner of condiments to take on a different taste. That and the
fact that I didnt learn the word for bread until I got to Nha Trang so
choice was somewhat limited!

Moving on! We finished pho and headed if for a quick wander around the
morning markets before a fleet of motomen swooped into sight (in
formation) and came to a stop, White helmets style (well almost). We
jumped on and headed off for a whistle stop tour of the city.
Thankfully Dan and I had spent some time in Saigon previously so were
a bit more used to the driving standard which seemed to plummet to an
all time low here; so we were more prepared than most when some
outlandish manoeuvres took place.

We first went to the national War Museum which was a highly patriotic
affair painting both French and Americans as evil fools who had tried
to break the might of a nation (I mostly concurred) and also painted
joe average Vietnamese farmer as hero and saviour who had fought with
valour and courage to overthrow the invading tyrants on many
occasions. There was also a very interesting area basically blaming
any physical disability in children for the past 40 years on the
American use of Agent Orange - I wasnt so convinced of this one.

Following the war museum we headed to the largest Christian church in
Vietnam, known as Notre Dame and actually bearing a striking
resemblance to the French version. Next door was the old Post Office
which was an extremely impressive building sporting paintings on the
walls which told of the advent if modern communications etc. It was
fantastic.

Next we rode around to see the Independence Palace which was simply
renamed from the previous incarnation as the Revolution Palace.
Finally we headed home taking in some of the more impressive hotels
and monuments along the way but it did seem that HCMC wasn't all that
compared to Hanoi. More profitable and certainly more progressive but
it was nowhere near as cultured or emotive. On the way home, we
carried out perhaps the most entertaining manoeuvre I had seen in
Vietnam: when faced with a one way street, the motomen simply mounted the
kerb and rode the wrong way down the road as this was obviously much
quicker than adhering to anything so limiting as traffic regulations.
'Pah! I laugh in the face of the law!' I though the whole thing was
absolutely hilarious. 9 motorbikes beeping and wildly gesticulating at
pedestrians to get out of the way so they could break the law!
Tremendous. I think I even laughed out loud a little as I came to the
realization that this was just how it was.

The next day, we headed to see the Cu Chi Tunnels. It was a good couple
of hours outside the city and I took the opportunity to catch up on
the sleep I has missed the previous evening. Dan, I and a couple from
Oz had gone to the night market for a few souvenirs and somehow, a
couple of beers had been drunk, the ladies had disappeared and Dan,
Scotty and myself found ourselves playing DJ in a random little pub in
De Tham street (the Saigon equivalent of Khao San Rd). Now as long as
we kept drinking beers and pumping out the tunes both the bar owner (a
slightly forward 50yr old named Joy) and our adoring audience seemed
happy! We played all the best tunes and as more beer was consumed,
sang along too - much to the delight of other customers I am sure!
Needless to say, it was a late finish although it was a trifle later
for Scotty who despite leaving nearly an hour before us, managed to
arrive home about 20 mins after, despite it only being a 15 min walk
between bar and hotel! He still doesn't know he went.

We headed to the Cu Chi tunnels and the first thing we endured was the
hilarious propaganda video describing the valiant efforts of the
Vietnamese people to resist the 'terror from the sky of the devil
American bombs'. It was a 1950s movie which was almost cliche in its
cheesiness and even Chinh had to admit that it was pretty terrible.

Cu Chi tunnels are the best working example of the thousands of miles
if underground tunnels dug by the Vietnamese, firstly during the
French occupation and the during the American war. This network alone
consisted of nearly 300km of tunnels over 3 levels in some places.
This network allowed the Vietnamese resistance to continue living
unseen and launch attacks on Americans by surprise. Indeed, the
tunnels themselves were designed incorporating booby traps both above
and below the surface so woe betide any uninitiated tunnel rat who
dared to enter.

Whilst being a tad contrived (mechanically operated dummies operating
tools in bunkers) it was actually an amazing insight into how these
resilient and resourceful people existed in the face of such hardship
and adversity. They came up with so many ingenious ways to evade
detection and if they were to prevent capture. The other thing that
amazed me was the tiny size if the tunnels. The smallest amongst us
was Mel and even she had difficulty squeezing into the entrance hole.
Truly remarkable. We all got to experience the claustrophobia and
darkness if the tunnels by going through a short stretch but these
ones had been enlarged to accomodate the Western bulk after a few
tourists had become stuck and been the recipients of rather
undignified rescue solutions!

By this point in the trip, Chinh really had become a friend and not
just the tour guide. As such, we managed to convince him to come out
with us for a final dinner. The vegans/veggies came too and it also
happened to be Australia Day so the Aussies were in high spirits and
prepared to drink beer like it was going out if fashion. We asked him
to choose a restaurant he liked in Saigon that we could go to together
to celebrate the final day of our Intrepid time together. He chose
this amazing outdoor BBQ restaurant which just happened to be a
stone's throw from the most popular Aussie bar in the city! Once again
this was a mark of the man; he always pit the needs of the group first
whilst making it seem really relaxed and giving us a great time.

We had an awesome night that final evening. We ate until bursting and
I learnt how to properly prepare tiger prawns for the table top BBQ
when they plonked a plastic bag of live ones on the table. You have to
take a cocktail stick and cut the tendon that runs down their belly to
stop the being able to kick. If you don't, they have a tendency to act
out the dying disco when placed on top of hot coals and subsequently
end up flying through the air into somebody's beer! Mind you, beer
basted prawns do taste very nice.

We celebrated in style (apart from when the revelry of the table next
door downing drinks ended up with one of them being very sick all over
the floor in front of the vegans) and departed for the Aussie bar to
do some damage.

At this point in the proceedings, lucky me was chosen by Chinh to be
his opponent for a beer downing ritual. Apparently when Vietnamese
people are friends, they often do it and the person challenged has to
match whatever the other drinks for the evening. I wasn't too worried
about the challenge as I had seen Chinh drinking before but I did
wander why I kept getting into these situations with his family. First
the father, now the son! I just had to hope that Chinh didn't start an
impromptu coughing fit and I was also counting my lucky stars that his
mother wasn't there to give me dirty looks!

Ching returned from the bar with 2 beers. The first was a little
smaller than a pint glass and he proceeded to down just over half of
it in one. He did look a little overcome when he did so however. Mine
(being a westerner) was a schooner just under 2 pints and I was
expected to make my drink the same level as his which involved
drinking about a pint and three quarters. To fail in this challenge
would not only be rude but also a loss if national face so I took up
the mantle and matched it and some. Thus then gave me control of the
challenge. I ordered 2 more beers and repeated the motion which left
Chinh floundering. With some good natured encouragement and the
support if the entire group (and a few burps in Chinh's part!) he
finished the second amid applause and hugs galore from all. The little
guy was a legend and we all held him in such high esteem.

As the evening went on, Chinh opened up more and more and stopped
being a guide completely. It was great to see him relaxing and he
accompanied us to the bar so we could DJ and on the way I had my
defining memory of Chinh. We had to cross one of the busiest roads in
town and a drunken Chinh launched himself into the oncoming motos
doing the moonwalk of all things. It was hilarious and amazingly the
bikes didnt seem to care any more than normal; simply weaving around
him and beeping good naturedly (I can only assume). About halfway,
Chinh stopped and just grinned at us in his special way. He felt safe
and he probably was as safe as normal when crossing the road in this
crazy country.

We spent the rest of the evening singing and drinking and Dan even
managed to inadvertently proposition one of the bar staff (at which
point thankfully Chinh stepped in to save the day and calm matters
down). Dan later said that she was attractive but that 15 was a bit
young for him and that perhaps Joy was a better option. Half an hour
later he was making conversation with somebody he swore he didn't know
was a lady boy until I told him! Alas, once again his chances of love
were dashed.

We poured Chinh into his bed at about 4am and left instructions with
his roommate (also an intrepid guide) that he had an 8am flight and
had to get up or his gf would not be best pleased waiting for him back
in Hue.

Slowly the next morning, the group went their separate ways and Dan
and I headed to KFC to get some hangover food. We had all the best
intentions of heading to the waterpark that day but didnt manage it
until the next day whereupon I had one the most fun days I have had in
ages.

The water park is about a 40 minute taxi tide across town but is so
worth it. We found out from other backpackers that the best time is to
go in the afternoon on a weekday and we headed there to find we were
the only westerners there and 2 of only about 10 people in the entire
place. Honestly, there were more staff than customers! We had the time
of our lives shooting down the 12 or so slides they had which had the
added benefit of offering amazing views of the cityscape. Sadly Dan
injury his knee in one of the final runs but I was elated and like a
10 yr old kid when we left.

Finally, the fun had to end. Dan was booked on a coach to Cambodia but
decided to stay a couple more days to let his extremely swollen knee
heal rather than attempt a 10 hour bus journey to Sihanoukville and I
had a flight to Singapore to catch to forward me on to Bali and the
rest of Indonesia for my adventure to continue.

I had the best time in Vietnam and I think it was made awesome by a
combination of factors. Firstly, I lucked out with the group I
traveled with. We all got on really well and ended the trip as close
friends not just travel mates. Secondly, the country- Vietnam really
is a spectacular and amazing place, packed with history and culture.
SO work visiting. Thirdly, the best way to visit it is with Intrepid.
They mad the experience positive and took all the stress away from it.
Lots if the people we met along the way in Vietnam were finding it
hard work and needed help - we had that in the form of the last reason
I had such a great time: Chinh. The little guy was simply awesome and
if all the other guide are. As good, I shall certainly be signing up
for another intrepid tour soon.

Off to Bali then!