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Ten countries down then and what have we leaned? Many things indeed, but we thought we´d share our top 10 - see what we´ve done there?
Hi All, it's our last blog from Latin America - we trot for the plane to NZ shortly, so we thought it time for a spot of reflection. Since we last updated you, we've crossed into Chile, where Claire held the entire bus up whilst the dogs and customs searched her pack for all those drugs she's been carrying, we've rumbled through the Lake District which is stunning and then on up to Santiago to cycle round the city and generally take it very easy. But never mind that, we´ve been on the road for nearly 4 months now and seen many weird, wonderful, not so wonderful and some downright odd sights. Be that the realisation that road watching (ideally performed on a blind corner with numerous items to roll out into the carriageway) really is a valid and competitive hobby in many countries, or trying to work out why Israelis only ever travel in groups larger than 6. Here are our favourites, be they about life, ourselves or just the way the world works.
Personal:
1. Jon is not allowed to choose books. Ever. He´s just not very good at it. He´s accepted this and moved on. US$11 is not too much to pay for an out of date copy of the Economist to stop this situation arising.
2. Claire will lose sunglasses. It´s not a regular cycle; a pair may last 6 weeks or be gone in 4 days. She has also accepted this but is still struggling to move on from the loss of a particularly natty pair of faux Ray Bans. Hence her budget for any given piece of eyewear has been limited to a maximum of US$3. The effect of this policy on her retinas remains undetermined.
Business:
3. We´ve spotted nice big capitalist gap in the market and by the time you read this will likely be busy swimming in a Scrooge McDuck-style money bin, laughing at the genius of our toilet seat export business. We´ll have broken our key target markets of Peru & Boliva, where it has yet to be invented. The wheel, yes, the toilet seat, still waiting.
Lifestyle:
4. Beards can be both big & clever. However, when things go wrong, they go wrong in proportion to the length of the beard and you´re very much on your own, with no one else to blame.
5. Nothing is better than whiling away half the night (and it will take you that long) devouring Argentine steak, in any of its many forms, but we recommend you start with (although not necessarily finish) Bife de Chorizo. This is also one fo the most efficient forms of weight gain known to man, however the pace of the process can be further augmented by quarter gallons of ice cream and red wine at marginal cost. For the truly determined, add dulce de leche to any / all mealtimes.
6. On the subject of Argentina, it is still the land of the hardened gaucho and the herds they rustle in very masculine conditions. This does not however preclude you from having a very gay afternoon. I for one rode a lady´s bicycle complete with basket to a Mendozan vineyard, only to be hugged and kissed heartly by a very hairy man in sockless loafers before taking the late sun with with a cool glass of Malbec rosé. Splendid.
Culture:
7. Whilst we´re on clothing, travellers still seem to believe crimes of fashion go unreported in foreign climes. That´s as may be, but it does not make walking around in your pajamas, fluro or otherwise, acceptable.
8. The letters ´LL´ do not have an agreed sound in Spanish. Take your pick from ´lly´, ´l´, ´ch´, ´j´ or a combination thereof - it doesn´t matter, you´ll be wrong. It´s not dictated by region, age, accent, word, context or what the person you´re speaking to said in their last sentence. In Argentina, you can add the letters ´y´ and ´j´ to this state of affairs.
9. The flipside is we´ve come to realise English verbs don´t always make sense or follow a discernable pattern. I can see entirely why non-native-speakers get mixed up, particularly with ´do´, ´make´, and ´take´. This however, does not stop it being funny. It is going to be a while before we stop making pi-pi´s, taking the breakfast and doing photos. We plan to use the time to devise a new multi-purpose verb for the English language which efficiently covers all creative actions and let you know when it´s both on Urban Dicitionary and has it´s own fully supported UN resolution - it´s sure to be scrumtrelescent.
Sport:
10. If Bernie Ecclestone was serious about making Formula 1 more interesting at reduced cost, he´d fire all those overpaid pansies and move the entire 16 race series to Guatemala, employing only locals in a derestricted ´rung-what-you-brung´ demolition derby. My money would be on a full 23 seater minibus, complete with luggage on the roof (perverse weight distribution can actually help cornering in these conditions - easier to get it on 2 wheels, see?). Or maybe a 1981 flatbed Bedford Rascal with underage outriders in the back to yell other racers - it´s really too close to call. Bring back Murray Walker, or find someone who can translate any Latin American football commentator fast enough, and you´ve got television gold my friends.
Until New Zealand then. In the meantime, merry Christmas one and all. Presents are all in the mail, I promise, but if the post service down here loses them, then that´s clearly not our fault.
- comments
Anita Beck Hello Jon & Claire, Very clever writing you seem to employ here. It's an artful gift I think! Your pictures are gorgeous too. Very safe travel to NZ and Merry Christmas to you both. Happy New Year as well. Enjoy some comforts of home while there. Take care. Love, Anita