What a toffin balls up.
Second to last day in L.A. So me and Mo think, "Yeah, let's get our thinking caps on and visit Magic Mountain Theme Park."
Sounds doable. We get a smart route mapped out... Couple of buses, a metro train ... and a big walk at the end.
I honestly reckon Gandalf and the rest of the fellowship would've had trouble even getting the right buses, let alone make it to the gates of this kingdom. We finally got to 'The Big Walk'... If I had known how long this walk was... I would've brought a stick, and a friggin picnic bag.
We trudged through dust, and berries... and some LONG ARSE ROADS... Until... The path grinds to a halt.
Me and Mo perform our famous sideways glance at one another...
"Where's the path gone?"
The path had been eaten by some crazy, six lane freeway. We then decided to walk back 100 yards back in the wrong direction, to wait for a bus that was non existent. By this time we are having such fun, skipping about to reach this Magic Mountain...
We were both hot at the pits... It had already taken us a good 4 and a half hours to reach, 'The Nowhere'... And we were quickly losing patience... Plus we had nothing good to munch on... Oh, no, sorry! Moses did kindly bring both packets of bugs. Sweet of him...
We thought we'd try out some weird, shopping centre for a taxi rank... No luck. Turns out Santa Clarita doesn't have very much going on there. I asked these ice cream people if they knew anywhere we could get a taxi... Their answer: Google. The most helpful minions alive. I just served you a big slice of sarcasm there. Hope it tasted sour, because that's how I felt.
I did however, return back to the ice cream twits, because it smelt amazing in there... and I needed something to get this sour taste out my mouth.
We flopped. Decided it was a waste of time trying to visit this place. By the time we reached the place, we wouldn't have had time to everything properly, plus we wanted to have a secure way if getting home.
Haha... Secure way of getting home, ha ha ehh...
We browsed about this wasteland for a bit, started to make our way back around 6pm. Walk to the train station done!! Whilst waiting, we did reminisce on some of our worst injuries... The wet towl whips were definitely highly ranked (thanks Dad & Ben).
"Lancaster, train to Lancaster."
Sounds nice... Why don't we hop on it? :)
Maybe because that's 100% the WRONG SODDING TRAIN.
We get off immediately, as soon as we realise. There's this dude standing at the station. We clearly looked clueless.
He tells us that there are no more trains or buses running from that station.
The famous 'Sideways Glance' made an appearance again... This time with noticeable speed increase.
Pondered about staying there the night in a hotel. No jeffing way. Turns out the likelihood of getting stabbed in the area was high, so we thought we'd give it a miss.
The guy was telling us about a couple of young travellers who were in a similar situation... They ended up calling the Train Authority Team, and let them stay in the station due to the area being so dodgy.
We'll get a taxi thanks.
The Safety Officer dude ended up calling a taxi for us. He was really helpful actually.
THE TAXI RIDE HOME
So this taxi pulls up. Out hops this little Latino man. Already, as he opens the door for us, the dude is muttering away to himself. Brilliant... This is going to be fun.
I don't know how to describe the rest of this story. But I'll try my hardest to put you into mine and poor Moses' shoes...
This taxi driver must've been in his 50's at least... and he is possibly one of the craziest people I've tried to have a conversation with. He went off on one... About his wife, Vietnam War, Politics, Fighting off some gangster with a knife, Old Presidents, Aliens, God, Monkeys...
I got a face cramp from pulling the 'What the f***?!' Face for too long.
Eventually, exhausted, Magic-Mountainless and a $140 taxi fare lighter... We arrived home. Unsure whether to be laughing or crying at this stage.
Quotes Of The Day
A little insult session at breakfast...
Moses:"Do you know what you're bad at?"
Heather:"Hey Moses, do you know what you're bad at?"
Heather:"Eating eggs, hahahaha!"
Moses:"Somebody has pooed on the toilet floor."
Heather:"It has been such a s*** day."
In The Taxi...
Crazy Latino:"Just remember, next time you see a monkey... Look him straight in the eye. You will see, he's trying to talk to you!"
"What the f*** have we just been through?"