Banter All Over The World
O dear! DSW has resorted to sleeping naked to counter the heat. During the night, on a couple of occasions, I have glanced over to see him spread eagle which was not ideal! It is however the most effective alarm c[l]ock I have ever experienced. Anyway....the last you heard, we had just bossed Hanoi. Since then fearless beauties have experienced plenty of banter whilst on our tour of Vietnam. We went to see the museum of Ho Chi Munh to see what the old boy had in his locker and to be honest he may be a legend over here but I doubt that he would last a fortnight bantering round the world with me and DSW. On our way out a small lad offered to take us on a cheeky tour of Hanoi. After saying 'No thankyou' 14 times, we decided that a tour might be quite nice. He showed us a few sights such as a crashed B52 bomber which has been preserved in a Flower Garden and the Temple of Literature and also wanted to show us a few more sights. (He forcefully offered us 'BOOM BOOM Girls' at a cheap price. Gemma and Jane - No need to worry, it was far too wam for Boom Booming!) We met up with our tour group and the Vietnamese tour leader called Bon and went on a day/night trip to Halong bay where we went out on a boat and were going to have a swim before we were informed that there was a strong possibility of getting sea-lice. Now...we have no idea what the hell sea lice are but we didn't fancy risking it. We then had a fresh seafood lunch aboard the boat and washed it all down with 25p beers. BEAUTIFUL! Next on the agenda was another 12 hour, overnight train journey (Did nooo get an agenda). After our last overnight train ride in China, we were apprehensive. These feeling were calmed by buying a crate of local Vietnamese lager along with a few Tiger beers and ploughing through those with the help of our Intrepid tour group. Pictures of the aftermath of the beer drinking can be found in the albums. The trail of cans stretched from 1 side of the cabin to the other!! On our first night in Hue we had a 'Royal Banquet' with live Vietnamese music and we all had to dress up as various people of the Royal Court. One of the roles available was the 'Eunich' which is someone who is very effeminate and has been castrated!! After several 'Shotgun Not shouts' and a few games of 'Man, Gun Bear' to my delight DSW was assigned the role and he played it perfectly!! Monsoon Motorbike ride of dreams was next up. We went in a motorbike convoy through the countryside and I can safely say that is the wettest that I have ever been and although we had a helmet complete with viser the rain certainly stung the lips and cheeks. We stopped at a famous conical hat maker place, a local market and motored about on single tracks and on all terrain. As we missed breakfast that morning we had worked up a great hunger (well...DSW had - I was just a bit peckish) but it turned out is was a vegetarian dinner cooked by monks at a monastery. DSW countered this news by closing his eyes and thinking of Sally's roast beef dinner. Having said that, it was a great experience and one that were did not expect to encounter. After a night of watching footy and drinking 30p beers we got the bus to a small town called Hoi Ann. We stopped, on the way at a ceramics shop and I can assure you taht a ceramics shop is one of the worst hangover cures known to man. We had 1 excellent evening in Hoi Ann. It started with a Vietnamese cooking class where we mastered dishes such as grilled fish in banana leaf and papaya salad. David likened himself to a blonde Ken Hom and during the class we also found the cheapest beer to date. 10p a glass for fresh beer and it was worth every penny. We then met up with a Kiwi lad and a canadian girl and proceded to banter the living s*** out of several bars. 2 o'clock arrived and we were ready to clyclo home but then there was a shout of 'Does anyone fancy the WILD BAR?'. There is only 1 answer to that question! On the supposed 2 minute journey we gave the motorbike rider a loud, tuneful? rendition of 'Wild Bar, I think I love you! But I wana know for sure!'. 20 minutes later we arrived to find a bar in the sticks that looked far from wild as it was closed! O dear! The bar was opened for the banter boys and we had a lock in until 6 in the morning. Safe to say we missed the 8 o'clock meet for a bike ride to the beach 2 hours later. Today, we have been to the Chu Chi tunnels used by the Vietnamese during the war and went down inside them and noncholantly fired a few rounds on a AK47 with live ammo. It was nothing like quasar as we imagined it might be. We are off to Cambodia in a couple of days. Our banter is increasing daily so Cambodia better be ready!! All the best. DSW and Jake.