It has been a long time since the last journal entry and in that time much has happened including several familiar faces from Ascot popping up, hospital visits and Full Moon Antics. I realise that not having a journal entry to read for 3 weeks may lead you to think that the banter is running dry. Think again!!! Also, those who enjoy hearing about the culture side of our travelling, the islands were not about that.
Last time we spoke we were about to return to Sin City and after yet another bloody overnight bus we arrived there at 5 in the morning. We only really used Bangkok as a base this time to do all of our essential admin such as laundry, emails, massages and the red light district. Bangkok is where the first familiar face popped up and as we were strolling along the street to get an early evening drink we spotted the 'Trout' with an Irish gentleman following closely behind. We then joined up for the evening and a second Trout (Zoes sister) also turned up straight off the plane and we all enjoyed a good night in Gullivers together. Also in Bangkok Dave informed me that he was 'just off to get touched up'. This may seem understandable when in Sin City but it was not how it sounds because he was just getting the finishing touches applied to his new tattoo.
Next, for a change, we decided to get an overnight bus to Chumporn and start to attack the eastern Thai islands. None of our overnight events have been a great laugh but this one was among the worst. We were seated on the back row and which was good we felt like the 'cool kids' on the back of the White Bus going to Charters. I know that you should not judge books by their covers and all that but we were definetely sitting next to two lesbians. I have no problem with lesbians at all (in fact I quite like them) but these to laid their 'son' over several seats so that his afro was directly in DSWs lap. Dave then moved over meaning that we had half a seat each for a 12 hour journey.
The first Island that we went to was Ko Tao which is where some of the best diving can be done. We decided that due to financial constraints that we wouldn't do any diving and felt that we had earned a rest after a stressful 2 months in Asia and just used this island to recharge our batteries. We enjoyed some time on the beach, consumed several beachside BBQs and had a few drinks the night before we were due to get the boat to Ko Pangan. These 'few drinks' led to a few more and then a couple more and then a nightcap. The results of these 'few drinks' were fairly expensive- I lost my wallet (which has now been replaced by a highly Gay 'Manpurse'), the room key and we woke up at 10.15. 10.15 may seem early to get up after a night out but when your boat leaves at 10.00 it is a little bit late. Anyway, we regrouped, had a quiet night and tried the boat, this time successfully, again.
Next Island was Ko Pangan which is famous for its Full Moon Parties. The first day that we got there DSW had the idea to hire a motorbike in order to explore the island. I was a little bit reluctant as between the two of us we have a grand total of 3 weeks legal driving experience and none of that is on a motorbike. DSW insisited that there was nothing to it and so we hired one for two days. Due to my wealth of road experience I was elected the driver and off we went to the main part of the island. The route was very hilly and with the 15 stone Dave on the back we were anything but steady. We approached a particuarly steep incline and Dave said 'Attack It' which resulted in a few wobbles and Dave having to jump off and run up the rest of the hill. When we got home we read the Ko Pangan Guidebook and to quote it 'The hilly roads of Ko Pangan should not be attempted by inexperienced motorbike drivers'. We didnt use it for the second day!
The following days we were joined slowly but surely by the people who we had travelled through Laos with. Kezza, Dani, Dicko, Deano, The Punisher (who turned out to be a big Canadian knob) and the massively gay Mark and Will along with their mate Mike all arrived and we had a strong unit to hit the full moon party with. We attended a pool party and despite them playing a selection of music that sounded like it was from the compilation CD 'Songs you hoped you would never hear again' (Quote Bryson 06) we had a good time. We also had a night at our guesthouse bar which resulted in several games of 'Killer Pool' and many games of Man-Gun-Bear which ended in both Deano and DSW doing naked laps of the pool table. I forget exactly why!!
The famous 'Full Moon Party' was next up and we all met up at the "Sea Breeze Rasta Bar" and started the night. Myself, Smith-Watson and Deano got a few bottles of whisky between us thinking that as we were not into any of the drugs that were on offer we would get warmed up with some booze and then top it up as the night progressed. As soon as we got to the full moon it was evident we had overdone the booze and when we got to the beach everyone seemed to get split up and people were not re-united until 5 o'clock the next morning when everyone came together, still on the beach. Everyone came together apart from Will East who we had met in Laos. He was last seen sitting and touching the leg of a Thai girl. He was apparently led off to, 'somewhere with a mattress' where due to his condition he claims that he was taken advantage of.
At about 8AM while on the beach the next familiar face appeared in front of me and Dave. The Full Moon Party is famous for its drug taking and we needed a sensible head to steer us away from any of these evil things on offer. Adam Colwill turned up and started hugging Dave!! We half expected Pete Docherty to come over to sit with us aswell. Adam was on great form however and we went with him to an after party off the beach and up a mountain.
At this point I will hand you over to Deano who is making a guest author appearance. There's only 1 Deano!!
Title - 'Its Only a 20 Minute Swim'
Having seen the pics of the morning after the full moon party you'll probably agree that it was time to go home and sleep it off. Unfortunately being as smashes as we were, me (Dean), Jake and Dave decided to go to the after party. We got there at about 9am, consumed a s***e load more beer, which we obviously didn't need, danced around a bit and taught some thai girls how to lunge. At this point Jake saw sense and decided to head back on to the road and get a taxi home. I make the point of saying back up on to the road to get a taxi home because that is the only way of getting home. Well nearly! You see Dave had a moment of genius, madness, insanity or something and decided that we could slide down this hill and walk along the beach. No problem, I also thought it was a great idea (buckets of whiskey and Chang beer talking). However the hill turned out to be more of a cliff and for part of the 'journey' down we were falling and hoping that a tree would break our fall. 20 metres and a few cuts and bruises later we were at the bottom. "where's the beach Dave?" There was no beach, just rocks but dont worry, Dave had another moment of genius. "we'll swim back, its only a 20 minute swim".
20 minutes later we had made it off of the sharp slippery rocks, doing well just to get a few more cuts and no broken bones! So we began swimming and swimming ........ and swimming. At this point I realised that I was sinking so headed for the rocks again. I literally made it just before I drowned. I was going to try to climb back up the cliff but suddenly all my prayers were answered. There was an abandoned Kayak! Dave came back for me and was delighted to see what I had found, so between us we dragged it, and ourselves back into the water. It was decided that, although Dave was an 'expert kayaking king', I would get in it and Dave would use it as a float. Having successfully climbed in to it at the 7th attempt the bloody thing began to sink!! We started to realise that our mini adventure had turned in to a situation. At this point we heard shouting from above. Were we saved? were we feck! A thai lady was shouting abuse at us and her husband was in the water, swimming after us and HIS kayak. It wasn't abandoned afterall! His exact words were 'I dont even want to look at you, I will be talking to you later' By 'talking' we got the impresssion he meant beating the crap out of us. By now 2 hours had passed (not 20mins) but then we saw it ......the beach. We were home! We made it to dry land and asked somebody where we were. Haad Rin was the answer. Haad Fecking Rin! We started in Haad Rin, we wanted to be in Baan Tai - about 3 miles away Then we realised that the journey had taken us down one side of the cliff, around the rocks and on to the road where Jake had earlier walked to and got a taki! Now we needed a taxi. Easier said than done. We saw a hotel complex and decided to ask in there but as we walked past the swimming pool we bothe 'accidently' fell in. As I was getting out I noticed a very angry hotel worker running towards me. He threw two punches but I somehow managed to avoid them both, which reminds me of when I was beaten up with a lilo in Magaluf by hotel security for going in the pool, twice, at 5am. Anyway we legged it and with two locals wanting blood we still needed a taxi. We both realised that our feet were cut to bits, we were in a lot of pain and nobody wanted to take us home. We finally got a tuk-tuk to a taxi that took us home for 2.30pm, 3hours, not 20minutes later.
The aftermath of DSWs antics after the after party (its the hotel lobby?) are still being felt to this day. He cut his feet to shreds and his ears stopped to function. After a long hospital visit in Ko Samui his deafness subsided due to the nurse pulling all sorts of awfully smelling crap out of his ears. However, his feet, two weeks on are still not good. It seems that it has become infected and after a trip to the Doctor's he has been given anti-biotics and has been told to rest it for 5 days. That is probably the worst full moon hangover in history. 1 week of deafness (Lev, he now feels your pain!) and 3 weeks of not being able to walk properly.
After Pangan the 'Team' split up with the girls and Deano heading to Ko Tao where Will and Mark were already and me and Dave made our way to Ko Samui. Ko Samui is a lot moree commercial than the other islands and actually has 48 7Elevens on it. Dave was laid up in bed for the 2 days that we were there so they consisted off me going on various self guided walks which ended at Mcdonalds where I picked up DSW a Big Mac Meal.
From Samui, we flew to Singapore where we met the next familiar face - Miss. Stephanie Cook. She has now joined 'Team Banter' and will be travelling Oz and New Zealand with us. We had a long flight to Cairns on the highly respected 'Jetstar' airline and have now been in Cairns for 4 nights. We have been up to the Daintee rainforest and Cape Tribulaition and tomorrow me and Steph go to the Great Barrier reef to do a bit of snorkelling.