1001 Degrees Of Latino Heat!!!
Vienna Austria. Now thats a city. I only spent one night and two days in Vienna but alot can happen in a short time. Leaving to Vienna I was playing catch up. I had stayed in Munich too long letting my self get caught up with ideas of spending some time with Sylvia... snake just like every other women in my life. I left Munich late and took a night train to Vienna. This is the smartest thing to do. Although the trains can be uncomfortable it allows for days to go unwasted that could be used for sightseeing. I left Munich at 1130pm and arrived in Vienna at 6am. Bam walking the streets taking in the sights while all the other tourist and most of the city were still asleep. Before I get to that though let me start with the train ride. The ticket guy tried to hustle me. At Munich I asked the controller where I could sit with my europass. The dude couldnt really speak english but he leads me to a sleeping compartment with beds. I told him" Wait I want a seat I dont have the money for a bed." He says its Free. At that I said alright jumped in the room, which I had all to myself grabbed a bed and got snug as a bug. About 45 minutes later the dude is knocking on my door I thought it was the ticket check but the guy ends up asking for 26 euros. A hostel is anywhere from 18 to 24 euros. I started grabbing my stuff and I informed him that I didnt have the money and I was going to grab a seat. Then he drops his price down to 20 euros. I took it. The bed was comfortable and besides after Sylvia broke my heart I needed the rest and solitude. I was supposed to stay with an Hcer in Vienna but I had changed my plans so much that I decided that I was only going to stay one night in the city and staying with an Hcer for one night defeats the purpose of the organization. It is not meant to be free room and board although that is a function it serves. HC is cultural exchange and a way too meet fellow travelers. I couldnt rightly ask someone to host me for one day I would be using thier hospitality in the wrong way. I know I wouldnt like that. Arriving in any new city presents challenges. The first challeng for me always consist of finding accomodations. I use the HC but for the most part I have been staying at hostels and I never book in advance I always do it on the fly. There is also the challenge of the public transportation system. Every city has various modes of public transport. There are Trams, buses, the underground or metro and S-Bahn lines, The S-Bahn is trains that run through the center of cities with fewer stops and are a fast way to get from one end of the city to another. This can all be confusing and intimidating at first but once I get the hold of it I have that feeling of satisfaction of having conquered the beast. Its always a fun little challenge to overcome. Upon first arrival I prefer walking the city streets myself as every city has its own character, architecture and interesting people to see. The subway can take away from this experience. Austria is a city of great architecture. I arrived in the city at 6 am and I was walking up and down the streets the whole morning. There was few people out and it was great. It seemed like no matter where I turned there was a statue or some grand building. Vienna was once considered the most beautiful city of Europe during the days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. I found the city about 1000000000000 million times more aesthetically pleasing then Paris...Really I did, and of course there is less tourist. After walking the city streets I made my way to a hostel, checked in took a shower---Great. Showers and clean clothes cant be beat. There is nothing like laying in bed after a nice cold shower, that comes after 1.5 days of built up sweat in all the wrong places. Add to this some clean smelling clothes to throw on afterwards and it is euphoric. My vocabulary is bigger then yours. Im actually tired right now but I need to get this out and done with or else I will be thinking about this the rest of my stay in Prague. There was one thing I came to Vienna to see. Mozart museum. I dig the Mozart and Vienna is his birthplace, all over the place there are statues and monuments for this guy. However finding the Damn Museum was such a pain in the aÂ§Â§. I looked high and I looked low, all to no avail. The city maps and public transport system was the worst up to that point in my travels by far. In my search for the Mozart museum I did find a butterfly house. I went in. It was pretty. I saw about 5 butterflys. In my search for the Mozart Museum I came across something that took my mind off of Mozart and completely changed my mission. A brochure for a private art show came into my possession. The works being exibited were those of the guy that inspired Alien, Aliens, Alien resurrection and Alien versus Predator. Had to see it. I walked about 5 miles and got lost on the public transportation but eventually I found the place. It was nine Euros which is rape but I happily forked over the cash. This is the guy who came up with Aliens are you joking. The stuff that this dude drew was creepy and just flat out weird. I tried to take a picture of an alien human hybrid female with a male prosthetic but one of the employees stopped me and said that photos were not allowed. Nine euros and pictures arent allowed. I took one later covert style of an Alien sculpture. It was awesome. Later that night I decided to go out. I took the underground to some club. Went inside, working with limited funds I got a little buzz going on. Then I procceded to get shot down left right, up, down and in the middle. s*** I guessed that I needed a hair cut or more cologne to cover up the smell of all my testosterone too much can scare off the ladies you know. European girls and guys dance differently then we do. They dont grind and freak. Im telling you this night I was not buzzing so much so I was able to observe alot better then usual. The dancefloor was packed and as I looked around I saw guys dancing with one another and not with girls. The girls were dancing with one another and not with the fellas. I found an American girl to dance with me though. Some girl from Arizona and she was totally into dancing USA style, we must have looked like some dogs in the frontyard because the Europeans were staring at us like we were crazy, it was great. After a while I got bored and my pelvis was sore so I left the American girl and began walking around. The first time I spotted her I thought nothing of it. There was a guy asking her to dance and she accepted but as she did so she was staring at me. Hmmmm, she is a little too good lucking for me I thought. Later on I passed by her again, this time the eyes locked and I knew I was in there like swimwear. She was still sort of dancing with the dude but I just cut in said hi and boom were doing our thing. Her name was Nina, a Polish girl that had grown up in Austria. Bangin. A ballet dancer. We hung out the whole night, didnt get back to my hostel till 6am. I dont even know why I get a room when I know I will be going out and staying out all night long. We met later the following day. Walking the city, chitting and a chatting. I was leaving for Prague that night, the next morning she was heading to Budapest for a two week ballet performance. Before we went our separate ways we decided that it would be in both our interest if we were to meet up again. Budapest was never on my itinerary, it is now. Woot woot. Ok now a funny story... WARNING: DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THE FOLLOWING TRANSCRIPTION READERS DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DONT FIND GROSS NASTY BODILY HUMOUR TO BE HILARIOUS STOP READING. Kebab shops. These places are very popular in Europe especially when leaving a club late at night and being tipsy. You all know that urge you get to just bite into some good ol Mexican food. Similar to that is the Kebab shops. These places are run by the Muslim immigrants and the food is bomb. In Mexico they have Montezumas revenge, out here I call it Saddams revenge. I know first hand the power of this curse. After eating at these places at various points in time I must have chosen a bad place. It was late on Saturday night as I was walking to the subway to head to a club, I needed some food and cheap beer so I walk into the place get the grub and beer. As the dude is handing me the goods he had a look in his eye that just was not so trustworthy and plus he kept calling me his friend. Everything my friend. Drinks my friend. Eat here my friend. Ahhh American, is good my friend. Whenever people continously call me thier friend and they are obviously not that stuff just does not sit right with me. So flash forward to the next day when Nina and I are walking around the city. Were just chillin, hanging out then my stomach starts to bubble. Ok, were going to hang a while longer then I hit the nearest restroom no biggie. The bubbling got worse and worse and I knew I was in trouble when I started to sweat and my stomach was hurting. At this point we were in the subway station saying our goodbyes but damn it the woman kept talking. I know everyone reading this has been in that situation. The one where you are dropping off your date and you have been holding in your fart for the whole date and the only thing you are thinking about is letting it rip right when your date closes the door or walks inside the house but sometimes they keep talking and talking so then your trying to act all cool about everything like...DAMN, YEAH YEAH THATS NICE. WHAAAA... NO. OH REALLY. DANG ISNT IT TIME FOR YOU TO GO. OH YEAH I DONT MIND TALKING ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES...inside your thinking.... s***. SHUT UP AND GO INSIDE WOMAN CANT YOU HEAR MY STOMACH BUBBLING UP. That was my situation in the train station. I was dying. I was already starting to do the funny walk. Taking quick little steps clenching the cheeks. So finally she leaves. The hostel wasnt all that far away using the subway and the workers there were dicks so I decided it was time for a little revenge. If I had known it was going to be as bad as it was I would have had mercy on them. I get to the hostel and I head for the nearest restroom which happens to be in the kitchen lounge hangout. Dude there was people in the lounge area, I thought I could keep it quite doing the one cheek sneak and all that. I tried. I failed. Saddams revenge struck and it struck bad. When I had first entered the restroom I could hear the people talking and everything. The first fart was like a sonic boom, I swear to god the walls shook and some car alarms were going off in the street. The people in the lounge immediately were quite. I lost control, the faucet was running and I was ripping some mean ones left and right and couldnt do anything to stop it. I was sweating bullets, yeah it was one of those. I was sweating so bad I took off my shirt and started to use it to wipe off my forehead. As I left the restroom I couldnt even bring myself to look into the lounge, I suddenly found the tilework to be interesting and artistic and I looked long and hard at it as I walked to the luggage room grabbed my bag and left the building. I could feel the eyes following me out of the room. They were nice enough not to be laughing, if It had been me in thier shoes I would have been rolling. Yeah its gross and everything but it was just too funny to leave out. CAUSE I KEEPS IT REAL SON. Until next time, Ciao