Hey dude! I can't beleive you haven't come back a lady b! I will now write some comebacks for the apparent 'myths' she was trying to dispell. 1. we have explained the chicken pox theory, so you cant catch them again 2. she can't get pregnant if you do it standing up. Have you not heard of gravity! 3. Sea water doesn't kill sperm, you are correct, but it dilutes it and therefore makes it useless 4. Correct, chocloate won't make it taste better, but pineapple does! There you go mate. I have helped you out once again. Sorry lady b, he is my brother and i feel i have to stand up for him! See ya Mat

Hi mate. Good to hear that you have landed in Melbourne. I think you should listen to the geordie boys comments about a crisp packet. Sound advice i think. Just at work at the moment. hope youare havin loads of fun mate. Take care of yourself and speak to you soon. Mat

ey up sweet heart! how was the flight? did you remember to put the handbrake on when you landed? dont want it rollin away, i heard there expensive. Dont worry about condoms mate i always use a crisp packet. Hope your having fun. We'd love to say we miss you but we had a brilliant weekend. New bar opened in town, went to opening night was cool they'ed hired models you would have had your tongue on your lap as always. Anyway gotta go pints to sup. Toodles x x

Hello mate, don't know if you got to see the game, but united won 1-0 in the 91st minute. John O'Shea! The titles ours. Hope you are havin fun! Mat

Well thanks to everyone who commented very interessting. im haging out in sydney degrees been subathing at opera house all day. of out with my korean mate for some food i call him ji sung and he has no idea why. plenty of females out here and i always bag it up.... xxxxxx keep writing xxxxx

hey...hope you got there safely...just read all your messages...explains a lot of your cairns lagoon actions!! wait for me to come out. stay safe x x x x p.s have some sushi x x x

As always Lady B you are a wealth of knowledge and wise words.xx

Well What can I say Litlle Legs! Your friends are charming and they say there are no gentlemen left. As a woman of the world let smash a few myths 1. You can catch them again 2. She may still get pregnant if you do it standing up 3. Sea water doesn't kill sperm (neither does chlorine!) 4. If you eat chocolate it wont make it taste any better for her!!! Glad to know you have landed safetly on the first leg of your journey. xxx

Well Gladdish you should have set this up ages ago, thanks to your brother and your mates I'm learning lots of new things about you!!!!!! Although it's making me see you in a whole new light.....not sure if that is a good thing or not. Hope you have arrived safely. Take care. Miss you already.xxxxxxxx

Chris remember if it itches you must leave it at least 4 weeks before you go and see the doctor but it must be used in as many 'holes' as you can fit it in. The lubriaction will do it some good but if it's dry it'll knock the scabs off. I presume you took your chlamidia tablets with you? Or have you finished them now

YOU MOTHER f***ERS!!! (Chris let me know when you are back and we can get an appointment down the clinic!)