The Homecoming - This time next week, we'll be on a plane bound for Heathrow, marking the end of our six month travels. They say that there are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and fear. For us, it will be a different two: excitement at seeing everyone and awaiting new adventures around the corner; and a huge case of Sunday Night Blues that such an amazing period of our lives is over.
To put a smile in our airmiles, here's what we're looking forward to:
1. Western toilets. 'Nuff said.
2. Quiet roads: roads where drivers drive safely rather than honk their horns to let you know they're driving like Chalky.
3. Service stations: so we don't spend an awful lot of time on the M1 at home but, after a lot of 12 hour bus journeys stopping at cow-sheds for loo-stops with the roughest food options imagineable, we can't wait for M&S Food, a decent cuppa, clean loos and even a Little Chef Olympic Breakfast.
4. A good bottle of red wine. We gave Vietnamese Dalat wine, Nepali berry wine and India's Four Seasons wine a go, but it's just not the same. Pop a plate of strong cheese (as rare as good wine in Asia) and pickles on the side, and we'll have found our true Shangri-La.
5. A hearty plate of pub grub, a pint of IPA and football highlights with the boys.
6. A night out with the girls featuring prosecco, an Italian and some 80s pop classics.
7. A roast dinner with our families and seeing how grown-up our nieces and nephew have become.
8. Using hair conditioner and having a bloody good hair-cut.
9. Being able to walk down the street side-by-side, rather than Nicola scampering behind like a dog trying to avoid being run over by rickshaws, cows and beggars.
10. Not having to haggle for everything you buy. We just want a blimmin bottle of water for goodness sake.
11. Not wearing the same clothes for the next six months.
12. Wearing something other than flip flops or walking boots.
13. Eggs Benedict. Sausage sandwiches with Heinz ketchup. Salt & Vinegar Discos. Oh my.
14. Not having to cross your fingers every time you use an ATM in case it's the last time you see your card.
15. Not wearing a money belt all the time. It really interferes with the line of your clothing and is impossible to use whilst wearing a dress.
16. Big fluffy towels. Tiny 'quick-dry' trekking towels or sarongs just don't cut the mustard.
17. Toast. Just toast. Not eggy bread. Not bread fried in butter. Just toast.
18. Sitting on a sofa.
19. Not having to talk to ridiculous French boys wearing stripy, baggy clown-like trousers and mismatched stripy smock tops. We don't care if you travel on $3 a day and are comfortable. You look atrocious.
20. Going to the cinema. Other than The Hangover 2 in Singapore, all other attempts at a quiet night at the flicks have been thwarted by, well, foreign languages.
21. Wearing perfume rather than smelling of Eau de Deet.
22. Not seeing 'chicken sausages' on a menu. These are not, under any circumstances, actually sausages. Sausages are made from pigs and preferably by Mr Walls. Don't let the menu fool you. You will be disappointed every time.
23. And, of course, a proper cup of tea and a chocolate HobNob.
But there are also many things we've become accustomed to, so here's what we'll miss:
1. Errrrrrr not working of course!
2. The prices. Hotel rooms for a quid. An icy cold beer on a beach for 30p. Budgetitis bliss.
3. Falling asleep with a clear mind. It's been utterly amazing for your head to hit the pillow with not a single thing to do the next day.
4. Talking to everyone you meet. From the fellow traveller at the hostel or bus stop to the local appreciating your attempt at Vietnamese, everyone has been so friendly. We doubt London will reciprocate our cheery 'Hullos' as we walk down Oxford Street next week.
5. Being a celebrity. Especially in China and India, everyone wanted a picture of us, and particularly The Beard. It'll be quite annoying when no-one will want to take our picture back home!
6. Being able to visit parks, gyms and shopping malls on a weekday without feeling like you're playing truant.
7. Old-school ring-pulls on cans of pop. A little bit of danger every time.
8. Seeing something new and breath-taking every day.
9. Not having to wash our own clothes. All our laundry done in three hours for 75p. Joy.
10. Having no excuse to wear anything other than flip flops or walking boots.
11. Having the time and freedom to read as many new, classic and random books as you want.
12. Walking out of a supermarket having no idea what's in the packets you've bought.
13. Using the excuse of "But we don't know when we'll next see one" to buy a lot of Snickers bars.
14. The smiles on the faces of our Nepali disabled children.
15. Not having to shave every day.
16. Renting a motorbike, packing a small rucksack and heading off into the unknown for a few days to see what we can discover. Which was normally a numb bum for Nicola.
17. Sunset. Beer. All is well.