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They say all good things must come to an end, and this is true for my time volunteering in Nepal too. It is with a heavy heart and pangs of guilt and regret that I leave this beautiful country that I have grown to know and love, and it feels horrible leaving in it's hour of need. I have learned so much from the Nepali people though, and have complete faith that they will one day recover from the devastating earthquakes.
Friday saw my last day in Pame at Little Daffodils English Boarding School. The women's lesson in the morning turned into an intense uno session, with Harimaya coming out as the dark horse and storming to victory on several occasions. Saying goodbye to those beautiful, determined, courageous, welcoming women was so hard - some of them had only been to a couple of my lessons but they all had fierce determination and the warmest, most open hearts. I will miss Rita always cracking jokes and laughing, Babita's smile that lights up the room, Rhada's absolute determination, Harimaya's awesome cooking, Shanti's warmest, most sincere smile, Dilmaya's weekly invitations for tea and Bishnu's fantastic laugh and non-stop always-on-the-go attitude. They've all come on so much over the last three months despite everything - strikes, earthquake, farming season, school holidays - I really do wish them every success in the future and I'm going to miss them a hell of a lot!
Due to the earthquake earlier in the week, all the kids were off school. As soon as the women's lesson was over they all came charging in, desperate to play uno or draw or play skipping or football. It makes a refreshing change from the UK, where if school was closed for a day or two most students wouldn't leave their rooms or stray from a laptop or TV screen. We had a competitive morning playing Nepali uno (unsurprisingly I lost every time), skipping and frisbee and then went for our final lunch at Nirvana cafe to see Harimaya and Cici and Monica.
The girls leadership lesson in the afternoon was the best one yet. We had 10 girls and ran a resilience workshop and an art lesson (needless to say I wasn't much help for the latter...). Everyone really enjoyed it, and it was the first time a lot of the girls had had the opportunity to use paint and sketch paper so they put so much effort into making them perfect - it was awesome to see! I was also really glad to see the resilience workshop work out so successfully. Girls and young women in Nepal have limited opportunities and are often held back or not treated very fairly, and the leadership programme was designed so that the girls can develop a sense of worth which they so sadly lack. Since the start of the programme about 6 weeks ago we've had a lot of obstacles to overcome but the difference in the girls is definitely noticeable already. They all have such amazing personalities and it's been amazing to get to know them and bring them out of their shells - going to miss them all so much!
Waiting for the bus back to Lakeside gave me a chance to say goodbye to Monica, Cici, Smriti, Sharmila and Sandesh, who never fail to put a smile on my face, mainly because they're always smiling themselves!
The bus ride back kind of appitomised the quirky little things about this country and why I'm going to miss it so much. We were wedged in the seat, the sun was setting over the lake beside us, gloriously loud Nepali music was blaring from the speakers, there was a goat just chilling on the back seats, a woman handed us her child to look after while she stood up, all the women wearing their beautiful, bold traditional dress with no inhibitions or judgements passed, all having just done a full hard days work on their farms yet still smiling and chatting away, strangers engaging in conversation, warm smiles all around and of course an incredibly bumpy road, cows and buffalo strolling carefree all around.
When I can just get up and go, leaving such incredible people behind me in a time of need, it's hard not to be racked with guilt. Questions like "why is it I can leave when they can't?" and "does this mean I'm a deserter?" constantly run through my mind. But when a Nepali lady takes your hands in hers and tells you "Go home to your parents. Make them happy. It'll give you good karma and your own children will treat you well. You're trustworthy and I'm glad you've helped my country. It makes me proud to be a woman when I see young, strong girls like you. Have a safe trip home and I hope we meet again." - you can't just keep beating yourself up. Thank you, you lovely woman, for boosting my spirits and easing my guilt. I may be leaving your beautiful country but I will NEVER desert it.
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