I shall pay a large, beer related bonus to either of you able to flog an Australian a holiday in Butlins, Bognor Regis!
Bav
Joseph andMyself are no longer unemployed!!! We are now flogging cheap holidays via the inhabitable vacuum that is telesales. Dare u answer ur fone........?
Someone
I am disgusted by the state of this web page and i have heard that there is an amazing site like this 1 with but its better and there is none of this bitterness. www.statraveljournals.com/joshandalex give it a look.
Abs *
my my my, whats goin on?? biggest mincer competition has got little out of hand dont you think.....very good defences sam and sedge, however i feel the honourable judge freddie should crown the number one champion, queen, mincer!!!! so who will it be??? the suspense is killing me.............
Georgie And Kayley
hello boys,
kayley aka, the beer monster as joe likes to call her, has thus to say;
the roles have now changed, i know you like to think i lead georgie astray but for the last two weeks, we have been drunk, but nicely tucked up in bed before we turn into pumpkins at midnight, when all it seems you are doing it partying all over the place. i do not approve of this raucus behaviour, and hope that the koala bears and kangaroos knock you into shape joseph!
xxx
Sawday
I'm not sure that i agree with the anti Sawday sub-plot which runs parallel with this debate........
"Sawday-esque creature"
"Sawday was the odds favourite for the title, but the smell and general fester you produce may compete with him."
Bav
Well well well what have we started......
Honourable freddie webber? Seemingly it is possible to elevate yourself even higher in the rankings of a national, and now international, joke. I concur whole heartedly with a certain richard smith, those home truths certainly have spurred u on to engage your brain so furiously to absolve yourself of the charges u were faced with......u seemed to have handled them about as well as a paraplegic monkey attempting to gather a loose ball in the penalty area. And yes donny bon bon i do remember the cub scout nite, amongst the most amusing 45 minutes of my life.
Now i fully accept that our rampage was not the 'regulation' defense u were looking for. So here is mine.............no, wait, i cant be arsed to sit here for hours plotting the finest ways to wow u with my eloquent and awe inspiring argument. So my defense is simple im not going to present u with one. Yes i check myself out in most reflective surfaces but thats cos im so goddamn hot (i think ull all agree, thanks jan and nick). Why shudnt i bask in my assets. However on the other hand my burps can shake the foundations of the most sturdy constructions (joseph and stephen im sure will agree with me) and i havent shaved for a very long time (partly due to the razor drought of 2007 detailed by sawday earlier on this mssge board)
So make of me what u will, i really dont care. Shud u award me with the biggest mince crown ill welcome it with open arms and skip off into the sunset with my trophy (assuming u intend to award one) arm in arm with sir richard smith and his charming assistant bubbles.
Thank u
(p.s freddie webber, learn how to spell thursday.)
Smithy
Apologies fellow degree taker Sawday (not travelling dossers), I must however right my piece about the one, and only, Master ?mince? Webber
Upon reading your debate topic I did start adhering and agreeing to a certain few points, until a certain ?Queen of Mince? came into conversation.
As you have correctly mentioned, your original topic was to deliberate between possible candidates for the biggest mincer?sadly on your part, it has backfired, you have won!!!
Your cockiness and general prowess towards this debate has, so to speak, ?p****d on your own fire?. The ?attacks? from Bav and Sedge have clearly just sent you a few home truths, which you clearly cannot handle, or even convincingly justify. You have tried to defend yourself, and in certain, obvious areas (being the majority), you have failed.
Joe, I must agree you were never in the race for mince, however your festering contribution has been sickening. Sawday was the odds favourite for the title, but the smell and general fester you produce may compete with him. You have definitely not come out smelling of roses, anything but.
?Honourable Judge?, what a joke that is, along with your ?deep rooted physcological problem that applies to all liquids?, which is utter rubbish. I have photographic evidence of you finishing a pint in Newquay not that long ago, you know you can do it, you just love to be different, another trait of a self loving mince.
That is all, keep up the festering, mincing and whatever you bearded freaks like to do across the water (excluding well shaven Joseph, but including the festering).
P.S. Steven Sedgleigh and Samuel Bavin, I will get my assistant Bubbles to email you the Terms and Conditions for your stay in Land of Mince?.?The land where mincers can roam free without festers?
Sawday
Firstly, Im not sure of the exact definition of "Sawday-esque" but i don't like what it suggests, although i am on your side Joe, i do not like your reference.
Secondly, the man calling himself the "the honorable judge" is right, it was a defense of yourself and not an attack on anybody else.Therefore bav and sedge both still have to post a defense of themselves.
Thirdly, this was a debate to see who was the biggest mincer between you three bearded travelers. Though we all accept that "the honorable judge" is a mincer by some peoples standards, he was not subject to debate.
That is all.
The Honourable Judge Freddie Webber
Well that back fired didnt it? Hearing everything layed out like that, i think i need to go and have a long hard look at myself in the mirror,(no pun intended)
Indeed it seems my debate topic may have been sprinkled with hypocrisy, however I feel the overwhelming need to clear my name as some allegations are not strictly true.
1)ref:Not finishing "Beer"- this is a deep rooted physcological problem that applies to all liquids, be it water, beer, squash or lemonade.
2)So i hate burps or farts when directed at me?who doesnt? can you both honestly say you would "lap up" a smell concutted by Joeys rotting gut after a night on the beers and curry?
3) I have been out two nights in a row? but if your gonna bring peoples sleep patturns into question then we must speak of one stephen sedgehammer, who if deprived of sleep turns into the "grouchiest man alive with a fuse smaller then graham nortons appetite for women.
4) when you speak of holding hands with two girls, thats not true, it was only one girl and were not just friends!
5)my not "sleeping in" is in tune with the "festering debate" something which joe has fallen victim to, and from what i hear, you to sedge. Is there anythign wrong with not wanting to waste a day? this is just a reflection of my pro-active, healthy and modern lifestyle.
6) If by "salon treatment" you mean letting sedge cut my hair in his bathroom witha pair of dodgy scissors, then yes I do take advantage of "salon treatment". However im not prepared to take critism regarding my hair. Who highlights their hair every two weeks? Who has more hair products then the VO5 warehouse on their "dressing table". Who pouts at any reflection going(namely car windows and joes sunglasses) whilst adjusting their "fashionable long hair" and pushing out their jawline? Who straightens their hair? Not me.
7) I would like to point out how setevns clothes where offered to me by the lanky show pony himself. Granted i did not think twice in selecting a few choice items, however your quote is grossly incorrect, you need to consult your sources? or did you make it up?
The rules of the court clealy stated by sawday on thusday 23 of march that each of the three "mince candidates" must put forward a "defense " off themslves and not an attack on others. Joe being the astute law undergraduate was the only candidate to adhere to the rules of the court and therefore the only candidate to come out ironically smelling of roses.
I hearby condemn you Steven Sedgleigh and you Samuel Bavin to an eternity in the land of mince. upon your arrival you will be greeted by "Queen of mince" Richard Smith who will lay down the terms and conditons of your stay.
Yours sincirely the honourable Judge, Freddie Webber
Josh Don
i think that every point just made by bav and sedge were very true and i agree that FreddyWebber is the biggest mincer just behind james tyler. I remember when we were getting ready 4 the Cub/scouts night out in bognor do u remember bav and steven it took him 45 minutes to try on all of his differnet tops(2) with different shoes trousers belts and jumpers i was disgusted and would like everybody to know this . if anyone else has freddy mincing stories i think they should be posted on this web page. josh.
Bav And Sedge
Well a defense against being minces eh? Well myself and my esteemed co author (sir stephen of sedgely) have always been told from an early age attack is the best form of defense. Thus Freddie Samuel Webber Prepare for an extreme verbal assualt on why you, not joey either of us, are the biggest mincer.
Ahem.......Freddie webber has called us all mincers. This is the same freddie webber who physically cannot finish a full beer due the so called 'skank' at the bottom. The same freddie webber that throws a hissy fit if someone shud aim a bodily function slightly in his direction. The same freddie webber that cannot go out two nights in a row cos hes 'too tired'. Shall we go on?? Yes, its too much fun! The same freddie webber who sits and watches films with two women holding hands 'just as friends'. The same freddie webber who refuses to sleep in late in fear he may 'waste a day'. The same freddie webber that often enjoys 'salon treatment' for his hair. The same freddie webber that stole clothes from stephens wardrobe as he claimed his 'didnt look as flattering as sedge's t-shirts' did.......